Hi! I came out as FTM (female to male) trans* a few years ago. I can tell you I was VERY unsure for a while. Eventually I found something that fit me better (subgender), but that doesn't mean that everyone who felt like me isn't trans. It is absolutely normal to be confused about all of this. Personally, I would have felt comfortable talking about it if I felt had control. Say that whenever they feel uncomfortable, you can stop, change to a different question, or take a break. Ask about what makes them feel unsure, and what they are sure about. Maybe have them represent how the feel on different spectrum of genders. Do some research. Find some genders that are similar and ask if any if the defining properties of the genders apply. It can help them find themselves, and you to understand. But don't rush it. If your child has just started feeling this way, they will be confused regardless. If it is a new feeling to them, give them a few weeks to think before trying to speak again. Just take it slow, and make them know have have some control.

Also, I praise you for your supportive parenting. many of us only dream of having it. Supportive parenting can do wonders for any child, but especially for comfort inside this community. Message me if you have any questions.

Ultimately the best way I think to talk to her is openly. Walking eggshells will make you uncomfortable and her uncomfortable. Listen to her, she needs to sort through her feelings as well and figure out where she is at. I would also recommend bringing up a therapist. The reason that I say that is, she is young and the earlier you can start a transition the better or at least stave off as much of puberty as you can for a bit. In order to do that she will need a therapist. The therapist will talk to her and help her sort through everything that is going on and help her find her way. It may be that she is andro, or any number of other spots on the gender spectrum, there is no telling, but the therapist will be able to help her on the way to wherever her path will go. For your part, you being willing to help her is a credit to how awesome a mom you are. She is lucky to have you as a parent. Listen to her, let her experience life and figure out her path. Teen years are a heck of a maze to navigate without the worry about your gender and all, in the end she may find she is just bi or something there is no telling. She will get here, but let her experience it and a therapist if she is willing to go.