Transgender Support Group
This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.
well i wrote a letter for my mom but i dont know if i should just wait until im 18 to tell her that i am genderqueer and want to transition toward being more masculine. ahhh im only 16 and she just got use to the gay thing idk if i should tell her but if i do before my b-day ill give her this letter:
Dear Mom,
I'm not really good at expressing my feelings out loud when it's something to hard to talk about, so I decided to write you this letter instead. There have been some things going on with me lately that have confused me and have made me get angry and upset. I'm sorry to both you and my brother for the way I have been acting recently. I hope with this letter I can explain something that is really hard for me to tell you. I really don't know how you will react to this and I don't want another fight like when I told you I was gay. I don't know if I could take that in my current state, I don't know if you will ever accept what I am trying to explain in this letter but I hope that you won't stop loving me because of it. I know I'm still only 16 and that sometimes I'm not completely sure of who I am as a person and what I want to do with myself. I want to tell you that this is one thing that I am sure about, that on November 25, 1992 you didn't have a daughter, and well as you always say you didn't have a son either. The fact is that you had a child that doesn't really fit into the whole gender binary society that we live in. The daughter that you say you want back won't come, because the day I accepted myself for who I was and what I was that part of me that faked being a girl died. This may be confusing to hear but I do identify as someone who is genderqueer, to me that means having a feeling of being neither a boy nor a girl, but more masculine then feminine. I want to be able to start my transition over to being more masculine on my 18th birthday by starting to see a gender therapist and identifying as Jerrod/Brice with gender-neutral or male pronouns. I know that you don't even like people calling me Kris and that you said you'd never call me by anything other then Krystal, but this is something i have to do to feel comfortable with myself and for me the sooner that happens the better my life would be. I hope you can accept what I am telling you about myself and you still love me.
-Jerrod/Brice
what do you think, should i come out or should i wait until i am 18 to tell her about wanting to transition to being more masculine especially since she took the gay thing hard.
i know i have to at least wait until i figure out what i want to be called between Jerrod and Brice even though since im not out to anybody about this all i can ask is you guys to help me between those two names.
So in conclusion my question to you dudes are should i tell her now or later? does Brice or Jerrod fit me more? and Is my letter confusing or does it need more detail?
Dear Mom,
I'm not really good at expressing my feelings out loud when it's something to hard to talk about, so I decided to write you this letter instead. There have been some things going on with me lately that have confused me and have made me get angry and upset. I'm sorry to both you and my brother for the way I have been acting recently. I hope with this letter I can explain something that is really hard for me to tell you. I really don't know how you will react to this and I don't want another fight like when I told you I was gay. I don't know if I could take that in my current state, I don't know if you will ever accept what I am trying to explain in this letter but I hope that you won't stop loving me because of it. I know I'm still only 16 and that sometimes I'm not completely sure of who I am as a person and what I want to do with myself. I want to tell you that this is one thing that I am sure about, that on November 25, 1992 you didn't have a daughter, and well as you always say you didn't have a son either. The fact is that you had a child that doesn't really fit into the whole gender binary society that we live in. The daughter that you say you want back won't come, because the day I accepted myself for who I was and what I was that part of me that faked being a girl died. This may be confusing to hear but I do identify as someone who is genderqueer, to me that means having a feeling of being neither a boy nor a girl, but more masculine then feminine. I want to be able to start my transition over to being more masculine on my 18th birthday by starting to see a gender therapist and identifying as Jerrod/Brice with gender-neutral or male pronouns. I know that you don't even like people calling me Kris and that you said you'd never call me by anything other then Krystal, but this is something i have to do to feel comfortable with myself and for me the sooner that happens the better my life would be. I hope you can accept what I am telling you about myself and you still love me.
-Jerrod/Brice
what do you think, should i come out or should i wait until i am 18 to tell her about wanting to transition to being more masculine especially since she took the gay thing hard.
i know i have to at least wait until i figure out what i want to be called between Jerrod and Brice even though since im not out to anybody about this all i can ask is you guys to help me between those two names.
So in conclusion my question to you dudes are should i tell her now or later? does Brice or Jerrod fit me more? and Is my letter confusing or does it need more detail?
Since you're already referring to yourself by a different name, I don't think it would be a good idea to wait until you're 18. That could only end up building up anxiety and depression.
Hope this helps a little. xxx
Brice- Son of a Nobleman
Jerrod- Down to Earth
And depending on how your mother reacts I would suggest asking her what she might have named you as a boy, or which of these that she likes better... maybe getting her to help in the transition will make it easier on both of you. Also, bring lots of literature with you on genderqueerness and support for the families, so that if she has any questions when you're not there she can find her answers.
Good luck with all of this,
Amanda
Your mother will need help in understanding you -- what you are facing now -- and help in overcoming her fears about your choice -- all the imagined harm you might come to. There are many articles on transgendered sites for parents of the transgendered. Print some off and have them at hand.
Speak to your GP and tell him/her of your feelings and wishes. Get them as your advocate. You may even need to give them articles to read.
As I've advised elsewhere, find a Support Group. You will find all the information you need, and all the support necessary to make your journey easier for all.