I agree with everything except that you cannot transition if you wished. I know a 75 year old who just started. Now everyone's situation is different and its possible there are other elements holding you back, but age shouldn't be one of them. You are right that the country is a hateful place when it comes to trans people and I think its mostly from ignorance and loss of the ability to critically think. Hopefully it indeed will change, but like you I don't think I will be around to see it

One of my kids is Christian homophobic and there are grandchildren involved. Would get messy! I don't need to 'transition' since I am already female in my psyche where it matters. That being said the real me is lonely. Thank you for your thoughts. I hope your own situation has comfort if not true hope. X.

I wish you all the luck in the world. When I came out as a lesbian my family really broke my heart. Not allowing me to be an aunt to my nieces and nephews then later blaming me for not being in their life from a young age. And my spouse who is now wanting to transition fears doing so because of judgement from her in laws(my family). It is heartbreaking but a true torment the LGBTQIA+ community faces and although I can not personally understand your situation I hope for love and fulfillment in your life. There are many loving and caring people out there, but you just have to search the crowds. And you never know, maybe some people in your family will surprise you in their acceptance but you would have to make those judgment calls on your own only if you feel it is safe to do so.

Passive aggressive behaviour from family. People are so programmed by society to hate, yet nature demands caring. You don't have a problem, your family does. I get it and experience a form of that behaviour almost daily. You have no real option but to play the cards nature dealt.

Sweet Soul,

You know your own situation and the challenges attatched to it better than anyone who can advise you. If you are in a place of self acceptance that feels right and safe, all to the better. As a trans woman I believe you face a much more difficult world than I do as a trans man.

That said, I am also an elder transitioner and thought for 58 years that safety and acceptance by the outside world would never be an option for me either. I am an educator, still employed, and realized last year that I needed to be open about my genuine self to be available to support my transgender students.

I came out to staff, family and friends last year and as students have asked have come out to each of them this year on an ongoing basis. My Roman Catholic priest didn't have the insight to be supportive, but a wonderful pastor and congregation of Lutherans have warmly welcomed me. My school district administrators and my building staff listened to my experiences at a series of trainings and I approached some of these individuals privately as well to help them understand at least the basics of what I feel and need, and why I have chosen to be more public with this very private information.

I connected with my physician who connected me with transgender healthcare providers at a university in my state, and I made small changes to present as more masculine, and visited a hair restoration clinic and had a beard transplant over the summer before returning to work the next school year. I had many sleepless nights anticipating transphobic concerns with parents/students/community/others, but really was touched that people who were genuine friends before are genuine friends now. I have a small group of family who I believe continue to love me but can't wrap their heads around how this squares with their religious beliefs. I have had a lifetime to think about those questions myself, so I am willing to be patient with them or willing to move on if their treatment is damaging to me.

I don't feel the need for much counselor involvement, but do connect for information and the needed bits of documentation that support my doctors in providing the bits of physical transition I am ready for.

I am well beyond my prime physically, but having hormone therapy and the new experience of being recognized consistently as male is so freeing. I have tough days when people are unaccepting or unkind, but on the whole people are incredibly kind even in my rural redneck community. I have been hugely surprized. Not having to carry on the daily pretense of being female has given me energy I didn't have before and I feel a good bit younger though I know I have earned my senior discounts in life!

Courage, Sister. You are perfect as you are, and any options for change can be available at our ages if we decide they match our needs.

Take care.
Liam

Liam, I salute your bravery and positive mind. I don't know, of course, but I think your journey could be easier from a presentation point of view. Surgically much more difficult! My own location, history and family situation makes it unlikely I will ever get to road test my true being. We must make the most of our circumstances and try to remain honest to our inner person. It's tough but who said life was easy! Sandra x.

Sandra,

Yes, on many levels, especially presentation things have been easier for me than what you have faced and are facing. We are something remarkably special because we have survived pain and frustration and social torture and fear and have been ourselves as best we can. You are remarkably special. We play the cards we are dealt, but our internal world and our dreams are all our own. Hugs to you, Sister.

Liam

Thank you for your kindness. When I completed therapy I gave my therapist a book of works by Rabbie Burns. Wonderful thinker. I wrote for her that it is easy to use words to be cruel and hurtful but it takes a special person to use the same language to heal and save lives.
I wish you happiness where you find it.

And peace to you, Sandra.

Liam

Sandra, it is never to late to become the person you are. Don't give up on your dream.

Being two-spirited and being able to view both sides means having the internal pain of desire balanced against hurting others. ' To dream the impossible dream ....' Perhaps improbable dream is the reality, but I know who I am and in my brain that is who I will die as. Sad, isn't it? Whoever said life was fair was probably dealing off the bottom of the deck. Thank you for your encouragement, who knows what is in store for any of us.

Thank you to every one who has posted here. I am new to this website, and am looking for support for FTM late in life, living in a rural, redneck area, and wanting testosterone, but unsure if I will be able to get that. My transition will also impact my professional status, and unsure how to manage that.
Liam, thank you for your comments, and much food for thought.
Forrest99