So what's stopping you? I am beginning to feel like a parrot in this. What is stopping you from being you? its not your parents, its not your legal situation, its not the mental health clinic (I know a number of Irish people who have transitioned quite successfully there with 0 issues), so whats stopping you? The answer is... you are. You are the one who is stopping you from being who you are. What are you missing to be a woman? Not a darned thing except from a sexual standpoint which is irrelevant. Go take a look at women in your area, some wear masculine clothing wear no make up have their hair cut short and some probably even look more like men than you do. WHy are they women and you aren't. Because they know what they are... a woman. You on the other hand just see yourself as a man, sure there is a woman in there, but you refuse to let it be who you are. you are refusing to see it. Its already out, its what everyone sees on a daily basis and that's life, but you still doubt yourself. Tell the bloody therapist the truth and stick to your assertion that you are you. all you do by playing the game you are playing is convince them more and more you aren't and it will all go away. You are legally an adult, there is 0 reason you cannot deal with this from your own stand point. if your parents are going to not let you live there, get a place of your own and then if they don't like it they can push off. You are going to have to show them that this is who you are. The problem is the first person you have to convince is yourself. You don't need makeup, dresses, heels long hair, any of that crap to be a woman. Likewise you can have all the reconstructive surgery in the world, you don't change how you see yourself youre still going to see the man with a woman trapped inside.

I am totally new to this site and I just wanted you to know that you are not alone with these feelings. I am just finally coming to terms with myself and gathering the confidence to talk to my parents. I like to think about little mile stones to look forward to, which helps to keep me focused on more positive things.

Athena,

I think most everyone feels stuck at the beginning. Even when things start to work at the beginning they feel like small, slow changes. But so many things happen at one time that this seeming slowness really gives you time to adjust, deal with new information, plan, cry a little, worry a little, privately or publically crossdress and find what makes you feel most like your female self, find the people who love you and more and more find all the pieces of yourself as a woman. I hope you can get in and start dealing with the first normal fears of self disclosure. Things get better over time, and you will get stronger and braver over time.

I waited over my whole life to be able to transition, and I have no regrets because I didnt have a safe option during most of that time. But now I have transitioned publically to what I always was privately, and it is a joyous thing to be myself and have others actively support that, or have people who do not know me identify me as the gender I have always felt I was. It is such a feeling of relief and wholeness and hope.

You are right to check things out and do your transition as safely as you can, but there will always be uncomfortable or worrisome things to deal with. Those are balanced by the real joy of being yourself.

You can do this. Decide one piece you can do safely and start there.

Take care, Young Friend.
Liam

I just wanted to share that it does not matter what you do or do not do to your physical body, whether you take cross-sex hormones or even if you have bottom surgery. The fact is that what you are is who you are internally. Your body is you and will always be you. If you were born with a male body, then you will never not have one. I do not want you to feel like I am being heartless and transphobic either because I myself transitioned back in November of 2013.

I learned that no matter what I do, I will never be a woman, it is simply not at all conceivably possible. I do not say that to trigger anyone either, I am just trying to be honest with you. I hope that you can understand that I am not trying to do that. My heart goes out to you because I too know how hard not liking being a guy can be. I am not saying that you need to identify with the stereotype of masculine expression and being a typical guy. I don't like masculinity much myself either but there are certain things that I can do about it and there are some things that are out of my control. Sexed reality is one those things that I cannot do anything about.

There is no way to know what if feels like to be a woman, even women do not entertain the thought of what that means. Women are just that, born women. We have, as humans, the ability to express our humanity as femininely and as masculinely as we choose to. If we decide to take cross-sex hormones, it is at our own peril, HRT is proven to be unsafe for biological women who were being recommended it for treating menopause. The use of hormones like these are allowed to be prescribed after several warnings are agreed to by the patient. In the end, hormones do not constitute your overall essence and the uniqueness of who you know yourself to be. Estrogen is a highly toxic hormone in male bodies. They contribute to a decline in overall health and do nothing to permanently feminize anyone. These are temporary changes at best and when the body realizes what is happening to it, it reacts accordingly.

If you would like to PM me, I would love to help answer any questions that you might have. Remember, you are beautiful as you are, nobody needs to change their body to fit society. Society is the one that needs to change and accept us all as we happen to choose to be. Puberty is not a disease, you don't need to be afraid.