I have trouble with my parents and grandparents over protective habits and always want to get involves with me in every aspect of my life and have no respect for my privacy or boundary at all, my younger brother who always there to mock me and mentally stomping me when I am down or tell my parents or grandparents the things I don't want them to know the most so he could make fun of me, my sister who is not afraid to verbally yell at me any time she want, and some horrible distance relatives that think they are old and should be respected and have a lot of life experience making comments on the topic that is about me and not them and claimed that they did it to protect me.

Some of the above problems are getting better, but some are still there. Once in a while it will come back to hit me in my most vulnerable and least expected time. It might be quiet for a while, but there is always a chance to get triggered.

I am also a transgender pre everything. I am afraid to come out or be myself in general due to how they treated me. Add my dysphoria, sexual identity and sexual orientation issues to them just to make it more complex. I am afraid to come out and tell everyone or tell them I want hormone replacement therapy and sexual reassignment surgeries. Everyone around me are transphobia, homophobia, feeling strongly disgust with people who they know are transgender (usually the one that does not look completely like the gender they always are), and on top of that fear of taking any hormone even if under professional help.

I'm scared that I won't be able to move out and put my distance far far away from my parents and grandparents and pretty much any relatives of mine. I am planing to move away to another country. My greatest fear is I would fail and would stuck here with them til the day I die.

My horrible feeling pops in and out. The laws in my country doesn't help me anything. It won't let me put a restrain order on my direct parents and grandparents. There is no anti-discrimination laws against sexual identity and sexual orientation. And I am in the country that LGBTQA+ want to visit at least once in their life.

I have no friend that can actually ask for help if I am in trouble. Actually 20+ years, I have never had even one friend that I could rely on. Only someone that I trusted enough to tell them and have them betrayed me and someone who is in equally horrible but not trans. We are planning to move away when ever we had a chance. Does not have to go together.