I know exactly how you feel. For me, I'm 46, jobless, in school, and in a sexless relationship with my partner for the past 21 years (he's a man to). Part of me has always always known that she was there in my ear whispering. But, growing up I was needlessly scared telling my family my truth. And me being petrified even in the slightest of disappointing my mom it paralyzed me saying it out loud. So like a lot of us you just push it way down to the point that it's almost not there and your not you anymore. So Like you, Should I even at this age? It's not like I have Caitlin Jenner money. I dunno....

i transitioned at 67 on HRT, At 45 your very safe, make sure you do it right to be safe do it with doctor monitored HRT with prescribed hormones. its never safe to self medicate when your dealing with hormones. your at a very good age to do it if your healthy and dont have hyper tension, transitioning can almost be done at any age once you reach puberty. the only issues that estrogen has is it can cause strokes from blood clots but if a doctor monitors you your fairly safe, thats why self medicating can be dangerous. transitioning is quite safe, just stay out of red neck and biker bars. otherwise i have never been mistreated ever as a trans woman,but i pass very well and some times i dress as a transgender, meaning its quite clear im trans, and dont worry if people know this. never ever been insulted or degraded because im trans. its a way of life for me i always am a woman never dress as a man in over a year. one i went on HRT i dress as a woman 24/7 and my gender name became Annie,, which every one calls me except my old friends which i allow to use my old legal name.if you have little womans stuff it can be expensive to stock up on cosmetics and clothing and jewery , and shoes and under garments, but as a woman you will find its quite enjoyable to shop,, thats why women shop so much.

Sthrnbound .. how much do you think it will cost ? I do not think it's too expensive

AnnieToman .. hormones work well at 60s ?
Is true the hormone will change your desire ?

I'm 36, born a male but have known since at least 7 years old Im a female inside. Up until yesterday no one has ever known. I'm still in the closet completely except for two good lesbian friends that I finally opened up to. I have to say keeping this secret all these years I feel a little relief knowing that there is another human being I can finally talk to about it. I think you have to do what you're comfortable doing and be strong. I'm married to a woman and have 3 daughters... I am attracted to both men and women but not to my wife.
Like you said it's sooo freakin hard pushing this down to where you're not even you. I don't know if I ever could come out about it. I live in a conservative redneck area and gays are barely accepted let alone would me, a woman trapped in a biological man's body who is a lesbian. If I had a different life and alot more money I would make the change in a heartbeat. I hope your journey ends happily.

oh yes, hormones will change you at any age, It's just that when you get older your level of HGH IS LOWER so you need to boost it. SERO VITAL can do this. But where the biggest changes happen is in your brain, it goes through a complete rewiring. i now am much much different inside. I no longer have thoughts and urges of a man. how you see things is much different, you think less and feel more, your feelings has a lot of influence on how you think also. you love easier and much deeper, my compassion is more also. so the biggest changes you feel, not what is seen. but still at 67, my body went through a ton of changes, went from near 168 lbs to about 133lbs now, dropped a lot of muscle mass, my chest even got smaller, have some shape now. so you asked what a 67 year old experiences, look at my avitar and see thats me now . that picture is after almost a year on hormones. taken two months ago. do i look 67?