Transgender Support Group
This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.
Hello, I am looking for people to talk to. My dad just told us that he wants to become a woman. I don't know how to feel, right know I feel every emotion a person can feel. I am hoping I can talk to anyone that will help me understand, and help me find a way to deal with the loss that I am also feeling. Thank you .
I can see how those news would upset you because it is a loss of sorts, but the loss has everything to do with the death of everything you thought was so but no longer is.
You will feel a lot of feelings and all of them are valid under the circumstances but they cannot be used against the person you think caused them
Let me explain, those feelings occur every time we are faced with a reality different from our own expectations, but they are our feelings, no one causes them, it is our own reaction so we cannot blame anyone for them since we are ones feeling them
That being said, now for the most important part of this post. Your father did not come to this decision lightly, he must have had this on his mind 24/7 for a very long time, since he was a child but since society is extremely hostile towards these types of folks, he kept it, as long as he could, until he could not anymore, it was either fulfilling his life path or die miserable, no one truly wants that.
We tend to think of our parents as parents but they are also human beings with them same wants and needs as everyone else and they are also adults who have every right to be happy and be at peace for the rest of their lives.
What I a basically saying that there is no need to make this news a personal thing, he did not do this against you, for all intents and purposes, this is not different from your father announcing he was divorcing your mother, for instance.
You say you wish to understand, in this instance, no one can expect that of you, it is something outside your experience but perhaps you could see it this way: Have ever had something you wanted to do in your life that went against what everyone around you accepted and supported but you felt that if you did not go ahead a live that life you would die a little bit each day because you knew you could not be who you truly are ? That is exactly what it is like for your father
The road ahead for your father will be very difficult as women are not very valued and to a lot of men, he will be seen as walking away from the manhood club even though your father never felt as a member of said club since he sees himself as a woman.
I hope you can work this out for yourself and your family. If you have any questions, let us know and you can also ask your father, you know?
Hope this helps,
Wolf (ftm since 1987)