Hi Em Theo
I am a mtf transsexual woman, but I can understand and relate to some of the things you feel. I haven't heard of any other woman who are in your exact situation but I am sure they are out there. I understand the feelings of being isolated or alone in what you are doing and that can be hard to deal with, there were times when I would feel like some kind of circus freak or pervert. The thing is all it amounts to is that we are a little different than the majority, it isn't any real big deal, except that peopole are afraid of anything they don't understand or are not familiar with and will shun or avoid, and that can be painful

lol, they should be greatful for people like us, we keep things interesting. you might want to give some consideration to talking a little more in depth with your therapist, or maybe better seeking out a therapist who specializes in cross gender therapy, not to change or stop the behavior but to become more comfortable with it, and to understand better why it fills a need for you. Personally I think it is pretty cool myself, that you are a uniquely interesting woman. I hope you can come to feel that way about yourself.

blessings and peace
Symantha

one thing you are for sure, and that is one lucky lady, to have a spouse you can share this with. I agree with Symantha that talking to somebody to help understand this part of you better would be a good idea. Good luck.

Thank you both for words of support. I think I was hoping for a flood of responses like "oh yeah don't you know there's huge networks of cdsw - you can find them in your neighborhood at www.crossdress.yourneighborhood.com"!! :) So maybe it is up to me to get one going!! Anyway, yes I am lucky to have a loving spouse who supports me and shares my exploring. He has some health issues and worries about his health at times...and recently said "if anything ever happens to me and then you meet someone, how will you ever explain what you are into?" I have no idea...it really is the last thing I'm worried about and I'm sure a long ways away if ever, but the scenario makes me smile in a way (imagining a look of surprise when I attempt to explain in a new relationship what sex will be like with me) (and cringe...because chances are it would be hard to find someone who would be into it with me).

Another thought on this... I wonder if there isn't a term for this or specific support networks because in the end it really isn't too far out of the scope of what is acceptable by the majority. My h and I are still a WASP, hetero couple. Women's fashion is often unisex and copies men's clothes anyway (ie business suits)...so I don't even get second looks when I wear men's clothes and go out with a pack (can't really see it anyway). So since I'm not facing rejection and the pain associated with rejection, there isn't a deep need to band together for support. Still, it would be nice to discuss the issues that come with all this with someone who's been there too. I'll give it time and more searching...because Symantha, I think you're right, I'm sure they are out there. i face thoughts sometimes that this is degenerate behavior, but those thoughts are coming less and less. Mostly I think I am already well on my way to feeling like it is something cool and interesting about myself. In fact, i think part of me always has...ever since I ran to the boys department to pick out my first grade school clothes...

I think there is a term for what you desribe - a drag king. Love and hugs Md2.

OMG I love it. That totally made me laugh. So obvious too...

I think you are very brave in being honest about it, it's a shame there are no group's out there for you to talk to and get advice from i think that it's important that you talk to other crossdressing women beause the support is no where near as big as crossdressing men and this will hopefully get other women to talk about it i suppose can feel very lonely like you feel your the only person in the world that does this i have a pantyhose fetish which i have been doing since childhood and before the internet i thought i was a total freak it ruind my childhood because there was no one to talk to about it i was that ashamed but now i have come to terms with and have to accept that this is apart of who i am i wish it never happend to me but i can't live in the past at least i now know that im not the only one but we are all different and unique which is what makes this world a great place to be life would be so dull if we all wore the same clothes talked the same good luck to you.

try www.crossdressers.com They have a great section for FTM crossdressers and FTM transgender

I am a FtM trans and yes the Drag kind thing seems the most obvious lol But I am attracted to butch women oddly.... -shrugs- We all ahve our differences, although I am starting to think I am a freak lol But I am glad your hubby supports you

Hi guys! Thanks for your responses. Those comments were over a year ago and I had kind of forgot what I had written. I'll check out that web site suggestion. It's still a very relevant topic for me. Lately I've had thoughts of breast reduction or removal. And I'm not big to start with but since I'm done w having babies it sure would be nice to be rid of these!! I can't ever really imagine going through with it but in a weird way it's nice to know that if I ever come down w breast cancer a mastectomy would not be a problem for me!! That probably sounds like a strange thing to say!