Am I not trans enough:
This may be the wrong angle to approach the subject however transgender is not in it’s self a state of being it is merely a catch all label used to sum up feelings of the gender expression or belief of another group or persons experiences. How do I know I am transgender or transgender enough, you don’t, you won’t. I hope that what you are experiencing is a profound question of who am I and whom do I feel fulfilled to be. To be or not to be that is the question. I can only give you real advice based upon my experience and please bear in mind that it will be as individual as snowflakes and cats. When I was four there was a girls dress hanging in a community clothes washing area, I got up the courage to place it on my body and it felt as if I was meant to wear this garment and not just the feeling of a strange garment but also the desire to be the person wearing this dress, fast forward in life I never felt masculine however (as most of us do) disguised any traits of my femininity. Yes living like this is pathological, and a survival existence, and there may come a time when this is no longer acceptable, I equate it to an empty feeling or a lie that can no longer be told. I had to look into myself to determine who I really was my true self, and yes the option of the self and the choices that were not followed. We are creatures who rely on the past to prognosticate the future, use your past and don’t dismiss it. In closing: I now find the concepts of gender expression to be vast and plagued by rules. Come to terms with who you are and be what you have come to be even if this changes over time it’s called personal evolution. I very much hope this helps with your choices.

I left you a reply that I need to add to if you please. As a male who expresses and appears female I sometimes forget my male past, I don't dislike having been a male in fact maleness is great the loyalty to others the determination to accomplish the pride in being male the ability to overlook things which may be unpleasant without complaint male stability in mood and behavior and yes male ego without it many thing accomplished would not be. You know if you see yourself as male you should be proud you will be great. Do your homework observe male behavior with no preadjust then ask yourself are my intensions to be this, and also like everything else there is the good and bad and in between we all carry. I will always say love yourself and be yourself no matter which road you chose or the other road you chose as you go part or the whole way down on your travels. As a girl to a boy I love you no matter.

Hello, Amil.

Life can be a confusing experience, NO?

It sounds like you are a deep thinker, and a person who wants to be the most genuine expression of yourself.

I hope you have a counselor to bounce some of your concerns off of, since it sounds like you have been struggling with concerns about this for quite some time.

I see being cis-gender and being transgender on sort of opposite ends of a scale (but not really, to confuse the issue). Cis-gender folks most of the time, most days of their life feel pretty solidly aware that their physical makeup and how other people identify them is a pretty close match. Transgender folks most of the time, most days feel pretty uncomfortably aware that their physical makeup and how other people identify them is not a match, and the resulting discomfort is pretty unrelenting.

But I also think that Cis-gender people can certainly have times they identify their thought or behavior as more typical of a different gender.

Transgender people can also have times they momentarily identify strongly with some aspect of their assigned rather that their preferred gender.

Gender fluid individuals may cruise back and forth and regularly feel confused that they don't seem to be tightly connected to one gender or another and feel a bit guilty about claiming to be one thing or another.

I hope it is more important over the course of our short lives to be a great loving/giving/...world changing person than to stake the right claim to having the correct physique or hormones. I lived for 60 years and suffered wanting and needing those things, so I am not saying they aren't important for me or for you. I feel huge relief on male hormones and having had gender affirming surgery. But there are many many ways to be yourself, and you don't have to justify it to anyone else what makes sense to you. I am glad that I have every day to decide what I want to be that day to be important in my world, and I hope you find ways that make you feel great to do that too.

Don't be hard on yourself. Life takes a lot of figuring out and not one of us gets it exactly right. It is perfectly ok just to make your best guesses and make adjustments as you learn new information.

Take care.
Liam

ive been strugling with gender identity most of my life 30 sum years now it came to an edge last year. when i came out to my friends. im mtf i havent done any surgeries or hormons im poor so i just crossdress to express myself. and i havnt come out to my family they are against this kind of thing and very religous. when i went out as Dani and wore womens clouse for the first time it felt good. i need more trans friends.

I struggle all my life, I knew something was wrong when I was between 6 and 8 years of age. I tried to prove myself as a man by serving in the USMC and the 3 other branches of military service and plus I was married, raise 3 kids and don female clothing when ever chance I got. My Wife went along with it for 20 some odd years and she was the one that suggested I needed help.Well I went and got the I needed help and was proven I should be a female, I struggled for about 10 years with it. In mean time I dressed and lived as a female for that many years because I couldn't afford the surgery either. Well 2 years and 8 months ago I finally had the surgery done. My life is much better now and a lot happier with myself. I am now a female and feel wonderful, It the best thing I have ever done with my life and wouldn't change it one bit. The only thing I can say, go with your feelings and seek help.
If you have any other questions feel free to contact me by E-Mail
nertel1953@yahoo.com

I can empathize completely. I think people who aren’t trans probably don’t worry much about whether or not they are trans. Either way, you are beautiful as you are.