Transgender Support Group
This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.
I need some advice about how to come to terms about you being transgender( F2M). I felt like this for along time and all my life I been afraid of judgement and now its back again and I'm having a hard time just accepting it, what can I do?
Provided that you have been properly diagnosed by a qualified therapist, i have the following nuggets to offer.
This is one of the instances in life that while it seems hard, it is actually very simple. Yet, in order to work out, we need to let go of fear.
It is like anything else we find out about ourselves. Accepting being transgender entails being at peace with the situaton and everything that may transpire because of it, knowing that is it the correct path to follow.
It is entails accepting our bodies as they are right now knowing that while we may dislike some aspects of it, hate is not the proper attitude, In time we may seek to tweak it or not but we learn to care for it and love as it is, knowing that it is indeed the only body we have. Like it or not, we do not get a new one.
It entails learning to love ourselves exactly as we are, right now. There is absolutely no reason to hate ourselves, we may not like where we are on the path yet hatred is not the answer, this is not some cosmic joke, it happened for you not to you.
It happened because this is the road you are to follow, to learn the things you would not have learned otherwise. Furthermore, if you did not need it for your journey, it would not have happened.
So what can you do? Love yourself, your new path and the process. Learn from it, here you have an opportunity to do something most people do not get to do, be able to live as 2 genders, this gives you an insight into the absurd societal rules so you can choose what kind of person you want to be.
The best part in my opinion is that once you are at peace with the whole enchilada, you get to decide whether to spend $50,000 on phalloplasty or a down payment on a house, depending on how accepting you are about your path. If you walk it and learn that your identity has nothing to do with external appearances, but how you see yourself. You save yourself a lot of grief.
You will learn something nifty called the ability to adjust, this is important because the male world is harsh and at times cruel, not for the faint hearted. So assimilation is not something you want but being able to adapt yet remain true to yourself is something worth learning.
Hope this helps,
Wolf (FTM since 1987)