Alright, so a member of the group messaged me asking if I could put up a post or a journal entry un regards to being postop since a lot of the group is still either prehormonal or mid transition.

So to put things into perspective for the MtF's of the group, I will share my personal experience, give you the pros and the cons.

So I knew since I was real young (like most of you) that my body was inaccurate to how I saw myself. I didn't know the title of transgender until I was 13 or so. Like grew up in a southern baptist bible belt in a Christian family, so naturally this terminology was unheard of for me until I got the internet. My mom did explain what gay and lesbian was to me when I was young, but the terminology of transgender was new for her when I started wearing girls stuff in secret only for her to find out. She said to me "if you're gay then you should get on a special diet", as if to say I would most likely get aids. *facepalm* My dad found out from her about it, which for most of my life he was a long distance trucker, and they were divorced from when I was 9-14 only to get remarried. But he told me in the car one day when we went to a junk yard for a car part "I hope you don't turn out to be gay." My mom even said "I won't call you by any female name." When she read some of my self writings that I kept from them. in June 2006 I got tired of making them and everyone else happy. I sat them down and told them how I felt. OF course for like a month or so my mom wouldn't go in stores with me, or be seen in public with me in general, until the ACLU recommended this older trans woman come and sit them down and put things into perspective for them. Then they started calling me by a female name and tried their best to use female pronouns. Naturally my family outside of them were complete assholes about this.

Fast forward.

In 2008 2 months after my mom died, I left my southern baptist hell hole. Then in November of that year I finally found an endocrinologist who put me on hormones.

Hormones. Something every girl/guy wants as part of their transition, for those of us who truly identify as the opposite sex.

Hormones, they have helped with breast growth, T blockers have helped reduce testosterone so that the estrodiol can do its thing.

Now I had already had naturally soft skin before hormones, so this wasn't anything hormones changed other than breasts, and a little bit of hip change. However it did make my skin more soft than it already was. In 2011 I started laser hair removal to prepare for SRS (sexual reassignment surgery), something some girls do not want for whatever reason they wish to go with. But me, I wanted it since I found information about transgenderism. It just seemed to click with me that I wanted everything about me to be female.

Now laser hair removal, I needed it on my legs big time cause they get hairy as hell (had this happen before I started keeping my legs shaved pre coming out). My arms have very light/thin hair so I didn't need any laser done to them. I had my upper lip done and my chin gets a lot of hairs, but laser did nothing since they are very light, so for now I just stick to shaving. Had my underarms done, and talk about hurting like hell, that shit was painful every single time they did my underarms, but well worth the investment. And lastly I had my genitalia done, which was also very painful. I found this deal at a laser place in Towson, MD that had a sale going on like 2 years or so for 1k or 2k? Not entirely sure of the price. And they were okay with doing genitalia work on me even though I am trans.

Skipping ahead to SRS. I got my two letters I needed, and set up a date for November (something another) 2012. Now I had to gain some weight per surgeon's recommendation in case I were to lose blood. I am 5'9 or 5'10 depending on who measures me, and at the time was 138. I am now around 165 or so because of the weight gain. However when they went to operate on me, my heart had irregular beats (which the medical term is tachycardia) like 2/3 through. And it went high. They then gave me stuff to reduce my heart rate and it dropped way too low. They tried waking me up and couldn't. So they rushed me to the ER. Dr Reed does outpatient in his own place, so that's why. For 2 days or so after I did wake up I didn't remember anything people said to me. However looking back on it I remember having sleep paralysis or something of the nature, because I remember hearing everyone talking but couldn't open my eyes nor talk.

Now I am also on anxiety meds due to having Asperger's Syndrome, so maybe they counteracted with the anesthesia?

I spent a week in the hospital trying to figure out what was wrong with my heart, only to not have anything come up, so they released me.

Now like a month or so before they finished my surgery I had to have a catheter put back in because the way my surgeon had to stitch everything, I was starting to have a hard time emptying my bladder,

Feb 14th (yes Valentine's Day) 2013they finished my procedure.

I woke up in the recovery room with no problem, and the rest of the surgery went smoothly. I do remember having a World of Warcraft dream (yes I am a gamer) when they woke me up. Now my birthday is 5 days later (19th) and someone who is like a mother figure to me was there with me and had bought me an iPad mini while I was under the knife in Miami Beach for my birthday for me, and had it in an Otterbox Defender for me when I had woke up. Now my fingers were having tingly feelings in them for a day or so after I woke up, so I had her set it up for me and had her download some apps for me.

They then released me the next day from the hospital, and I went back to the Baltic Hotel where Dr Reed visited me until my departure to make sure I was doing okay and that the healing was doing good. And yes he also did the same thing when I was in the hospital worrying about my heart. So anyone who considers Reed for their operation, do know that his post care is recommended by me. I have also heard negative things about Marcy Bowers' post care.

Now a year and 6 months and some days later, I am healed up.

I do not think about sex that often because my sex drive has dropped quite a bit since having my operation. And that's surprisingly fine by me, considering I was going insane before hand wondering if I'd have a fuckable vagina. You live and learn I guess, lol. I still have a dirty mind but my need for sex isn't there. I haven't even tried to masturbate since, that's how low my sex drive is.

Now those young and old considering transitioning fully, this has been my experience. Now I am a rare case for surgery complications, but do know that it can happen to anyone. I just happened to be unlucky.

I am thankful to God that I am still alive, because everyone involved was worrying if I'd wake up or not.

Now my dad who I mentioned before, he told me on the phone when I called him in 2012 during my complication to let him know I was alright, told me he didn't approve of me having SRS. Which at the time I brushed off cause I was fucked on morphine to even care, but 2 weeks after I got home, I was bitter at the world cause of it for like 4 days straight. Didn't wanna be around anyone, and anyone who talked to me I snapped at.

Now those I live with have been like a mom and dad to me, and also helped me out with the cost of surgery because they value my safety and well being, which is the only reason I am 24 and post. And for that I can't thank them enough.

If anyone has any further questions, leave a reply on this thread, and I'd be happy to answer.

-Lexie