Transgender Support Group
This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.
Hello everyone!
I need some advice with my girlfriend. We've been together for 5 years and recently she has come out to me as gender queer. I'm a lesbian. She has always been on the androgynous side, prefers men's clothing and haircuts. What has stunned me is that she wants to remove her breasts. They are very large and as she has become more comfortable with her new identity she is becoming less comfortable with her breasts. She's even toying with the idea of retiring from the gender binary. I love her more than I could ever describe but this has aroused some big fears in me. What if I don't find her attractive anymore? I find I'm in totally uncharted waters and I don't know what to say or do for fear of saying or doing wrong. It's already putting a strain on our sex life because she told me that she finds it very uncomfortable when I touch her breasts. I need advice. I think I'm fearing the unknown more than anything but still would like to hear from others with knowledge.
I need some advice with my girlfriend. We've been together for 5 years and recently she has come out to me as gender queer. I'm a lesbian. She has always been on the androgynous side, prefers men's clothing and haircuts. What has stunned me is that she wants to remove her breasts. They are very large and as she has become more comfortable with her new identity she is becoming less comfortable with her breasts. She's even toying with the idea of retiring from the gender binary. I love her more than I could ever describe but this has aroused some big fears in me. What if I don't find her attractive anymore? I find I'm in totally uncharted waters and I don't know what to say or do for fear of saying or doing wrong. It's already putting a strain on our sex life because she told me that she finds it very uncomfortable when I touch her breasts. I need advice. I think I'm fearing the unknown more than anything but still would like to hear from others with knowledge.
Even though I do not identify as gender queer, I am not entirely sold on the gender binary since after transition I still have my breasts and I'm not at all uncomfortable with my body or any parts of it, though they are those of a female and I have been on testosterone for decades.
That being said, your concerns are valid and I will not deny you that, however, your SO has every right to do what is needed to feel more comfortable, I would suggest that your SO pays a visit to a therapist who identifies with gender issues to see what is lurking behind that urge to change so drastically.
I can see how you being a lesbian may find the thought of your SO removing her breasts a rather unattractive proposal and it is understandable you would question your level of attraction towards your SO should that happen.
Do not worry about saying or doing anything wrong since this is new territory for you. Opening the kines of communication may be an option. Express your concerns in a clear manner, it should go well, I hope.
If there are any more questions,you can always send me a message,
Wolf (FTM since 1987)