Transgender Support Group
This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.
andreapuff
Hello, I'm an 18 yo transgender girl. I haven't have surgery yet. I live in a homophobic country so I can't be open about my identity yet. Its ok because I can transition after I have a job. But I always have this problem where I really can't talk normally to guys. Its bothering me so much. The boys thought I'm haughty when I'm just shy. I talk to girls just fine and feel normal. I'm about to move to a university dorm. I'm afraid I can't make many friends there as I haven't open my identity yet. What do you think I should do? Thanks
WyndWytch
Why do you have to? Unless you are taking the people to bed, who cares about the rest? Friends are Friends, a man is no different than a woman in that aspect save for maybe some boons of testosterone (having more muscle generally). If you are worried about making friends, go make friends with the girls, who cares about the dorm? Ultimately being in a dorm your situation does not change that greatly save for you may be living with someone else depending on the school. The only thing that is honestly changing is that you are living somewhere else. So go talk to the girls. Go talk to the guys they are no different as friends than the girls aside from the topics they are likely to discuss. Unless you are hunting for a mate, gender, sex, preference, not a bit of that matters.
andreapuff
Thanks for the answer, but here is the problem. The guys were talking to me as if I am one of the guys. I'm still in the closet. I can't really express my feminism because I live in homophobic country. They think I'm weird because I don't talk about girls or soccer. I also don't like guys way of relationship through rough approachment. In the other hands, i talk to girls just fine, though i don't like when they think I'm a straight boy, but i can always act my true self to them
WyndWytch
Unfortunately until you do come out, and can express it, people are going to treat you based on the shell you are in. That won't change anytime soon anywhere in the world. So again your situation has not changed from the state it has been all your life, What does the fact you are moving to a dorm matter? I understand the idea that it is uncomfortable and you may not like it, but until you choose to express something else, the hiding it is reinforcing them doing it. So the real question is, IS it worth dealing with whatever will be the fallout of coming out or not? That is the ONLY question. From the sounds of things it is probably best to wait, so once again the situation has not changed from the situation you have been in all your life. That means there is absolutely nothing to do about it but wait, focus on school, do well and get the heck out :P As you said, once you can do that and get a job you are free to do as you will. Focus on that and stop worrying about how uncomfortable it is right now. Stubbing your toe on the side of the bed sucks, but we don't take a day of work and not walk all day because of it. Sure them treating you like that sucks, but at the end of the day, you gotta do it and get through it. Your only other option is to risk the fallout and do it now.
WyndWytch
I did want to add to mine. You can get through this, it is just a short amount of time. So if you don't believe you can transition now, you will be able to in no time. In the end it will be okay, just takes time.
andreapuff
Yes I sure will. I probably can even come out a lil bit to some close friends if they aren't homophobes. Thanks for the advise!
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