This is something you will likely never really understand. Maybe have a better idea, but its one of those things that unless you've been through it you never really understand it. That said, I am happy to talk with you and let you know what I dealt with (which may be a bit different than your mate) and do my best to help shed some light on it. I guess the first step would be to try to imagine being who you are right now, but you walk to the mirror and you have the body of a man. You know the woman you are right now through and through, but that mirror is telling you something completely different. That would be the first step I guess.

I never thought about it like that..... I have tried to talk to him but always ends up in a fight .... like last night I asked hime if we can compromise in r sex life ... I told him I have need some and wants to but it seems like he don't care...... he wants to grow his own boobs and dress in dras and thongs but some times I just want the man I love and a normal life and he gets mad at me for saying that I don't understand if I'm saying something wrong idk he tells me I have 1 life to live and I'm living it to the fullest am I wrong to say this

Short answer is no you are not wrong. Everyone has their life and that life has desires. His is taking him down a path that is not completely yours. You are accompanying him but still will need to hop to yours now and again. If he cannot handle the idea that sometimes you will want a man, then that is his issue to resolve and if he doesn't fix that, then he will eventually push you away as you will end up seeking either way. My resolution with my mate was an open relationship. She has me, and she has a boyfriend. I am first and foremost and I make the rules. We both understand that the rules get broken and its done. Her BF also knows and understands them and agrees. So in the end it works, but that was my compromise for that situation. That wont work for everyone. Its going to take some talking and feeling to get to where both sides will be comfortable. But no you are not wrong for having needs and desires that are different from his.

Thank u alot this really help to understand.. I just fill like I can't talk to no one so it fells better that finally just get to say something and some one not judge me for trying to understand him

Can u tell me how I might go about this....... my husband was to like tell people but honestly I really don't want people to know like at all I'm sorry I'm like dreading the day people either find out or he tells everyone ...... I'm so stressed I'm not just stressed about just me but I have ever 3 girls and idk what to do just fell like crying and hiding ingredients a dark place right now

all you can do is sit down and talk calmly with no yelling. Listen to his side, tell him your side. If he is so sunken into himself that they cannot see your side, then perhaps go with him to his therapist. I am assuming he has one because if he is self medicating he risks not being able to transition in general (as he has shown irresponsibility with medications) and it is a serious health risk. Ultimately if he isn't taking the right stuff he will fail hard at what he is trying to achieve anyhow. The other side is... If he hasn't been diagnosed by a therapist and all that, he can go ahead and tell someone whatever he wants but it isn't true until a professional backs it up. Hard truths for him to deal with. I could tape a fake arm to my back and say I have 3 arms, but I doubt I will ever have a medical professional back that claim. So you simply need to sit down and talk with him. Communication is key and being calm is key. No yelling, No arguing. The second someone is yelling, they aren't listening anymore. Now, should you choose to leave, if you are in the USA there are a HUGE number of programs for women with children to help with food, housing, child care, so on. If you are planning to stay, well nothing changes. I cant really script anything for you since everyones situation is different. Fact is where this is about him, he needs to get into his head it effects everyone around him. Perhaps him telling people around him is beneficial. If he is bullheaded enough with a friend, they are going to act hostile towards him and it may wake him up to the fact not everyone is as willing to try to understand as you are.

Thank u I'm trying to stay I love him very much reason with him ..... he does not see anyone no therapy nothing he don't think he needs it he bought some pills off the Internet and I got worried about it cause he started to follow what the bottle said on it and after a month he starting taking 3 at 1 time instead of taking 1 three times a day

Well, he really hasn't changed other than the fact of what he is doing to try to be more him I guess is the only way to say it. However look up the following site:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Standards_of_Care_for_the_Health_of_Transsexual,_Transgender,_and_Gender_Nonconforming_People#Summary_of_WPATH-SOC_For_Gender_Identity_Disorders.2C_Sixth_Version

The actual Standards of Care is something you have to buy, which is stupid, but the standards of care are the guidelines the medical community follows dealing with transition. Here is what I can tell you. He has to have a therapist. At least one willing to write a letter for hormones. Two letters are required for SRS, and he has to live for 1 year as the gender being transitioned to. If he is self medicating, Often times therapists WILL NOT write a letter for hormones as they can kill you. Estrogen increases the risk of blood clotting and can cause stroke or death if not monitored properly. It will have near 0 effect on him without the partnering of a testosterone suppressant which has to be monitored for other reasons as well. Without a therapist, I can assure you that if he goes out walking around and walks into a woman's room he is going to be arrested. The only real saving grace for many is the letter for hormones that tells the police that you are under the care of a medical professional however, it doesn't mean you won't still get arrested but it helps. As far as the medication he is taking... If the bottle says 1 3 times a day, then in most cases... taking 3 at once is okay. Now this is not always the case. I am diabetic. If I take my 2 metformin doses in the morning, I am going to be in a near comma in the morning and my sugar through the roof at night. Estrogens don't tend to act that way though. I take both of my Estrogen pills in the morning and my levels are stable. Progesterone on the other hand, I believe you have to take 2 times a day for prescribed levels.

