Transgender Support Group
This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.
Hello everyone.
First off I have to admit I haven't done much of anything to persue my transgender dream and this is the first time I've openly discussed it on any platform to anyone. I'm not even sure what to really call myself anymore.
To put it as simple as I can, I want to look like a woman and keep my digit. I enjoy the female psyique so much I want it for myself. My problem is, I don't even know where to begin and my family are very.. anti-homosexual or anything non-christian-white-straight-conformed, if that makes sense? I really don't mean to offend anyone here, but my family are gay-bashers and racists.. So it's impossible for me to express myself in any way I'd like to until I can get far far away from all of them.
I've been like this for a long time.. Even when I was little I would dress up like a girl and do questionable pretend things, usually pretending to be female. My first sexual experience was with a guy and before that I had no clue what sex was at all. I was 11 or 12 when that started. So I know I'm bisexual and submissive, I love the female body and while I'm not totally disgusted with myself, I'd be much happier if I could look more shapely and feminine. I just generally adore the female lifestyle also. I've always been expected to be some macho-manly-man who works hard and gives the girl everything he has (Then gets used, abused and discarded usually). I don't know why but I don't enjoy what is expected of men. I don't enjoy having to be violent or get angry with people to prevent being walked all over. I feel like my personality in a man's body is a serious problem. If I were a girl people would care for what I have to say and expect different things of me. But besides all that I'd rather be busty, smooth and curvy than macho, buff and hairy.
But my issues with males goes further than just looks. The men in my life have been cruel to me. My dad had almost nothing to do with my through my childhood, he was always angry. Most of the people who have beat me or bullied me have been men. I watch guys every day act like they're #1 while being the worst type of human beings. I know girls are not flawless either but the guys in my life since I was a child until now have been less than good rolemodels. It's made me generally dislike the male image as a whole and I'm unhappy to be considered a male along side some of the guy's I've had to deal with in my life.
I don't mean to offend, It's just my experience. Clearly I have not had enough accepting, decent people in my life.
So my questions are this, if I were to begin... Where would I start? Is there a diet/workout that could be useful for me now? I'd love to have a step-by-step layout of what it would take.. I don't even know if it'd be worth it at my age, but I'm clueless where to begin. Searching online isn't so easy with this kind of topic. I'd really like to know anything you think is useful.
I want to be as beautiful on the outside as my soul is inside.
First off I have to admit I haven't done much of anything to persue my transgender dream and this is the first time I've openly discussed it on any platform to anyone. I'm not even sure what to really call myself anymore.
To put it as simple as I can, I want to look like a woman and keep my digit. I enjoy the female psyique so much I want it for myself. My problem is, I don't even know where to begin and my family are very.. anti-homosexual or anything non-christian-white-straight-conformed, if that makes sense? I really don't mean to offend anyone here, but my family are gay-bashers and racists.. So it's impossible for me to express myself in any way I'd like to until I can get far far away from all of them.
I've been like this for a long time.. Even when I was little I would dress up like a girl and do questionable pretend things, usually pretending to be female. My first sexual experience was with a guy and before that I had no clue what sex was at all. I was 11 or 12 when that started. So I know I'm bisexual and submissive, I love the female body and while I'm not totally disgusted with myself, I'd be much happier if I could look more shapely and feminine. I just generally adore the female lifestyle also. I've always been expected to be some macho-manly-man who works hard and gives the girl everything he has (Then gets used, abused and discarded usually). I don't know why but I don't enjoy what is expected of men. I don't enjoy having to be violent or get angry with people to prevent being walked all over. I feel like my personality in a man's body is a serious problem. If I were a girl people would care for what I have to say and expect different things of me. But besides all that I'd rather be busty, smooth and curvy than macho, buff and hairy.
But my issues with males goes further than just looks. The men in my life have been cruel to me. My dad had almost nothing to do with my through my childhood, he was always angry. Most of the people who have beat me or bullied me have been men. I watch guys every day act like they're #1 while being the worst type of human beings. I know girls are not flawless either but the guys in my life since I was a child until now have been less than good rolemodels. It's made me generally dislike the male image as a whole and I'm unhappy to be considered a male along side some of the guy's I've had to deal with in my life.
