Transgender Support Group
This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.
1. While God was doing his thing, a passing UFO showered Earth with excessive radiation from it's tailpipe(this was before Galactic emissions testing.)
2. During the creation process, an angel decided to play a joke. "Why you little devil, you." God said, "You just hosed up the human procreation process. Take this bottle of 500 billion SPF sunblock, because you're going to need it where you're going. See ya."
3. God forgot something. (give him a break, he's old.)
4. God is a cosmic psychotic tyrant who screws with his little creations simply because he's able to. It's how he gets his sick jollies.
5. #### happens.
6. Make up your own reason.
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I'm my mother's offspring. I'm also a 61 year-old transmale AND I'm Christian! (Gasp!). This may evoke recollections of others claiming to be such, the interaction with same possibly negative because of attitudes/opinions that are politely termed "unfortunate." I've experienced my share of similar interactions, too and they make a particular body part of mine tighten up.
A couple thoughts-my ax cuts both ways. If I realize that someone's ax only cuts one way, I would suggest that person needs a new ax. I like to distill things down to the basics; the "human being" level. Perhaps you'll find it to be of benefit, too.
Perhaps a reader will, based on a number of things and my being "Christian", decide they "know", right? But I suggest this- wouldn't this person be doing to me what we justifiably rail against others doing to each of us-making a presumptive judgment about the inside based on the outside?
Details of an issue are important, but I think the larger, conceptual issues are more important because they should form the foundation from which the details spring.
We've each experienced a death that I think is as real as any physical death-the death of "genetic wholeness" and none of us is never going to know genetic wholeness-ever-in spite of anything a person might choose to do. Death-grief/loss issues are everywhere, so I highly recommend the book "On Death and Dying" by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. If you're engaging the services of a therapist and they haven't done so, ask this person why they haven't turned you on to this book-shame on them if they haven't because the stages of grief are real and are disregarded at one's own peril.
Speaking of therapists and, applicable to any human from whom advice is sought should be the "vibe" one senses coming in:
Have YOU considered? What is YOUR goal? What's important to YOU? What is YOUR desire? Get the idea? If this isn't what a person senses coming in, maybe something other than YOU is the goal.
Initially, it is you-alone, because no one can "tell" anyone what to do and this alone-ness is a bit terrifying. I found this beneficial. In privacy, look at yourself in the mirror and maintain eye contact. Emotion may prevent audible speech, so start thinking this:
"I'm not a bank robber, murderer, or serial killer. I'm not a mistake, or genetic crap. I'm a living, breathing, person who cries and laughs and loves and gives love. I've embraced a reality about myself that may have begun as a whisper and got stronger until it stared me right in the eyes and I stared right back and I didn't blink! I'm stronger than I know, I'm tougher than I know. I'm working things out, so lighten up on yourself! This is reality for me-I'm not genetically typical, I'm genetically ATYPICAL! There's going to ups, downs, changes. I am alone, but I'm not IN this alone!"
I kept this up until words started coming out and the tears of sorrow turned into tears of joy. I couldn't stop smiling as the joy and elation filled me. Repeat as needed.
We don't live in a vacuum. "My right to swing my arm ends where the other person's nose begins," is something each person has to work out and the consideration, support, and understanding each of us desires we must choose to extend to those around each of us, the importance increasing with the level of relationship. All best.
Binarystar
2. During the creation process, an angel decided to play a joke. "Why you little devil, you." God said, "You just hosed up the human procreation process. Take this bottle of 500 billion SPF sunblock, because you're going to need it where you're going. See ya."
3. God forgot something. (give him a break, he's old.)
4. God is a cosmic psychotic tyrant who screws with his little creations simply because he's able to. It's how he gets his sick jollies.
5. #### happens.
6. Make up your own reason.
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I'm my mother's offspring. I'm also a 61 year-old transmale AND I'm Christian! (Gasp!). This may evoke recollections of others claiming to be such, the interaction with same possibly negative because of attitudes/opinions that are politely termed "unfortunate." I've experienced my share of similar interactions, too and they make a particular body part of mine tighten up.
A couple thoughts-my ax cuts both ways. If I realize that someone's ax only cuts one way, I would suggest that person needs a new ax. I like to distill things down to the basics; the "human being" level. Perhaps you'll find it to be of benefit, too.
Perhaps a reader will, based on a number of things and my being "Christian", decide they "know", right? But I suggest this- wouldn't this person be doing to me what we justifiably rail against others doing to each of us-making a presumptive judgment about the inside based on the outside?
Details of an issue are important, but I think the larger, conceptual issues are more important because they should form the foundation from which the details spring.
We've each experienced a death that I think is as real as any physical death-the death of "genetic wholeness" and none of us is never going to know genetic wholeness-ever-in spite of anything a person might choose to do. Death-grief/loss issues are everywhere, so I highly recommend the book "On Death and Dying" by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. If you're engaging the services of a therapist and they haven't done so, ask this person why they haven't turned you on to this book-shame on them if they haven't because the stages of grief are real and are disregarded at one's own peril.
Speaking of therapists and, applicable to any human from whom advice is sought should be the "vibe" one senses coming in:
Have YOU considered? What is YOUR goal? What's important to YOU? What is YOUR desire? Get the idea? If this isn't what a person senses coming in, maybe something other than YOU is the goal.
