Transgender Support Group

This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.

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HELP NEEDED!!Split and confused, which way is up??

alimac2009
alimac2009
I don't know whether or not this should be advice or discussion but I figured most people just read the discussions. ANYWAY I found out I am a lesbian three years ago, when I was thirteen. I just told my mom a few months ago and I am now coming to terms with trying to tell people. Here is my current situation, while trying to come to terms with it and paying more attention to who I am so I can be absolutely confident in myself, I realized that being a lesbian may not exactly be me. But I am stuck in between a rock and a hard place because I like, scratch that, LOVE being a lesbian and I am comfortable with that, but I also have dreams and stuff that I wake up in the morning and I have the lower anatomy of a male, and then I am so happy and releived like, I don't really know how to explain it which is probably the toughest part with me trying to come to terms with who I am. I really need help, it's not like I feel trapped, you know? But it's like a feeling that life would be so much better, and I would be so much happier, and....I don't know how to explain it. I don't want someone to tell me whether I am or not, I just want people's opinions and advice on what to do. Is it possible to be partial transgender? or maybe it has something to do with my split personality? Here is another problem with it too, I have a cousin, a guy who is transgender, he dresses and acts like a girl, he was my best friend, but when I told my parents that I am a lesbian that is the first thing they said, "as long as you don't end up like Josh, we're fine." So I don't have any one to talk to about this. I am just venting partially and explaining myself. Please if you read this I beg of you to write something...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well, to use your phrase, yes it is possible to be part transgender (I am). I have attributes and feelings of both genders. Actually I believe Transgender is a scale or spectrum.

However, you may also be confusing Gender Identity with Sexual Preference. How you identify gender wise is not necessarily related to your sexual orientation. Sometimes it is easier if you think about Gender Identity and Sexual preference seperately.
deleted_user
deleted_user
mac makes a good point. I am part transgender, as in I am a woman but sometimes prtend to be a guy, go out as a guy, etc. but I am only (well mostly) attracted to men (I like to kiss girls but thats it). I will only have sex with men... (albeit, at one time I had sex with alot of gay men.. it's a long story).

As mac said, Gender Identity isnt the same thing as sexual preference
alimac2009
alimac2009
Well I don't know like, a clear difference but I think I am part transgender. I love girls, to be honest just the thought of being with a guy makes me sick to my stomache(no offense). But I feel like I should be a guy at times, that is what I was wondering, AT TIMES like, half the time I feel like I should have been a guy, not a girl.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know where your comming from Alimac. Iam transgendered but didn't actually realize that until about a year ago. I always just thought that I was a very musculine lesbian because honestly I nver was ever atracted to guys thinking of them in a sexual or boyfriend kind of way just makes my stomach turn honestly. If you ever would like to talk just message me I'd be glad to chat sometime :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
hi mac,
i am transgender 100%..male to female and i am in transition now. i also study this in college right now to try an understand and protect all people including the lgbt communities. i am also on the spectrum of sexualaity...bisexual...i mostly love women and other trans people..but every once in a while, i crave the attention and sex from a cute guy.

seperating seual preference from our identites is a great way to understand, explain and be i think.

add me as a friend if u want and msg if u ever need to or want to.

patty
alimac2009
alimac2009
Here is a big problem with me figuring this all out, I keep feeling like I don't havetime to think about this and get in touch wth myself and se if I really am or not. I did something really stupid and I didnt like it but I did itanyway. I don't know, I just need to get out and go somewhere I think. Im only 16 so I dont know where I can go to think or take a vacation and figure this all out....
deleted_user
deleted_user
When big questions like this hit us, often we feel we don't have the time to figure it all out because everything it turned upside down. But we do actually have the time, whether we feel it or not, and if you can get away to a place where you can quietly think and gently sort through your feelings, what's really you will come to the surface and the rest that isn't will just fall away. And possibly your dreams of having the lower anatomy of a male and feeling like life would be better and you'd be happier if you did is something that you need more time to think about then just brush off as a dream or random thought that occurs to you often enough to give you pause. You may find you belong on a different part of the gender spectrum, what some may classify as partial transgender, gender queer, gender bender, etc. I've know people who felt like both and at times presented as one gender and at other times the other gender. They were fluid with their gender and presented as the one they felt like at that time. That may be you and I hope everyone's advice and opinion's gives you some answers.
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