Transgender Support Group
This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.
I am 35 years old and have felt "different" since i can remember. When i was very young i thought i should be a boy not a girl. As I got older I didnt know whether I was supposed to be a boy or a girl but I somehow knew it wasnt right to feel that way and be unsure and I have kept my feelings secret up until very recently when I started talking to a therapist and it has all got really present. It has haunted me through my whole life but I have tried to push it away. Recently I have tried finding books or stuff about people who feel like i do but havent been able to. Everyone seems sure that they are either man or woman and whether transgender or not. I feel like I dont know what it feels like to be either - I dont feel like i am a woman but i dont feel I want to become a man either because I dont know what that is or what being a man is like either. Dont know if this makes sense. The whole gender things seems so binary that i should either feel like a man or a woman, know that is what I feel like and if that is not what I physically am then I would be transgender. Everyone seems so sure of what they are and I am not sure at all. I dont feel like I have a gender at all. That would be fine if I felt ok with that but I dont, it is the most terrible thing to feel. It is like I cant exist as a real person if I dont have this piece of identity which is missing. I dont know how to talk about it because all the language for this is binary - men/women, male/female etc - and if you dont know how you fit into that how do you talk about the ambiguity, there is no words for it and no way of knowing if the person you are trying to communicate with understands because they know what it feels like to be man/woman so how can they understand about not knowing when the language you have to explain is so inadequate and there are no common frames of reference to use. Are their other people who don't feel sure or who started out that way and how do i find out about them. I really need help and am so lonely with it because I dont know anyone who really understands.
~Serena
I am a part of the TG, Gay, and Bisexual communities because I don't fit, exactly, into any of them...
This morning I took one of those online tests and the results said I was a 'Type 3 - Androgynous'. Online tests are what you take them for...but the concept seemed pretty solid. We live outside the binary concepts of male/female...but since we live in a duel-gender world, we find it VERY difficult to communicate this.
*Laughs* Which is exactly what is giving me trouble telling you that I think I understand...because I have the same thing happening with me.
I haven't found an answer yet...but the people on this site are amazingly supportive and thoughtful. You're in the right place to meet people like us.
Please do not ever feel as if you are alone. You have no idea how many people either feel the same way or have felt this way. It is quite common for a T.S to go through life feeling like this. Many I.S and hermaphrodites feel the same.
People who transition can go through stages where they feel they are not male enough to be a man and not female enough to be a girl. It passes eventually.
There are so many reasons why you feel this way. I mean it ranges from how you were brought up to your current hormone level. So many things can play a big part in feeling like this.
There are tons of yahoo groups filled with people who feel the same way. You need NOT ever feel you are alone.
Write me any time. If you want material for reading let me know. I can point you in the right direction.
Just do not ever shut your self out. You are loved and have more friends then you know and I will even say who even understand how you feel.
Maybe over the next few days I will post some stuff in my journal section.
Any way please do not be a stranger!
Hugs
Jami