Transgender Support Group

This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.

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Candisou 04/03/2017

I've been having this identity crisis since I was eight. I've lied before that I was a boy, i cried (when I was little) about wanting to be a boy, I've dressed as a boy, acted like one, and I even fall into the masculine category. Four years later, it's only gotten worse. I've tried laying hints that I really am a boy. But I'm sure no one notices and think it's just a phase. I absolutely hate it. I want to tell my parents, but I'm scared of how they'll react or even if they'll accept me. And how this will affect my future self. Paranoia always stops me from being who I really am. I just want some hints on how I should handle this

WyndWytch 04/03/2017

You haven't listed an age range or living situation so I am going to have to be VERY generic. First thing is first. Therapist. Ultimately end of the day you are going to need one. The provide the documentation for anything you may wish to do down the road. So find one. Psychology Today has a pretty decent list of therapists. Second is, be you. We live in a society where women can pretty much look how they want and get away with it. This means you can wade through everything without much of a wave. You can cut your hair how you want, wear mens clothing and all without anyone taking notice. As far as family and friends, you are going to have to spell it out for them. They are less likely to get hints. People look through a bubble at the real world. that bubble is their perception of the world around them. Real or not they will completely disregard anything that don't fit the bubble. So you are going to have to give them a kick in the complacency in order to get them to see. How this will go, I cant say. What I can say is you know the people involved. You have to have some inside gut instincts on how it may end up. If you need assurance, there's enough news regarding LGBT you can use it as a conversation with them and if they ask hostile then ask "so if I was in that group then....", if they change their tune then tell them, if not then just go as things were if you choose. Often people will act hostile until its on their front doorstep. then they change their tune. The last bit is the hardest of all. End of the day, you need to learn to get comfortable with you. What I mean is, you need to be okay with you being how you are. No I don't mean you have accept you are born in the wrong body, what I mean is you have to accept you are trans. You are on a path and over time changes are going to come. Doing that and truly being okay with being able to present yourself as much as you can until you can do more will lift a great amount of weight and emotional distress from you. Best part is you don't have to tell anyone a thing. You cut your hair, look how you want to look and behave how you want. from there, if they accept you at that point then whats the rest matter? It will be a shock to them but you are the person you always have been to them then. Hopefully this is of help, not sure if it is or not, but best I can do

Candisou 04/03/2017

Good god, thank you so much. Perhaps one of the most helpful and well thought out things ive ever received

WyndWytch 04/13/2017

glad it was helpful and I hope it goes great for you, I really do. its not easy by any means, but there are things we can make it a bit more pleasant as we go.

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