Transgender Support Group
This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.
I told my parents that I'm not a girl.
They've always been very supportive of me, especially in sexuality. I could say to them any day that I'm a lesbian, and they'd say they're fine with it and carry on with their lives.
I never thought I'd get a reaction like this from them.
I mean, they're being nice about it, at least... But they're doing it in all the wrong ways. Like, my mom keeps telling me that I should see the bright side of being a girl and that I should look at the positives and see all the great things about women. Really, that's about the same thing as telling me all the perks of being a doctor. Yeah, I'm sure it's an excellent vocation, but it's just not for me. I don't want to be a doctor, no matter how great they are.
I just don't want to be a girl. I don't care about the bright side.
Not to mention, they're either treating it like a joke or just ignoring it. They're continuing to call me endearing terms like, "princess" and my mom keeps trying to buy me girl's clothing. And, the other night when I said to them, "Good night, parents," before going to bed, my mom said, "Good night... Uh... What do I call her?" And then she started laughing.
What's worse is that they're now forcing me to leave my current therapist in order to see a "professional" about my "gender issues". My mom did say that I could go back to my old therapist after trying this new one first, but... Shouldn't that be my choice? I don't want this. They're trying to make me forget that I feel this way. Instead of accepting it and molding their lives to it, they're forcing ME to change.
I don't know what to say to them to make them understand that I'm serious, this is what I want to do, and I don't NEED a professional to "teach me how to love my body" like they tell me I do. I don't love this body. I will never love this body until I can make it what it was supposed to be.
Does anyone know what I can say to them to just make them stop tring to control the situation?
They've always been very supportive of me, especially in sexuality. I could say to them any day that I'm a lesbian, and they'd say they're fine with it and carry on with their lives.
I never thought I'd get a reaction like this from them.
I mean, they're being nice about it, at least... But they're doing it in all the wrong ways. Like, my mom keeps telling me that I should see the bright side of being a girl and that I should look at the positives and see all the great things about women. Really, that's about the same thing as telling me all the perks of being a doctor. Yeah, I'm sure it's an excellent vocation, but it's just not for me. I don't want to be a doctor, no matter how great they are.
I just don't want to be a girl. I don't care about the bright side.
Not to mention, they're either treating it like a joke or just ignoring it. They're continuing to call me endearing terms like, "princess" and my mom keeps trying to buy me girl's clothing. And, the other night when I said to them, "Good night, parents," before going to bed, my mom said, "Good night... Uh... What do I call her?" And then she started laughing.
What's worse is that they're now forcing me to leave my current therapist in order to see a "professional" about my "gender issues". My mom did say that I could go back to my old therapist after trying this new one first, but... Shouldn't that be my choice? I don't want this. They're trying to make me forget that I feel this way. Instead of accepting it and molding their lives to it, they're forcing ME to change.
I don't know what to say to them to make them understand that I'm serious, this is what I want to do, and I don't NEED a professional to "teach me how to love my body" like they tell me I do. I don't love this body. I will never love this body until I can make it what it was supposed to be.
Does anyone know what I can say to them to just make them stop tring to control the situation?
As for your parents wanting you to see a "professional" about your "gender issues" I believe it is just them trying their best to make sure you are being properly taken care of. Maybe this professional specializes in trans issues, and for that reason they would like you to go.... Then again, if they actually said that the reason they are sending you to see this person is to have them "teach you how to love your body" then that does draw some major red flags in my opinion and you should definitely try to speak to another adult about what is going on.
I could see how your parents reactions towards your gender issues are anything but supportive. I was also seeing that you belong to a sexual abuse board so (hear me out) such issue could literally make you dislike your body in addition to your gender issues.
I do think that seeing a therapist could help you clarify how the sexual abuse can overlap the gender issues. As for loving your body, I hate to tell you, you'll have to learn to do that whether you are a boy or a girl.Whether you transition or not, it is paramount to a healthy life.
In order, to do that you will need professional help. Also, I believe you are too young to start transitioning and as it is right now for you. you will need several years to deal with the other issues that are highlighted in the groups where you currently post, and you know that those are.
All those thing need to be worked out and see if you are still having gender dysphoria because one of the effects of sexual abuse can be gender dysphoria, mild cases but nonetheless, extreme dislike for one's gender because it is the gender that caused the abuse.
And you also need to be properly diagnosed by a gender specialist before anything else can be done about it and you need to fit a specific criteria and that can only be done after the other issues have been addressed.
Hope this helps,
Wolf (FTM)
I know what its like to have parents that say they support you, but then try to change your mind about who and what you are. I am 31 and even though like you I told my parents I am not a girl they still treat me like one.
My friends call me Danny and my parents call me Tiff. I have learned to accept that this is hard on my family, and that they express it in ways that can make it harder on me, but with my friends, and my Higher Power I can get through the hard times.
I know its hard to do, but wolf is right you do have to come to terms with your physical self.
I am a FTM and have a naturally accuring high T count which allows me to have a deeper voice, facial hair, and unfortunately a slightly reseding hair line, but I also have a DDD chest which means I can't bind cause then I cant breath. I have had to come to terms with this.
I hope I was able to help you in some way. Hang in there and remember if nothing else you have friends here that care.