Transgender Support Group
This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.

TheIvoryMoon
Hi! I'm Macx, my pronouns are he/him. I'm 17 and a senior in high school. I'm mostly out of the closet. Unfortunately, my teachers keep deadnaming me and calling me her. I've talked to them but I don't know how to correct people. It gives me anxiety every time I try to talk to them about it. I want help with telling them, but none of my friends are in my classes. I don't know what to do or how to approach the matter.
WyndWytch
well there's kind of two sides to it... first side is that you're going to be done dealing with them in 7 months. Is it really worth the uphill battle to you? If you've not legally changed your name, then technically speaking on all your paperwork it is going to say that name. That all said there is enough case law out there right now in the US to ensure that you could probably win any discrimination case you wanted on those grounds. If you are not comfortable continuing to talk to the teachers, then you need to bring it to the administrators. You will have to abide by whatever guidelines they have so if they require a therapists letter for instance and you aren't seeing one, there will be a diagnosis issue. To the point of how to bring it up, the best thing to do out the door is to talk to them privately and say "hey, this is the situation, I am trans, I am presenting as male, I have given you another name to use. this is notice and continuing to deliberately use the other pronouns and name is discriminatory. I would appreciate you attempting to make some effort to try." Now understand they are going to make mistakes. but if they make the attempt that is at least something. if after that conversation is had, I would say simply don't answer them when they use the dead name. when they say her, repeat him. take it to the school administration and guidance councilors. If it is worth all the work that it takes to do this then you have to fight for it. Again its 7 months or so, you have to decide. The whole transitioning thing is a battle from start to finish (legal matters, employment, insurance, medical, so on), this is just one step of it. In the end if you have raised the alerts, and fought for it and they refuse, you might have a legal case you could leverage against the school and potentially the school district if you wanted to take it that far.
StrengthInMe
I have a child in the same situation and I work at the same school. I hear both sides. My child's side and the teacher's side. It comes down to this. Some teachers are supportive and use the correct pronouns, some are supportive & deadnaming on accident, and some are not supportive at all. You may be able to talk to a school counsilor and have a prefered name put on the roster, but pronouns get tricky. Some teachers deserve the benefit of the doubt (some do not). If they knew you before you came out it is going to be more difficult for them to switch those pronouns in their head. Some teachers are more supportive than you think, unfortunately though, they are probably the ones who have known you the longest and will deadname you out of a force of habit versus trying to be rude or unsupportive. Whin I am speaking with a teacher who uses the correct pronouns for my child (who prefers he/him) it is easy for me to use his prefered name & pronoun. When I am speaking to a teacher who is using a birth name and prounoun, I will correct them. I can tell how supportive they are by how they respond to being corrected. When I am speaking to a teacher who apologizes for deadnaming, I ask them to correct me also if they catch me doing it as I am still trying to transition it in my head as well. When I am in a room or school full of people calling my child she/her, I say it on accident sometimes. Look closely and you just might find that one of those teachers deadnaming you just might be a good ally, and just might need help getting used to your transition. You could also ask a school counsilor or nurse to organize a conference to speak to your teachers. You may not want win this battle in 7 months, so choose carefully if you want to take it on, but it could benefit the next trans student they encounter even if it doesn't go the way you like. If you have teachers that are refusing to use your preferences because of their own personal beliefs, maybe review your schools equal education opportunities policies and file a complaint.
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