Transgender Support Group

This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.

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Moon.Lit.Dude 09/10/2018

Hey! I'm a 13-year-old trans man, and I need help coming out to my mom. I have a lot of things planned in the future with me relying on her not being mad at me or heartbroken. My mom isn't homophobic but she's not supportive either. I just need help coming out. I'm currently writing a letter that I might post on here later but I honestly do not know what to do!!! PLEASE HELP

girlwithnoname66 09/11/2018

First of all I want to tell you that you are very brave to try and address this at a young age. I am a transgender woman who bottled it up for over 50 years. I am guessing how you proceed is going to be based on your relationship with your mother. Do you trust her? Has she ever given you cause to doubt that she wouldn’t listen to you and evaluate this rationally? If you feel safe talking to her then I would suggest being open and honest with her. Take it slow and ask her to help you get some counseling from a therapist. Getting in front of a therapist is going to be vital. I wish you everything good for your future. Please let us know how things go? We are here for you. Love and faith.

GWNN

brojin 09/11/2018

I am also a transgender man. I figured out my identity when I was in my freshman year of high school, and I came out to my parents in my junior year of high school. I remember it was very stressful. (I'm in my late thirties now.) It was difficult for them to accept at first, but they were very supportive. I transitioned in my senior year of high school.

A parent's reaction can depend on a lot of things:
- whether they already sense that you might have some kind of LGBT identity (that is, whether it's a complete surprise to them when you come out)
- whether they feel that they have support/information for themselves (their own therapist, or a close friend or family member they confide in, or good books and videos that speak to them and make sense to them)
- whether they feel they can actually help with whatever concrete steps you may want to take (for example, if you want to come out at school, or start hormones and have surgery)

Remember, you can't control all these things! Your mom will have her own feelings and her own process. You might not immediately get the response you're hoping for. You can't control her response. It's not your fault if she reacts negatively or needs time to absorb the information.

Your job is to be you, and stay fabulous! Transgender identity--and gender transition, if that's what you want to do--is a lifelong journey. There's a lot of tough bumps in the road. That's the way it is. It is doable. You can get through the bumps. Good for you for reaching out.

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