I don't mean to offend, It's just my experience. Clearly I have not had enough accepting, decent people in my life.
So my questions are this, if I were to begin... Where would I start? Is there a diet/workout that could be useful for me now? I'd love to have a step-by-step layout of what it would take.. I don't even know if it'd be worth it at my age, but I'm clueless where to begin. Searching online isn't so easy with this kind of topic. I'd really like to know anything you think is useful.
I want to be as beautiful on the outside as my soul is inside.
First, Thank you for being so honest about your journey. I haven't fully transitioned nor even fully come out and a lot of what you said helped me make sense of my feelings. You are not alone in your feelings towards stereotypical men.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation with your families mindset. You should defiantly try to find a safer place to transition and work on helping them understand once you are on your own. It might seem like they will never understand but you may be surprised. Until then, its always worth making changes, no matter your age
It would be hard to make a step by step layout, everyones story is different. A good place to start is therapy, your parents don't have to know why you are going. It can be both an emotional support but also a source of informational support and advice. Specialist therapist can be even more helpful but are difficult to find if your trying to keep it low key. You may also wish to tell a few close people that you can trust, it may help you come to terms with who you are. Once you are on your own, hormone treatment will be a big help in changing your body. The internet has a lot of information on MtF hormone treatment but it also has a lot of other junk that can drive you crazy if you look into it to much.
Im not sure if that helps, it was a lot to process. If you have any other questions that I can help with or want to talk please feel free to message me. Its a long journey but it gets better, just stay strong and take it day by day.
With much love,
Hollie
I worked in the trades for 30 years and I hated the people that I had to deal with on a day to day basis ( not all but most ). Men can be exactly as you have said but I will tell you that my best friend for over thirty years is the kindest most gentle man you will ever meet.
I as well feel very non male in the traditional sense but I know that I am male in my core. My personality has never matched my physique or gender but my wife loves me for the large heart that has a ton of sensitivity. Also being the way that I am has helped me to understand my sons journey into becoming female.
I hope this helps a bit.
I understand not everyone is the same, I believe I mentioned that in my post. This is just the experiences I've had that molded my mindset and sent me in this direction. I'm not so harsh on my judgements and I'm a very forgiving person. However, the expectations and typical behavior of genders is a very real thing. There will always be exceptions and I have met a lot of amazing people.
I've been doing a lot of research... and you're right when you say there is a TON of different information. I read that I would be required to admit to therapy and a transgender specialist for approval before I could begin taking any kind of hormone treatments or surgeries, is that true?
I have a natural resistance to paying someone a small fortune to tell me things I already know or do nothing for me at all except belittle me repeatedly. I've known I've wanted this for over ten years and was questioning it before then.
I guess I will try to find someone professional to speak to, again.. I'm about 95% positive it'll be a waste of my time here as it has been the last 3 attempts. It's unreal how difficult finding a good doctor/person is.
The truth is, I don't really hate my body I have now. I try to find the beauty in everything around me, even when I'm upset, angry or disapprove of whatever. I used to loath being in a male form, like my body was alien to me. It never made sense but as I grew and had a few unique experiences, I came to realize I love everything about myself and I want to express myself to the fullest possible so I can be happy, its other people who have made me so self-conscious. It's my dream and I want to achieve but I won't break if I can't. I want to do this for me, to be beautiful to myself and make myself happy. It's not for anyone else or any other reason than it's what I feel I should be. I won't let my world be ruined if I can't make my dreams reality. That's just the type of person I've become and it was a struggle to find this love. I don't expect anyone to fully understand or 'approve' of it.
Something else, I was reading this bit about estrogen being high in some foods, is that something that can really help form a more feminine image? I've also considered starting a workout made for girls. I know that the male body develops differently but can't hurt, right?
You all are gorgeous people, by the way. Thank you for the input. I'll try to do some research and find a helpful therapist of some kind here that deals with issues like this.
My son was repulsed by his male form and I don't actually know if he ( she ) feels any different. Since taking hormones I do see differences in mannerisms. The pursuit of losing weight and becoming more female in appearance. I heard my daughter say that when somebody refers to him as female it makes his day. Sorry about constantly saying him or he but I think my story would get confusing to not only you but to me as well trying to keep up with the proper context.