Transgender Support Group

This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.

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/ Transgender Support Group

I don't know what I want anymore

CloieL1996
CloieL1996
I haven't posted in a while, but I need some help. For over a year all I have wanted is to be a girl, but I started coming out to some people, went to a therapist, and met some other trans girls. Lately I don't know what I want. Some days I wake up and I feel like a "normal" guy. Some days I wake up and want to be a "normal" girl. The next day I'm happy being a gay male, and the next I am a lesbian. I'm so confused. I love wearing women's clothing, but I'm ok with staying male (sometimes). Some girls I am sexually attracted to, and others I envy and I am jealous of what they have. Its the same with guys. I don't know what to do. I haven't been able to go to my therapist for over 2 months because I wrecked my truck and haven't been able to afford anything. Has anyone else gone through this?

Thanks,
Cloie
marshalouise
marshalouise
I know exactly how you feel! I came out to my wife over 20 yrs ago before we got married, but suppressed those feelings for all that time. Just recently, a few weeks ago, I told her that I have been really struggling with it again and now that I am about to retire from the military, I feel ready to make the change. She is very, very supportive but I just dont know. One day I think its time, then the next I think maybe it isn't. I haven't gotten to talk to a therapist yet, none in my town that say they deal with gender issues, so I guess it is natural! I am glad I am not the only one that thinks like I do. I wear a bra every night to bed and wear panties most of the time and it makes me feel so good. My wife even helped me with makeup last night and) got dressed up as me and it felt GREAT! I know I didnt give you any advice, but at least I know I am not the only one that feels this way.
melinda68
melinda68
Maybe just take some time to search your feelings, get to your therapist and talk things out. You will have feelings going back and forth. Once you start on the path of transition it can feel like there is no turning back. There are some benifits on both sides of the gender coin, and even if you go all the way and are a girl you can still be what ever you want to be. Hopefully you can be comfortable with who you are and hope things work out for you:) It always feels like a constant battle between the woman in me and the man I am. Some how we come together in a lot of ways too, to make the person I am. Hope you find some balance and are able to be happy with who you are.:)
PokemonKid
PokemonKid
Gender is a tricky thing. But I agree with talking things out through therapy. Too bad you can't afford it, though. I understand that feeling. Whenever you are able to pay for it again I would suggest finding a good, open minded, therapist. They can help you find acceptance in yourself regardless of what gender you are.
The thing is, gender isn't black and white. There is a whole gray scale. When you're young finding yourself is scary, but even scarier when it comes to gender due to acceptance from others. But the most important thing is learning to accept YOURSELF no matter what gender you are. You are a human being who is valuable and nothing changes that.