I will likely get some flack for this but I will say it up front.... there is no such thing as "becoming a woman" or "Wanting to be one". You either are or are not... period. Either you have as a transgendered person known your whole life that you weren't a boy, or you were born a cis girl. Ultimately you know full well what you are so there is no becoming anything (explanation at the end). Now if you mean you want to transition that is a different story.

That will require you to find a therapist, A mental health professional, preferably one who deals with this specific thing. A simple google search can give you some starting off points form there. Psychology today has a decent list of practicing therapists so you can look there as well and it will likely be in the top of the google searches.

Once you have your therapist then you and your therapist will figure out what steps to take and when to take them from there. Some of the things you will deal with are HRT, Legal matters (changing your identity), what used to be called the real life test (living a year in the desired gender full time), and lastly surgery. Surgery can and may require 1 letter for breast implants, and generally will require 2 letters one of which MUST come from a full psychiatrist according to the standards of care.

The absolute fastest you will be able to do this is 1 year. I don't know where you live so I cannot say how much help you will get. Some countries such as Canada and Ireland will cover it all under their unified insurance. Here in the USA you are pretty well on your own on paying for everything that has to do with it. So you need to take this into consideration.

You will also need to study and study hard on makeup, hair styles, clothing styles, your sizes, so on. You need to be able to dress appropriate to you (body type and age), and be able to do your makeup properly. Part of the adventure is learning this as for any woman, what looks good on one doesn't always look good on the next. For this I suggest that once you have come out to people (required for transitioning) get some of the females you came out to who are cool with it to help you pick things out and help you. Remember they have been doing it their whole life, use that knowledge if you can.

Last item but not least, you need to learn to accept you. Your statement above shows that you are not. You have to remember that hormones are not going to change bone, they won't change voice they won't change life. Largely you will be staring at the same person in the mirror pre or post transition. So if you cannot look in the mirror now and see the woman inside, then you need to get in touch with that. Your therapist can help you there. Transition does not erase your past or alter who you are to such an extent that it is a new life. It is a sharp turn on the one you have. You are still going to have the parents you had and the body you had (all be it altered medically in the end), and still have the mind and spirit you have now. So if you cannot afford to do the therapy and everything else that will come along with it, I seriously suggest starting there. If you can learn to be comfortable with who you are through and through, it will make things a great deal more bearable and allow you to get through what we have to go through.

Hopefully this helped you in some way. I highly encourage you to find a therapist though if you can afford it. they can help you with most any aspect you may be dealing with, not just this one item. find one you like and go.

I am early in my transition, and would like to find a therapist to help me to learn about my inner self. I am also on SSI and don't have a lot of
money to spend on therapy. Do you have any suggestions on how to find a Transgender therapist?

Psychology today generally has a decent list. Just google "transgender therapists City State" where city and state are where you live. Since you are on SSI I am guessing you are on medicare/cade, and they have just started covering some transgender items under insurance so you will have to discuss it with the insurance and person you see, but it may in part or all be covered.

No flack zone-valid point. This is my terminology for things-male-gender. Man-male gender + genetic male body. Female-gender. Woman-female gender + genetic female body. I am female gender, housed in genetic male body. As I define it, I can never be a "woman". I can only resolve the matter. Two words-TIME and PATIENCE.

It sounds like you have "tapping" in your awareness. Some "you and your feelings/sense of direction" gentle guiding are right as things crystallize. Involvement of a "light on the reins" therapist seems wise. All best,
Binarystar

I see myself as a woman. I may not have the genetics of a woman. But dammit I had to work harder to have tits and a vagina. Women take both for granted because they were born with both. Say what you want, don't care.

I couldn't agree more with shift, i am a pre hormone mtf transgender, i am sixteen and i have seen myself as a girl for as long as i can remember, the only time i ever questioned that i was a girl was when i learned of the genital difference, even then i thought puberty would change that, but it didn't. But as your the start; a therapist, who will help you through depression and anything else you m may need help with before they will willingly let you on hormones,
Astryd