Transgender Support Group

This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.

1,877 Members

2,838 Posts

0 Online

Cbayne914 02/02/2013

Before I start, I would just like to say I am thankful for finally finding a site where I can be open about myself. I'd like to give a little background before stating my problem.

So about me a little, I don't have many friends and I'm a pretty shy person, which for the last few years has caused me to go into depression. There's more to that, but that's not what this is about. Anyways, since I was about 14-15 I had dressed in my mother's clothes often wanting to be a girl. I did that for about a year and then stopped once I got caught. I still often wonder it about however.

Well last weekend I came across a TV fiction story site that I had once forgot about and started reading a story that I loved. This time around it gave me a completely different feeling. I started wondering about my life. Where my future was going to take me, and what I really wanted in life.

It made me wonder if maybe I was the wrong gender. I tried contacting the author of the story, but no luck getting a reply yet. Anyways, I don't really know what to do anymore.

I have been contemplating if maybe SRS is where my future lies, but I'm not completely sure. I don't want to start a huge path just because I read a couple fictional stories about it.

My main problem right now, is trying to figure out how to tell my parents that I should probably start seeing a therapist. We aren't a very financially well family, so I don't know how to tell them that I think seeing a therapist is right for me. My mom knows that there are problems I have that I can't address with her, but neither one of us really wants to talk about it. And though they never really bash LGBT, I'm not really sure they are in favor of it either.

The fortunate news for me, is that I am still in college until May of next year. So I really don't think I would want to start a path of SRS while I am still in school.I have a lot of time to think about what I want to do in my life, but I just need direction in what I should do.

Thanks for reading everyone. I appreciate any advice

WyndWytch 02/04/2013

well the very first thing i would do in your case is if you want to see a therapist, do some searching for one in your area that handles transgender matters specifically. Far as your parents, just tell them you wish to see this person to see if you can get another problem (like your depression) addressed. that way you can give time for you and the therapist to see if you are transgendered. As you are over 18, your parents cant get info from the therapist or anything without your consent and so you also have that protection. Depending on if you have insurance or not, there is also the chance insurance may cover that part. Sometimes the "medical necessity" clause works in our favor. Also if you are going to a university currently, some have staff therapists and psychiatrists you can see. I don't know about your school though. If you do end up deciding with your therapists help, it is a long path to get to SRS. So just warning you ahead of time. I would suggest that you look up the Standards of Care at http://www.wpath.org/publications_standards.cfm. It will give you an idea of what you will have ahead of you to get to a point of being able to get SRS. Hope this helps.

Cbayne914 02/05/2013

Thanks, I'm currently seeking out therapists online, but don't know really which kind I should be seeking. I got a list of 25 around my area that say they deal with transgender issues, but when I click on their page it doesn't really say that. So I'm not sure what to look for

deleted_user 02/06/2013

Here is a link might be of help to you: http://www.lauras-playground.com/

Cbayne914 02/06/2013

Thanks Rhonda, I checked it out a little. Mostly looking at the gender therapists they have included. I'll have to give it a thorough lookover. But it looks like a good site. So thank you :)

akumumasochist 03/12/2013

even if you can't find a therapist; i have read about transgender in many books. i first learned about it in a reference book while doing research about rape (odd how they're in the same book) and it gave a lot of good books about it along with facts and other things that might be helpful.
sorry if i am being no help.

Cbayne914 03/12/2013

No no if was nice of you to respond :) But I have found a therapist. We met last week. Now I'm trying to start hormones and find a doctor, but aren't having much luck. But thank you :)

deleted_user 03/13/2013

Things that you need to know before starting hormones, first thing that you will need a gender therapist, the time period is no longer than 6 months, this should give you enough time to think about your transition, and develop a trust between yourself, and the treating therapist. After the 6 months is completed, the therapist should be clear to explain about what your diagnose is, if you are truly transgender. You will need a letter from the therapist, once the 6 months is completed, the letter should include what the diagnose is, and written approval, that you are ready to start hormone therapy (HRT).. that letter will follow you the rest of your life, and keep it in a safe place, that it might be used latter on in court, such as name change documents or srs.
The first link I'll share with you is a glbtq clinic in New York, for hormone therapy: http://callen-lorde.org/contact-us/

the 2nd link is a list of resources from my website:
http://butterflylgbtq.createaforum.com/general-discussion/resources/msg2/#msg2

good luck
Rhonda

Cbayne914 03/13/2013

Thanks Rhonda. You mentioned a lot of interesting things in there. Because right now I am seeing a therapist. Wouldn't say she's specifically gender, but she is helping me with that. And she is the one who recommended I research doctors and schedule some appointments. She mentioned the letter of recommendation too.

I've been looking at GLBT clinics in Chicago since I'm only about an hour away from there. But I'll look into those :) Thank you for sharing!

deleted_user 03/18/2013

well the first steps the hardest one of all them thts telling your parents my family we have loads of problems to but i told them my dad therted to beat my ass said i cant trastion as long as i live with him but thts the normal reaction but telling them anit easy but i still hide my feeling when im around them about me being trasngnderd but ya i wish u good luck

Cbayne914 03/19/2013

Thanks, yeah I haven't told them yet. Not sure when I will. I'd more like to be further along in the transition when I tell them instead of saying "Yeah I want to be a female" without having even started yet. But thanks :)

deleted_user 03/19/2013

Whenever you find it difficult, to come out to your family members, prehaps taking out a notebook and pen, and write a coming out letter to your parents, might be a good idea Once the letter is out in the open, all you have to do is wait for their responce, and then take it from there.

Cbayne914 03/19/2013

Oh yeah, I'm sure I'll be spending days thinking of exactly what to say. That's usually how I go about things. Heck, I even went over in my mind how I'd come out and tell my therapist. Actually went over fairly well. So maybe it won't be too difficult. But I really don't want to tell them anything to I'm really in the transition process.

Right now, I'm just looking for doctors. Which is hard for me because I hate driving. And can't easily get to where the major GLBT communities are. Apparently, there isn't much of one where I'm from. I tried emailing these doctors that work primarily on women. I simply asked if they do male-to-female hormones. Well first off all I should say that there are 2 doctors about 5 minutes away from me at a medical center that I attend that does the treatment. But I don't know how to go about asking them. Back to the women doctors, one of them is the doctor that does HRT, so thats why I emailed but haven't heard back yet.

Back to the topic at hand. I don't want to come out to my parents and say "I want to be a female" when I haven't actually started anything yet. I don't know if that makes sense. I think I'd just like to be at a point where the transition has already taken place. That way that can't come back and say "No". Kind of forcing them into a position where they have to support me really lol.

deleted_user 03/19/2013

i am 58 I have known all my life so complicated ,,, please take your time ,, you have much of that ahead making swift decisions would be hard to change but you have alot of time to think , now therapy etc just a retired teacher who has had a very complex life,,, as an artist musician mental health I had to hide during my entire career let alone this,, but I give you my utmost support I have struggeled with depression since I came out of the shute,, and life has been so so hard ,, you know I got breast cancer ended up with a double masectomy I many times wonder ,, why transgenders who are in the closet get cancer ,, anyway just my 2 cents,,, i miss my students you remind me of someone I taught in band he was a very special gtifted young man, you sound very intelligent ,, BTW I was born a biological female so hard to get labeled butch all my ife it hurts I am with you all the way no matter what ,, warrior

Cbayne914 03/20/2013

Thank you so much :) That really means a lot to me! And thank you for sharing your story :)

Join the Conversation