Initially, it is you-alone, because no one can "tell" anyone what to do and this alone-ness is a bit terrifying. I found this beneficial. In privacy, look at yourself in the mirror and maintain eye contact. Emotion may prevent audible speech, so start thinking this:
"I'm not a bank robber, murderer, or serial killer. I'm not a mistake, or genetic crap. I'm a living, breathing, person who cries and laughs and loves and gives love. I've embraced a reality about myself that may have begun as a whisper and got stronger until it stared me right in the eyes and I stared right back and I didn't blink! I'm stronger than I know, I'm tougher than I know. I'm working things out, so lighten up on yourself! This is reality for me-I'm not genetically typical, I'm genetically ATYPICAL! There's going to ups, downs, changes. I am alone, but I'm not IN this alone!"
I kept this up until words started coming out and the tears of sorrow turned into tears of joy. I couldn't stop smiling as the joy and elation filled me. Repeat as needed.
We don't live in a vacuum. "My right to swing my arm ends where the other person's nose begins," is something each person has to work out and the consideration, support, and understanding each of us desires we must choose to extend to those around each of us, the importance increasing with the level of relationship. All best.
Binarystar
Why is there transgender people, and why am I transgender? Why did God do this to me? All questions I don't have answers to, but sure wish I did. I don't dwell on them nearly as much as I once did, because it's a waste of my energy. Christians will say "God doesn't make mistakes" , I say okay fine. Now this is not an exact analogy, but works somewhat, there people born with birth-defects every day, now I am not saying being transgender is a birth-defect, but I think a rather relatable to it.
Instead I focus I what am I going to do moving forward. And that is a much bigger question for me. If it was just me, I would be out now telling everyone I know, who and what I am. But I have a an awesome wife and two incredible daughters, who are all impacted by whatever I do. So that weighs heavily on what I do.
Then there's the whole Christian thing again. The problem is not Christianity, it's the Christians. I think if we all as Christians just went by a few simple concepts, things could be much better.
1)Follow the 10 commandments.
2) love others as Christ first loved you(me).
3) judge not lest you be judged.
Hugs,
Dawn
As someone who had to transition before transgender was even a word, and lived with it for 30 years, meaning that I grew up transgender in the 60s, 70s and 80s in a latino culture with no idea of what was going on with me, with the only point of reference was Christine Jorgensen and Renee Richards I can share these insights with you.
I was told God did not make mistakes, they were right. Let me elaborate, everything in life has a reason for being, there, as a result we are here for a damn good reason. I found the answer in the New Testament where Christ is being asked why a blind man was indeed blind, was it because his parents sinned? Christ says no, he was blind so others could see God's work through him.
But it does not quite, end there. See, I have pondered this for a long time and I ended up realizing something, that Christ had a great insight here because it ended up being true, for me, but for that to happen I had to let go of the "Why me?" mentality.
The answer to the "why me?" ended up being "why not me?" You are right, being transgender is not a birth defect, I think of it as a mutation, a step up the evolutionary scale. Why would I think that? Simple, because having lived and having been treated as the opposite gender we have an insight on the construct that is gender. Here we have a splendid opportunity to learn what the binary miss out on due to their own limitations in perception, we have the advantage of choosing which rules are beneficial to us and which to toss.
Instead we choose to wallow in a misery of our making, it is true society does not make it easier but it is most defiitely not as hard as it was when I was growing up. But things will not change if we do not collectively stop feeling sorry for ourselves.
i grew up with no therapist's help, I only knew that I knew I was a boy/guy. I dd not know to anything else,that was enough. At the time there was no hormone for my kind, no treatment, no even a name ( I know I said that before) for this. I grew up in an extremely binary culture that was enforced on a daily basis but I rebelled, I found ways around it, necesity is the mother of invention. I led two lives knowing it would be dangerous, but my identity was stronger than the thought of danger.
The point I am trying to make is simple: Looking back on my life, it was an ordeal more times than not, it was very painful but you know what? I now see why this happened. It happened because I was made for it. This was most definitely not a mistake.
And Christianity or Christians are the problem. We are our own worst enemies. The day we realize that we are more powerful than we think we are, the day that we stop paying attention to out there and listen our own inner compass, that's the day we well truly be free as people.
I ended up transitioning or rather finding a way out of this maze in 1987, and do you know why? It was a tiny decision: I was going to find a way out of this self made maze, and once I started to paw my way out, doors that I thought were innacessible began to open, and my determination that there had to be a way, and that way was found each and every time. If a door closed, I would look for a window.
This happened because I understood that this happened for me because it was meant to be that way. Once I knew that in my bones and heart,. Nothing was ever the same and I thank God he made this way, without it I would not know what I know now.
Hugs,
Wolf
I mean to say that Christiany and Christians are not the problem, per se,
Wolf (FTM since 1987)
Someone who has been like a dad to me since I moved away from my hellhole town in Florida had his mom tell him (before she passed and was like a grandma to me) that I walk like I have a spiritual connection to a higher power, that I don't want like a normal human being. Dunno what she means, but I do identify not only as a Wiccan but a spiritual Wiccan.
I do not let others' opinions of me influence how I live my life. I was put on this planet to live my life and be happy, not to be a slave to how others want me to be. I am also autistic, so I am more in tune with who I am than most people. Maybe that's why she told him I walked like I had a spiritual connection. I dunno.
Don't let others influence who you are. Don't let how society feels stop you from being yourself. Just be happy and those who matter will be happy for you.