Transgender Support Group

This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.

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Relationships & Sexuality
/ Transgender Support Group

Scared

Blueangel78
Blueangel78

Hi my name is heidi and i have been with my fiance for 7 years and i new he liked wearing womens clothes  and he said he was bisexual wich i am ok with but recently he tild me he was gay but he still wanted ti be with me and was totally attracted  to me sexually  and then told me he was ready to be a women and to look like one so we picked a name and he has veen slowly changing but it seems to be on and off. I feel yself getting scared and feeling lost in all this and starting to feel like he wants me to be the man in the relationship. Im not sure how to handle all this all i know is i love him and i feel so lost. Any advice

WyndWytch
WyndWytch
sit down and talk about it. That's my advice. You and he are clearly not on the same page as to the others desires and in the end that is the only way you are going to get there. You didn't list what country you are in, but as a general in most, in order to do anything related to a transition he has to have a therapist and a number of other things to get that rolling. The fact that its an on and off thing makes it sound more like he's more in the fetish thing but a therapist is the only one whos going to be able to make any determination. So if he isn't going to one, then he's stuck where he is, simple as that. For your side. you need to sit down and talk to him and find out what he expects life to be, you talk about what you expect it to be and you try to meet somewhere in the middle, that's what relationships are. they are constantly trying to meet in the middle. So you and he need to sit down and have a long talk about his intentions, where he is with who he is and so on. The fact that he is sexually attracted to you means he is not gay. Simple as that, he's bi, but as with most he probably has times where he swings from one side of the fence to the other. So yeah sit down and talk. do it when there is plenty of time to talk for a long time because you both have a lot to talk about.
Blueangel78
Blueangel78
You were very helpful thank you so much we have sat down and talked but i tjink we will do it again and i will be forward with how i ask the questions and say what i want out if all this i love him so much and just want him happy. Just tired of feeling lost and not knowing who i am any more or what he wants from me or how he wants things to be.
Boomerang55
Boomerang55
A very awkward situation, he has his needs and you have yours, a FWB sorta thing , could be a solution, but that too has its potential problems too, the detatchment part is the most difficult to conquer, but it would be an interim solution, I am in one of those at the minute, for different reasons to yours, but it is working, its quite a leap I know but it is doable, good luck whatever you do.
Wrathoftime
Wrathoftime
Also try cross-posting this to Spouses of Transgender