Now all that said.... If he is taking something like one of those estrogen supplements over the counter to help with hot flashes, you don't need to worry at all. There is such a low amount of phytoestrogens in them that it will have absolutely 0 effect on him at all. If he bought black market meds, Illegal prescription level medications, then he's is risking his ability to legitimately transition and could be risking his life honestly.

Long story short, By self medicating he is telling every medical professional on the planet that he is not mentally responsible enough to transition (he will eventually need implants or surgery of some kind and now he is locked into going to a chop shop), He is all but certain to be arrested if he ever tries to use the ladies room, He will not be able to have any official medical matters done, and he is risking his health for something with next to no return based on what he is likely taking.

I would also add, should he be caught with "Black Market" meds, there is jail time involved in that. Prescription based medications regardless of how they are acquired are illegal without a prescription. So...... yeah he is being a bit of a fool.

No black market mess he found them on a Web site a supplement with cream and stuff costed him like $100

yep they wont do squat for him...

Lol well that's good to know I guess I told him I want to try something before he tries to change to buy some fake boobs and use them as real ones I don't think it will help him but I'm hoping it works honestly

well the creams and all are mostly scams honestly, they may give some temporary lift from the rubbing of the breast, but that's honestly about it and it certainly wont last. I don't know how old he is, but fact is the older you are the less they work even when being administered professionally. I will admit at one point I did use fake breasts (breast forms) but that was more to see how I would look with certain sizes and to get an idea of what looked good, bad or just plain disaster. Also moving around, how it changes how you sleep and so on. So from that standpoint I don't think anything will change. With him as far as clothing and everything, the lengthy message about covers it. Without that letter, it's a bad scene plain and simple. I think right now he may be running a bit through a euphoric high and if that's the case, the luster will wear off fast when he learns that in order to transition there's years of therapy, legal name changes (A PAIN IN THE REAR TO CHANGE THEM!!!), Medications and Exams, The Life test, Electrolysis (unless he wants to shave his face forever), surgical endeavors, Coming out to friends family and employers.... its not fast, its not easy, its not something that is just a light switch. It is a very long road. I am at 7 years. I am right now at the point I need electrolysis in prep for surgery (oh do I dread that, its gonna hurt!) and I need the money for the surgery. So I have gone through pretty much everything, the electrolysis on the face, the meds and exams 2 times a year, the therapy, the doctors, the attorneys and courts, the friends, family, work, all that. I think once your spouse sees what its going to take, they are either going to back off if they aren't really in it for the right reasons, or they are going to pull up the belt and move forward. If they move forward then you know they are serious because its not something taken on lightly.

Well he keeps saying that he don't want to be a girl he just wants the boobs nothing else he says he just need them for his confidence but idk

well in order to get those he is going to still need a therapist :P he is still going to have hoops and... lets face it, if he has boobs people are going to take notice so he is still going to face most the other transition related items by being visible. His best bet.... falsies

Hi Alex99,

From what you have said so far. It seems to be a good relationship and he is open with you.

Could you tell me a few things about the relationship you have with him. Is he under any sort of stress?with work, Finances <- (big one), Supporting a family, Life in general. Friends and support?

Does he have his own set of undergarments that we wears? Or does he go through yours? An Idea could be to take him to get a fitting for a bra, but also tell him he would have to go see a therapist too. Kinda lightly toss that in there.

Has he shown any other signs to you that you may notice? Like painting nails and toe nails, Shaving all the body hair off? Maybe more relaxed if you spoke to him while he wore those undergarments?

This is really odd cause most people know from an early age and take steps to find balance and live better. So I don't know exactly what the situation is here and I would say tread Lightly. Take him to a therapist preferable a gender therapist.

As for your question I think what he meant was - he is a woman trapped in a mans body. - This is Gender Identity issues with ones self. Or Gender Dysphoria. In which case the gender therapist is the best person to help them.
To him He wants to have the boobs cause it will make him feel better. Only for a short time until he can do other things. Or the feelings come back again. This is the wrong path and leads down a dark path that isn't good.