Transgender Support Group

This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.

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Christy33 05/09/2018

New to this, I think I'm ready to come out fully but scared at the same time. I know that I feel like a want to be a women for 20yrs now. I have a wife and kids my wife willwill accept me if I transition. Don't know what to do.

Christy33 05/09/2018

Typo lol. I meant to say my wife will not accept me if I transition.

WyndWytch 05/09/2018

Well you will have to decide which is more important? You can certainly keep going as you have for 20 years (I don't know how old your kids are) and then maybe once they are on their own do it or just live as you have. You could also talk to her about it, educate her about it in that time and her view may change. Your other option is to just do it and if she wont accept it then essentially be wiping the slate clean. She has you having to make a very difficult choice. You sound as if you have discussed it with her and she has said no, if that is true, well you have these options if she hasn't, then you really need to discuss things with her.

Monica653 05/16/2018

I would become a woman and let her go and be happy with your life

Liam 05/23/2018

Sounds like you have multiple priorities to balance, responsibilities to yourself, your kids, your wife, the danger of untreated dysphoria, and the losses in not being able to fully be yourself. A counselor could be a great help in finding the answers that make most sense to you and the options that allow you the best protection for relationships you value the most. There is no risk-free way to navigate all of this, but there are still caring ways to be your true self and plan for the welfare of your family as well. You can do this, but don't do it without that extra support in place for you and your family, since you know already that your wife at this point can' t be supportive and your kids will have their own set of needs and questions.

Liam

TheLostBoy 05/26/2018

Hey Christy,

I think it will all boil down to what’s going to make you the happiest? If your wife is the love of your life and you would do anything to stay with her then talk to her. Let her know excatly how you feel. Sometimes the other person needs time to wrap their head around this stuff. Give her and everyone else time. If in the end they don’t want to be with you for it, then that’s their choice. If you are ok with carrying on as you have then go with it. If you don’t think you can “live a lie” anymore and you’re willing to put yourself first then you might have your answer.
To transition or not to transition. That is the ultimate question when collateral damage is taken into account.

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