March 2023

Monday, March 6, 2023

2:59 PM

March, sigh!! I keep asking myself what this month will bring me. At the end of February I got accepted to model in a fashion show in Philly in June. For stich II a fashion show for the LGBTQ+ community which is being held at the Fleisher Art Memorial. In the letter it states that their will be photographers attending taking photographs of the models and this will be a huge opportunity to get noticed. I am excited. I made the decision to inform merle on what I was doing at first it did not go well with her telling me what does she need to know what I do with my life but knowing her she will blow up my phone if and when one of our kids sees me on tv or magazines or billboard. But she later apologized for the way she acted but of course she mentioned about Arby's, I did tell her that I will be staying with Arby's just for the health insurance but I am going to have to find a different health insurance that handles Trans health care. I did touched base with Apex to find out when I will be receiving job offers and I was informed that I was suppose to call them up when I received my portfolio. I must have missed that memo somewhere. But I got schedule for Wed the 15th at 10am this way here I will be home to receive the conference call, I should get more information in my email on the instructions. In the mean time I do have the UPS Store getting the paper I need to get my Z-Card done. I am wondering what that will look like. So far in my opinion things are moving forward. As for Derick I think I will start a relationship with him. I know that I said that I will stick with woman but I feel something different about him and I will know when and if he shows up in person. Time will tell!! 

03/19/23

Well I am about to come up to that time for my first paid photo shoot, I did receive a cashier's check for $2000 for which I deposited into my account but one thing I just found out is that I can deposit any checks by taking a photo of it on my Capital one account which I never knew, I could have tried the 10K check that Derrick gave me but I guess it would have been better if I didn't know at that time. Of course I have to mention that I had issues sending money to the person that is doing my wardrobe. I was instructed to send it through Zella but every time I tried sending it was being sent back to me. But I had to use a different method by getting an Apple card for the 500. Now I am waiting for the rest of the check to clear and that will take place on Monday which will be the remaining 1500 I hope this time the person will have corrected the issue with Zella so I can forward the remaining balance to the wardrobe person who is designing my outfit for the shoot. Another door of opportunity came to light is another shoot in Lancaster County Pa. where this photographer wants to do a shoot on me and also some nude shots as well. I will help to land some business in the modeling some lingerie and maybe something else in an adult setting which will carry more pay in the process. I figure to do it now before I start looking not as young. As for work goes it is getting more stressful along with my living arrangements. I can't cook in the house anymore with out her slamming things and stomping around like a 2 year old and also opening windows. I am tired of eating nothing buy sandwiches but it makes wish I can have something made from Merle. I do miss her cooking sometimes. I am still going up to Pa. for my Therapy sessions every other week but this past week I had to have an emergency appointment with Dr. Douglas about my vagina spotting blood and seeing it all inflamed on the inside and around my clitoris's. She saw that it wasn't infected or anything but one thing I didn't tell her was the cause when I used Nair I got some inside me and that was the cause for it to be inflamed and of course spotting blood. But she told me to use Vaseline on it. Which reminds me I have to put some on To protect it. But while I was in doctor Douglas's office I went on her scale to find out my weight and to my surprise I weighed in at 136LBS not the 140 being read at the machine at Walmart. I was thrilled to see that but I want to go down a little more further like 130 so I can hit my goal. In the mean time I have to get an appointment to get my mri done to what is going on with my back and I am getting strained on paying my co-pay but is it worth putting it back on my car insurance?? Maybe it is! But my renewal is next month so I have then to decide. I am looking forward to the shoot coming up as March comes to a close. 

Well things have turned for the worse as I mentioned about the paid photoshoot was nothing but a scam with me losing out 500 and 646 on top of that that the bank froze both of my accounts due to the bounced cashiers check. How can a cashier's check bounce. So I told him that I will only accept a money order but then again they can fake that as well. This journey is I don't know if it was worth the aggravation. Or should I stick to it in hopes that everything will successful or should I just say good bye to everyone so I don't have to endure the depression of being hurt or depressed. I had hoped that this would be a good adventure for me but so far it hasn't and the month isn't over