I just replied to someone about this... It is perception. We can draw a picture and show it to 1000 people and someone isn't going to like it. We can say then there is no point to drawing a picture because it's just going to be hated, but the reality is that not everyone hated it. There are always going to be jerks in the world, that is fact, being trans or not, everyone deals with jerks every day. Has nothing to do with your body, though I admit it is the way they poke, because a jerk is a jerk. Someone outs you, try to figure out or maybe even as how they came up with that and then try to fix that part. Just because something bad happens doesn't mean it has to be bad or stay bad. Most times it can be turned around to your advantage.

Sami,

Windy has a great point and I will add to it. I saw your profile and noticed you refer to your body as a meatbag.

I have a serious issue with that. I used to feel the same way, my body was born female but my mind male and I hated it. That is until I realized that even if I were to remove some things or alter it some way, it would still be the same body I was born with. I was not going to get... let's pretend I am game show host and you are contestant ... Drum roll... A brand new body....

So I had to make a decision, it was either I learnt to love my body as imperfect as I thought it was or I'd be miserable for the rest of my days. I was 30 at the time.

Guess what? Years after the work, I ended up deciding that I was not going to get SRS or a mastectomy, for me looking male was enough, I did get a hysterectomy because after years on testosterone, it is advisable to get it done to prevent ovarian cancer.

However my body hatred did cause me to end up getting the worst endometriosis and the worst case of uterine fibroids ever seen by my gynecologist. All that energy has to go somewhere, right?

So there you have it, i am now in my mid 50's and happy and my body is as perfectly imperfect as ever and I love it. If anyone says anything disparaging about it, they do not get to say it again.

My two rubles' worth,
Wolf

I don't know all aspect of you childhood to adult hood, but for me I had a very poor self image and never felt I could be the girl I always wanted to be. What desires are in the heart can't always be seen by others on the outside. My self image my be that of a woman and always hate looking in the mirror at the big bumb gorilla looking back at me. I would much rather be an ugley woman than a hot good looking guy. When playing video games with my friends I would always pick the female avatars and I would always get asked why do you pick the girls for? I couldn't tell them I really want to be a woman, but I bet I could have and they still wouldn't belive me. I some ways you will have to find some peace with who you are but the truth is that the desire never went away for me it just manifested in other ways like playing online games as a female, even with my wife standing over me and wanting me to make a male character, I couldn't do it. She has only known of my gender dysphoria for only over 2 months now. Then she thought I was getting my jollies with my online porn, which this was not the case. As with being trapped in the wrong body, things are not always what they seem. The most important is that you are happy with who you are and are able to find some peace with it, no matter what other people think. No matter what is really going on inside or in your life people creat thier own ideas and conclusions and in my case they usually are off the mark. Good Luck :-)

Hey some real good reading there and I know youve all replied to try and help and I cant begin to say how much i appreciate that.

I think tho Ive perhaps misled you although that makes no difference cos weve got some top advice there on screen that will sure help and I now know how much you ppl care and strive to help and thats massive for me.

My 'thought' wasnt a reflection of where I am now as a person, more a generalisation to sum up the frustrations Ive (and am I too presumptious to think others?) felt as I traversed this journey thats brought me the enlightenment I didnt possess back then in those days of frustration.

Thought it might make a good badge or something just to show those 'jerks' some of what we (or at least I) have to go thru to get where we're going... kinda like they ask why? how can u feel like this? and this is saying this is why and Ive a million more besides!

Anywayz love you all

Sami xxx