Transgender Support Group
This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.
So i have recently figured out through several means that I am very much trans mainly through the consistency of my panic attacks these days based around my body being male. I am 25 was born male and cant stand it anymore. I have bee repressing my feeling for about 14 years at this point even after having come out to my mom when I was 13. I went to a gender therapist once but i became conflicted because of my dad. I stopped back then because I was scared my dad would literaly end my life if he ever found out that I was trans. I have regretted not starting to transition back then ever since. Now the plot thickens even more, since then i have dated women, since that is who i have been drawn to the most, and i am in a serious relationship with a girl that i know is transphobic and it bugs the shit out of me every time i hear something from her. Also because i was scared of my dad finding out, i hypermasculinised myself to please him because im his first born. I would love it if someone could help me to know how to proceed here. Should i go to a new Gender therapist ( my last one unfortunately passed away in 2009) and get a reconfirmation from them before telling anyone, or should i be upfront with the people around me? I know this is asking alot and i feel like asking these questions are burdensome to you all. but if you could give me any insight into what i should do next i would greatly appreciate it.
To Mike, Do read what LAC has to say, they do have very valid points they make and there are lots of things that go into it. Hence why there are as many checks and balances as there are. They are also very correct that the hormones are dangerous and in fact are a sanity test often for if you are trans. If your brain works on the new hormones and mood increases then generally you are and the brain is wired to accept that chemical composition. IE a man taking estrogen and T blockers should get very depressed, but a trans woman doing the same thing will have a very significant uptick in mood and such. Essentially the inverse of what would be expected on a CIS person. That said there is risk of blood clots, increased chance of diabeties and a whole slew of other things that CAN happen. Its a medication, and like all meds there are side effects. So the stuff LAC says is completely valid. They had a different experience than I have, so if you do choose to PM them it may be worth your while. It's always good to have both sides of an equation before deciding true or false. Generally we have to find this through research but if LAC is willing to discuss it then that makes it all the easier for you. I would encourage hearing what they have to say.
First of all break up with the girlfriend. DO NOT tell her it is because you are trans. She will throw you under the bus to everyone you know and you don't need that kind of grief. Just tell her you are not ready to get married and need to rededicate yourself to the lord or some shit. Get her off your back.
Find yourself some hardcore support people, who are willing to stand up and for you come what may. Dedicate yourself to sorting this out by literally moving away and finding a good therapist. Begin to make the changes that you know will make you happy in privacy and with the support of people you can trust. Don't drag a bunch of excess emotional garbage along with you or involve a bunch of people are only going to gape and judge.