there is no how to, its just kinda a do. You come out and say it. You will not be able to control how those around you react. So you have to make the choice whether your well being and mental state is more important to you and be ready for all possible outcomes. What they do is all on them and i wish i could say with certainty that it won't go negatively but i can't. So for that it will be up to you to decide the whens, wheres and hows. I am sorry that this is little help, but it isn't something that has a set in stone answer.

It's really important to weight the pros and cons. I'm a Christian too and haven't come out specifically because my family is incredibly fundamental and would not accept me. It's always a possibility that you could be disowned and if you are not at a point in your life where you can live on your own that could be very dangerous for you and possibly end in homelessness. You need to weigh if coming out is important enough to you that being disowned is worth the risk.

If you do decide coming out is what you want or need to do, the only help I can offer you is ways of phrasing that may be helpful with Christian parents, though they may still reject it. You can relate it to the fall, such as things like children born with autism or heart defects are not God's plan but are not a mistake God made either, so there can also be children who are born into the wrong gender and it is not a mistake God made, just a product of the fall. Not everyone will accept this but it may be helpful. Research into the science behind gender identity may also be helpful if your parents are not the type who reject science.

Best of luck in whatever you decide to do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9fNzOS4g8c
I hope this helps you.
Rhonda

Ross,

When I chose to transition, I told no one, it was no one's business but my own. I did have to tell my family because they lived overseas because my voice had changed. My father was not happy with it but my sister and mother took them 15 years to adjust to the idea. Not once where they abusive or preachy but it was hard for them because they had the idea that I was a female for 30 years.

The lesbian community ousted me and the gay community were no help either. Never mind the FTM community, so I transitioned alone at a time when transgender was not even word and I was the first out FTM in the community.

I have said that announcing transition plans is the best way to cleam house. Those who truly love you will stand by you and those who have their own agenda will leave. Let them go

You do not say how old you are, if you are still dependent on your parents, I would hold out on both anouncements or plans to transition until you are financially independent so if they do disown you,.you will only have to deal with the emotional aspect of the rejection

Also before anything, you should go to a therapist who specializes in gender issues so that you know for sure that you are indeed transgender and it will be useful to keep that therapist if you choose to transition because it will be far more difficult on you emotionally without one.

Lastly a question: if you family are such religious zealots, then would you not rather consider their disowning you their gift to you? Who needs to hear lies said about them? And you never know people may surprise you. I came out to a very God fearing woman and not only did she not reject me but she became family to me. So if one family rejects you for being you,.you can build your own family.

Best of luck,
Wolf (ftm since 1987)

I'm 61, Christian, transmale. Patience. Don't lose the joy of realizing who are. There's a lot of us out here and you are not in this alone.

We're genetic manifestations of that little event called The Fall, when Adam and Eve screwed up in the Garden. Christian/religious folks with even a cursory knowledge should be on board with this-we're really victims but we are choosing not to BEHAVE like victims.

And we will NOT! We are looking this issue right in the eye and we are not going to blink. The details will work themselves out, bnut the hardest part has done-internally embracing who we each are realizing ourselves to be.

Binarystar

I grew up in a Christian family. I still came out at age 16. Most of my family doesn't accept me. My brother told my mother (RIP) to beat my ass and make me be a guy, one cousin wants to kick my ass, some are supportive. My mom came around and died trying to get me on hormones. My dad is a contradictory person, he tries to use female pronouns and such, but yet said he doesn't approve of me having SRS after I am laid up in the hospital 2/3 done with the procedure because I had tachycardia mid-surgery.

Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter. I am going on 25, and have been postop for 2 years, this coming Saturday. I can never make others happy unless I can make myself happy. Same with you and everyone else. I knew I stood a possibility of being disowned/kicked out, but having Asperger's my brain has a defensive wiring, where I can deal with life's bs no matter how bad.

And no I don't identify Christian, because I have been on the bad end of the stick with Christians. Either I get mentally harassed by my principal, a noose hung on my dad's truck, or just the fact I lived in a southern baptist bible belt, and read people going online to a forum saying I should die and what not. Sorry but there are evil Christians in this world, and it seems there are more evil Christians than good ones, at least where I grew up. I am Wiccan by choice. "An it harm none, do as ye will." is my philosophy for life, as well as "what you give out, you get back threefold."

