So here's the thing, you're going to have a couple of potential issues to consider with this. Assuming you leave, You are either going to have to fight for full custody of the kids, or pay child support. Child support is expensive as hell so fighting may be your main option. Unfortunately unless you get some kind of evidence of the abuse and her behavior proving her to be unfit is going to be difficult too. This is where what your lawyer says is useful. You will need to decide how you wish to handle that. You didn't list how old your son is, so I am not sure how much influence she is going to have over him. If hes very young then she could of course skew his views easily, if he is already say 12 then its much harder and he will still respect you if you explain whats going on. Of course its likely that at that age he already knows what is going on and why. Her little threat of jail, you quitting a job will not get you thrown in jail. If you assume that you quit all the jobs, she is now 100% without income for bills it seems. Worst case scenario, the kids get put in custody with the state and then into foster care. Fact is that whatever trouble you would get into she would as well in that instance. So she can say what she wants, unless there is something you've legitly done to break the law, she has nothing she can hold over you. Likewise she really couldn't cause you any issues with work or background or anything if you split anyhow unless she is still with you and is a criminal, or you have a criminal record.


To the most critical part. You do not deserve what she is doing, nor do you have to tolerate it. What she is doing is criminal and punishable with time behind bars. The trick is, often if you call the cops in a domestics case, unless you have a full on recording of everything that went on to defend yourself, as the "male" they are going to assume you are the threat and she is at risk. She does need to pay for her behavior and you need to record her behavior because she's going to do the same to the kids. You and the kids need to be gone from her pure and simple. You need evidence to back that. She deserves no explanation or words from you on why you are leaving, where you are going or any other information. So if you are going to go, I recommend you just go. Leaving her a note gives her something in your writing to alter to try to get you in trouble and face to face you could be in harms way. Just leave when shes unable to see it. If possible, get your stuff together, go to work and don't come home. Let the local authorities know that you were in an abusive situation (you don't have to give details) and you have left the house if you like that way if she calls a missing persons they aren't out looking for you, but just go. get what evidence you can to support yourself against her though.

I'm so sorry to hear about the situation that you are currently having to endure. I agree with WyndWytch about not leaving a note. Your wife sounds like the type that would attempt to manipulate that in some way to her own advantage. If the abuse is constant and ongoing then I would also recommend that you try to record some of her ramblings and abusive behavior for proof of what is going on. That way you will have legal leverage when it does come down to custody and simply defending yourself against whatever allegations she might bring against you. Let me tell you that you deserve more and you were made for a higher purpose. You have every right to be you and to be happy being you. I wish you all the very best in the future. Love and faith.

Gabrielle

My son is 16 yrs and I know I will have to pay child support, it's hard to get evidence against her when Im not allow to have a phone or being able to get on the Internet, a friend from work gave me one of her old phones so I can get on the Internet, but I have to leave it at work in case she goes through my things. I do have a photo of a busted up eye in my email because of one piece of garment was damp around the waist band, in which she shoved it in my face cuting my eye open . I take her good shopping and one of the girls at register asked me if I still at my job that she hasn't seen me , my wife started yell ok ng at me in the store ,was I fired I have I not been working and continues yelling are you going out wearing female clothing like a transvestite ? just to let u know I have checked with a lawyer only to find out that I have nothing against me, I told him everything she does to me , show ed him the photo, that I have to ask for everything, it took 3yrs just to get my hernia repaired, because she would say we will get evicted, it's clear to me that I am to her is a paycheck, photos of everyone on the walls except for me that are not in them, my daughters wedding pictures in whicheck I knew I w as in were deleted, Im a ghost to her until she needs something then I'm taken off the shelf, my anxiety is starting to slip, I'm loosing control

me personally, id open a separate bank account and then have my income switched there and if she don't like it tough crap, she has no access to it so she cant get it, as long as you are still paying your share that's legally all she can do. If you file the separation now that ends any share of your income she gets and let her end up on the street, its where she belongs. the kids can come live with you. be done with her and run that's my opinion, stick her with anything and everything you can so you are protected.