What you are talking about (transition) is far from cheap, so you really need to look at the cost of what you are doing first. Second, you need to look at the laws in your state, your insurance and a number of about 800 other things that may make it far more affordable than you think it is.

From there, this entire conversation for the rest is between you and your therapist. they are the only one who is going to be able to help you. They should already know what and how the hormone thing will play out as they should (assuming you have one who knows what they are doing) have already seen other clients go through the same thing. They should be able to give you some guidance depending on how much you are willing to take.

What you have to understand is even IF you started hormones today, you won't see any effects for about 6-12 months and it will be another year or two until the rest of the world sees any changes. There may be some mood changes, but largely the physical aspects take a long time and there is no quick fix. Again your therapist should have gone over all of this with you.

Clothing, this one is one I have a hard time with. The fact of the matter is, women are allowed to where whatever the heck they want. So whatever you walk around in from day to day now... guess what, there is a cis woman who likely walks around in the exact same thing. Clothing is not really going to change anything, nor is it going to allow you to be your female self. There is far more to being a woman than the clothing. The fact is that if you already see yourself as a woman to the extent you say here, then you should be showing it openly regardless of clothing or anything else on a day to day basis. Hormones, clothing, surgery, none of those is going to have any greater effect than that. If you are still afraid to show who you truly are while dressed as you do now, then you really again need to work with your therapist. I suggest that you go to a mall and sit most the day and observe. I think you are going to see women wearing all sorts of things and many will be wearing things that would not be considered "ladies wear".

I doubt this has been of any help to you and for that I am sorry. I can only tell you what I have experienced and what I know from my own perspective as I have done above. I think really a lot of this is controllable through within you and some self exploration. You and your therapist really need to handle that together.

Hello, Brittany. I just created my profile yesterday, so it's a work-in-progress, like all of us-works in progress. Internal humor is a survival tool for me, so I'll slip into tent-revival meeting mode to say, "I SEE THAT HAND!" I saw your hand when I read your words asking for help. It's only fair to you, so here's me in a nutshell:
I'm just past 60, transmale.
I identify as the following-Christian. This means different things to different people. It means I have a personal theological belief system. Within that statement, the following is true for me:
I'm not a Bible-thumping nutbag.
I don't impose my personal beliefs on anyone. If asked, I'll explain them, but only on request.
Nobody answers to me.
All knowledge and wisdom will not die with me.
I'm not hard-wired to the Almighty.
Some other things that are axiomatic for me:
Whatever a person chooses to do is right because it's right for THAT person. I'm not anyone else and I'm not in anyone else's situation.
I haven't "arrived."
I don't judge, criticize, or take anything personally, I don't intend anything personally.
Personal choices are precisely that-personal.

I'm sorry to be so lengthy-finding this site was like discovering fire. We can't be lumped together with LGB. I was so hoping to encounter another atypical-gender person wanting extended communication and you seem to. I'm not a degreed clinician or anything special, I'm a unique individual with unique experiences, just like you and everyone else here. I want to ask you-would you help me? We can all learn from each other, empower each other, draw strength from each other and share ourselves with each other. I see this happening here.

You extended your hand and I'm extending mine to you. whatmeworry123@yahoo.com if you choose to take it.

Hi Brittany, that is good news to know that you have a therapist, to help you. It would be a good idea to do some research to see wither your hometown community has a Lgbtq center, a support group place where you can go in person, the building has a restroom that you can change into your clothes, to be your true self.

Hello again. If you did try, my email advised me of trouble loading a 'no subject' email, so please try again. If you didn't, cool, and I apologize for the lunacy. My offer stands. Last contact, I 'pinky' swear. From the movie "Stand By Me."