okay so firstly... there is no real way to lower estrogen per say. you can have your ovaries surgically removed which will lower it but you will likely not find a doctor willing to do that to you at your age, it would be medically unethical for them to do so and thus there would be serious legal risk to them regardless of country. Generally all that is done is testosterone is given for those wishing to be male, estrogen is a recessive hormone meaning that testosterone expression will override the estrogens. This generally is administered by a doctor and is a shot you will get monthly I believe. I do have concerns with the terms you are using to describe yourself. Transgender generally means one to the other, where as agendered or androgynous would be for no gender or both genders or gender fluid. Asexual means no sexual desire toward either female or male, you basically aren't interested in it at all. so the terms are confusing. Its also concerning that a therapist with no background in treating gender issues is not already sending you to a gender specialist to begin with. this seems like a really poor medical practice and dangerous. They would be able to help you with the Dysphroic feelings if you were seeing one. That said, other than what you described is about all you can do. The fact is that you have to be comfortable with you, which you don't seem to be. You need to be able to deal with the fact that here and now you are as you are, but working towards the next step and you aren't okay with that. You need to be. Once you can handle that part of the whole experience it will make things a heck of a lot easier on you. This is a path that is going to take you quite a long time and has a substantial pricetag in most countries, but if you can focus on the work you are doing to get there and accept that you are how you are right now and move as you can its a lot easier. That's about all the help I can be. You really need a proper diagnosis and I have never heard of a "Trans" test, so I have a number of concerns, but things in Germany may be handled different than anywhere else. I don't know as I have never been there.

First of all, thanks for your answer. I feel like I have to clear things up a little bit: I'm not wanting to have surgery right now (also not in the near future) but I just wanted to know that there's a way to get rid of estrogen and I won't be stuck with something that I feel like doesn't belong into my body forever (that would make me feel very desperate). I know I need some time to be sure about what I want (especially regarding hormones or even surgery).

Maybe I used wrong terms regarding my genderidentity and sexuality. What I ment was that I feel neither female nor male and am now changing my apperance and behavior to a neither female nor male way and it makes me feel more comfortable (binding, lowering my voice so thats it's in between, cutting my hair short, wearing non femine feature stressing makeup etc.). I'm also not interested in sex nor am I attacted to anybody in that way BUT I can have an orgasm and my body can be horny (which makes me feel super uncomfortable and disphoric- even though I'm not sure if it is correct to use this word for this situation) which adds to my problems with my part female body.
For the 'test' part, that wasn't acually how the test was called and I actually have no idea what kind of test it is. So I will be asking my therapist about the points you mentioned and will ask her to send me to a gender therapist (in Germany you actually have to be send by a doctor because of the insurance-I don't know if it's the same anywhere else).
You're right about saying that I have to accept my body better before I try to change it. I hated my body ever since I entered puperty because of all the weird changes that happened to it. But hating my body for that reason was very unhealthy for me and didn't change anything at all. I now realize my body and mind are really split because I couldn't accept my body in the past few years. I want to "be on a team" with my body again and appreciate my body (it really went through a lot for me and never wanted to harm me I suppose). :-)

well there is no way that I know of non-medically to lower estrogen, and you should never eliminate it. Both men and women have Estrogen, Progesterone, and Testosterone in their bodies at all times, just at different levels. So to remove one would likely cause a massive amount of damage. To lower it, the only ways that I know would be to do testosterone, which if you got put on that would overpower the estrogen and its recommended you get a full hysterectomy a year or 2 later as it can cause certain risks with those parts. or have your ovaries removed, which again, depending there may be medical ethics issues. Me personally with the dysphoria area have the same issues as you. While I do have desire, I cannot stand to be touched in any way or use that bit in an act with another person. That said, it does not stop me from doing things and just keeping in my head that its the other bits and not what's actually there. The mind can do wonderful things if you just put it to work in the right ways :P that may help you some with the issues surrounding that part of life. In the USA its much the same, for like my hormone therapy, I had to be referred by my medical doctor to the other doctor to get insurance to pay for it, that said the first doctor did not try to muck around AT ALL they just sent me over. That's what's confusing me. In the case of mental health I choose one that accepts my insurance and I go. I don't have to have a medical doctor send me to one. You can do that, but you don't have to and again, generally the doctor isn't going to touch the mental health side. Sadly you are going to be stuck with your body for a long time, and believe me I understand the dysphoria and the hatred of your own body. I'm 40 and lived with that for 32 years. I refused to accept how I was and that it was ever going to change and it poisoned me on a severe level mentally. Once I decided it had to stop, and I said, okay I am going to deal with it, it helped immensely. Just being okay with being how I am and coming to terms with that it was okay to be me was major. I was able to live with it at that point. Sure I am working to a defined goal, but I have been doing so for 8 years and not felt rushed or anything because I am okay with who I am. Sure there are areas of my life I simply cannot participate in without vomiting and feeling absolutely horrid for several weeks, but that specific part isn't that important to me. In your case, theres nothing stoping you from being a man if you want to be. Being a man isn't all about the parts. Its as much a frame of mind. You can wear male clothing, change your hair, do all sorts of things to your look and body, but its the mind that will define you in the end. Be you, I think you will be able to me on a team with your body more that way ;)

I just spoke to my therapist and she referred me to a gender therapist (yaay). The downside to this is I have to come out to my parents in order to go there first. Now I have mentioned asexuality and being agender to my parents before and they reacted nice and were accepting and said they didn't know to much about those kind of things. But I know their reaction could be a whole lot different whenever I will be talking about myself. Also I have no idea how to tell them. At least I have a lot of time and don't have to rush at all so I'll just take my time until I feel more comfortable talking about it and in the meantime I'll just work on myself and my relationship with my body and get more cofortable in my own skin:). Thanks so much for all your help it's really appreciated you really help me a lot :)

You're welcome, if you don't mind me asking, why do you have to come out to them first? Is there like some huge sign that tells them you are going to a gender therapist and not just some other type of therapist? Ultimately if they were fine with it from the outside I think they will be with it coming from you. There will be a moment of shock and all that will go around with the revelation, but that will resolve in time. I think if you do need to come out to them, it will probably go well enough.

First of all, I´m better now. I am FtM transgender with a little bit nonbinary in there (like 20%). I didn´t write in all this time because I promised myself I wouldn´t post anything until I had a gender therapist appointment(I always need a push to get me going and not resign out of fear.) Which didn´t go as fast as I thought. I phoned a dozen therapists in my area but none of them had any free space in their schedule for me. Then I went to see a specialist and she referred me to another gender therapist who is also specialised to treat Teenagers. I got to talk to him on the phone and not only did he seem really nice and accepting+understanding, but he also potentially has time for me!! So now I´ll be seeing him in the new year and I hope I´ll all go well and I´ll be able to get therapy with him. Also I came out to my family which didn´t go well. They weren´t aggressive about it in any way and didnt kick me out or anything but they don´t repect me at all, never used my real name and just think it´s a phase and wait for it to be over. At least my dad took me kind of seriously and we could agree on a gender neutral name, which is a huge relief for me. I also told my mum to not call me my birthname which she respects but she also doesn´t respect any other name so she just doesn´t call me by any name. I think it will get better over time though. Any tips on how to explain transgender to parents in a language they understand?