So I need some help and advice... I'm a mtf.. and my family is super unsupportive... currently I'm in my teenage years and here's the story that's made me miserable for the past while...

I learnt yesterday that my parents are severally homophobic since I mentioned to them that I wanted hormones and I had mentioned it before but they acted supportive about me being trans when I did during school...

My dad has always been homophobic and a dick about everything but my mom has never really been that bad for it...

I'll start from the beginning of the month... I had gone on a small trip with my mom that lasted about 7-8 hours and throughout the trip I had hinted that I wanted to go through hormone therapy and my mother caught on... she said that she was fully supportive of me transitioning but that she didn't wanna risk my health... and I understand that... she's my mom and obviously she cared alot... but then about 2 weeks later she and I had gone on another small trip that lasted 6 hours... I had mentioned going through hormone therapy again and how I really want to transition and I hinted at maybe getting some more female clothing... she had once again been super supportive and it made me really happy that she actually cared and supported me... then I mentioned things to my dad and it didn't go so smooth...

I had accidentally mentioned to my dad what I had said to my mom on our small trip when he and I went shopping later that evening... lucky for me we were in a store so he didn't absolutely flip... but he had said that I'd never get hormones and bleh all that negative unsupportive stuff that people say... and I guess I understood it... he's never really been fond of people in the lgbt community... (mainly why he does everything in his power to avoid Davie Street in Vancouver) but it only got worse...

A few days later (yesterday) I woke up and my phone was gone.. I ignored it and took a shower and got dressed.. then my dad confronted me in the hallway saying I was grounded... it confused me a bit but I accepted it since it was normal for him to do things like this for no good reason... then he made me clean out his truck since it's his only working vehicle.. it pissed me off but I did it anyways since I'm a good kid... after it was clean we went and picked up my mom then drove to Vancouver to the horse tracks... on the drive there I had mentioned being trans and all that again then my dad went off entirely.. and it was upsetting that my mom did too... they yelled at me for the whole hour long drive there about how "until I have tits and a pussy I'll never be female" and all this stupid shit... I tried to argue back bit I couldn't do it... everything they said to me in the truck made me shut down and I didn't speak a word for the rest of the day.. when we got to the horse tracks I was on the verge of tears and kept trying to avoid them... yet they threatened me... I already had severe anxiety on being trans and I already suffered from depression prior to coming out.. (I had been hiding the fact that I was trans for about 3 years)... everything they said to me through the whole day drove me to tears and the verge of suicide... when we finally got home after 2 hours at the tracks and an hour long drive home I basically rushed to my room and had a breakdown... I cried for almost an hour straight and no one cared... I've barely spoken to my dad since... on the drive back he tried to apologize because be could see the tears welling up in my eyes but he did it horribly... "I'm triggered to give you thick skin.. there's gonna be plenty of people that will yell at you like that and treat you like shit because to them you're a freak of nature" and I guess he was right... sometimes I do feel like a freak of nature... but all I had asked from him and what started the whole argument what that he start calling me female pronouns and start calling me my preferred name (Charlotte) and maybe get me hormones of that's an option... I haven't mentioned hormones to anyone else other than them and I haven't mentioned being trans to anyone except a few people... the people I mentioned it to other than my parents call me Charlotte or nicknames related to it and call me by female pronouns... alot of people thing taht I'm "too young" to make this "adult decision" however I'm more mature than anyone else my age.. I've gone trough more than my dad has... yet he still treats me like shit... I want to confront him about it again but he's banned me from talking about it or doing anything related to a transition... it makes me feel like shit and I just want some advice... help??..