Don't let what others think or do affect you as a person. If I needed my dad's approval of SRS I would still be in the closet miserable and bitter to the world. Sorry but you gotta love yourself before others can love you, make yourself happy before others will be happy for you.

I am Mtf and grew-up in the Bible belt. I have always felt that I was different my whole life. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out who I was on the inside. that God made me this way and that he doesn't make mistakes. I found that the key is to love yourself and know who you really are and not to let Society mold you into who they want you to be.
I was really scared when I came out to my family in Texas. To my surprise, members of my family gave me some presents to help me along with my transition. this something that I never expected, but realized that they Loved me for whoever I am.
I got a lot of strength going to a Transgender Community Center. I hope that this will be helpful to you.

whish i had advise and also am a christian at sixty i have given up was not born into a good situation , and i am sure the therapistt would want to say it was the sexual abuse,, well if that ws true seems like all abuse survivors would want a sex hange, i have never ever felt supported,, as igrow up bak in the day just supposed to do the right thing nature nurture will never know i know i feel and have felt ,,, most of my life i am hiding,, and fhe repression ends up as a femaile with eating disorder depression whiih i am sure is the rage ,, of not being my real self or allowed to be , i suggest counseling support, and tons of oourage if this is who you are ,, do it ,, for yourself your sanity, your best interest,, and for all those who will die in the closet of FTM seems no offense much more aceptable to be MTF it is everywhere i look hard to find support for FTM other than chaz bono, i am here for you if it helps,,,, Sheila aka Eric

I just came out as a transgender, but I knew who I could trust with this secret. I don't know if this will help, but writing a letter to someone was the way I started. I'm a Christian as well and I don't think they should be so judgmental and it's sad that they are. God knows who you are and loves you for who you are, dispite what others may think. I had been ousted by my family in the past, but family should always love and support you no matter what. I just hope things work out for you. and hope you can tell some one. It was hard on me keeping my secret bottle up inside all those years. Take care:)

Hey Ross,
Don't know if I have a lot to add to all the advise but I'm from a Christian family and I am really involved in the church, ironically I work at one actually. Its hard to get people to understand, especially when you throw religion in there. If your family isn't open to it, then you probably won't be able to MAKE them understand, that doesn't mean they won't come around or can't understand. They have to come to the understanding that God (or whomever you believe in) made you the way you are, and he loves you. Thats a huge adjustment for some people. Give them time, and talk to them in an understanding way. If it comes to the point that you really feel they can't understand, then theres your answer as crappy as it may be. You have to come out, meaning be yourself, regardless of how they feel.
Like many people have said, you loose a lot of good people in your life just trying to be yourself sometimes. Its silly, but its life. My therapist said that sometimes its more important to surrender to the things you can't change rather than fight it all the way. I find that to be very true, take comfort in the fact that something higher is in control of all this. You can't change how your family feels, but you can do your best to help them understand, and thats all you can do sometimes.
Hope this helps, feel free to message me if you need anything. If you have the time this book gives a great perspective on transgender and religion, and its a good book in general.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1105547191/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Best Wishes,
Holly

I am the child of two pastors. My mom and dad both raised me in the church. I was scared to tell my parents that I was born the wrong gender, but to my surprise my mom told me she accepts me and so does God. She told me it was my own personal walk with God and nothing anyone says can change that. She just wants to see me happy and healthy.
What she says is true. It's your walk with God and he said he would never leave or forsake us. Even if people in our life don't give us support he is there. Because your gender doesn't matter, it's your spirit that matters. God will be there for you whether you're male or female.
Be prepared to not be understood. When people don't understand something they may try to lash out. But there is no easy way to come out. You just have to be prepared for any reaction they may have. I don't know how dependent you are on your family, but it may be best to come out after you don't have to depend on them as much for money, housing, and so on. Though, I understand wanting to tell them honestly. You want to share your life with them and that is understandable. I really hope the best for you.