Transgender Support Group

This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.

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Adrien.N.T 01/27/2018

Hello agian, so I just wanted to share some news with you. Last week I had had it with my mom getting me makeup that I would never use and clothes I would never wear, so I decided I was going to come out and tell her I was trans, but when I got to her door she was yelling on the phone about trans people and bathrooms, I just stood there shocked so I couldn't do it I was afraid that she would hate me so I waited. Its been a week since that happened and only this morning I had gathered what little courage I had and went to her room, I sat down on her bed with her and let her watch a video from a priest telling the parent that they didn't raise me wrong and that I'm not mentally ill after that I looked at her with hopeful eye and hoped she would except me she just looked at me and said she didn't want to hear it anymore so I thought "oh this is all a shock to her I'll let her process it" and only 1 hour ago she calls me in her room and tells me that I'm a girl not a boy and says she doesn't believe that I'm really trans, she asks me how long and I told her 2-3 years that I've known. She looks at me again and says that she won't let me wear boy clothes, I'm not aloud to date (this I don't really care about), and she said I can't tell my sisters or my friends or family. We ended up yelling and arguing to the point I was shaking (I have a very fragile soul). I just really need some advice right now, death has been on my mind lately so I've been talking with my transgender friend. I just really need some help. Thank you for reading I crap.

WyndWytch 01/28/2018

I am not sure how helpful this will be and sorry i am only seeing this now. You have a couple things to consider in this. Firstly you can tell anyone you want. she cant tell you who you can and cannot talk to and she certainly cant control your speech at very many levels. So she can complain and throw a hissy all she wants, you can tell anyone you want and outside the house you can do what you want. Right now there is a court case going on about a parent who was doing something not to dissimilar from her and they are being tried for abuse for refusing to get the child treatment. She can dismiss it all she wants, fact is trying to discount it with out treatment is becoming a pretty serious thing in the legal world. This last part is the one that will take a bit and you will have to be patient. She is in shock. this takes a while to get through. The more you dont keep it in the open the more denial she can have. You are going to have to keep it in her face. Watch videos, keep trans items around, things of that nature. Anything you can get away with doing to keep it in her face so it forces her to face it. If she is so sure you are a girl, call her on it and say fine send me to a doctor, here's the name of some that deal with this... send mean and prove it.
It sucks and i cant say that it wont happen and have things that will suck more. I will say you can get through it though. Right now you are trapped in her house which means she has some power over you, however that is not forever. If she wants to fight you on it, then it is her telling you her daughter that she is not going to love you for you like a parent should because she cant get over herself and her own misguided ideas about the world. What does that say about her? Once you arent under her roof, you will be free to do what you want and she will have to face it one way or another. You just have to get there. so if you are feeling suicidal or the likes, call a crisis line and explore options for where you live. many states have counselling options for those without the money to get it to help with the suicidal thoughts at the least. Use what you can to get there :D it will be better once you do.

andro-quest 01/28/2018

Don't ever let anyone downplay the amount of power an abusive parent has to hurt you. I know 4 years seems like an eternity now, but it will pass. How much of your self are you going to need to still be intact when you are 18 and can legally face the world and begin building a life for yourself.

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