My son was diagnosed with Tourette's syndrome in the third grade. After years of blinking, twitching, talking and moving about disruptively, poor eye contact, appearance of not paying attention to others when they spoke,intermittent behavioral issues and being misunderstood by teachers, coaches, family, and friends, I wrote these two poems about my perception of what my son was going through. I did not share them with anyone...

Trapped inside Myself and Bedtime Ritual where the first two poems I have ever written and last two poems I have ever written! I did share them with my son and he smiled and said softly, "wow, I always knew you understood me, but now I know you understand what I feel!"

I would like to share them with now with the hopes that I will be able to help parents understand their children's feelings and also to help children realize that their parent's may understand their feelings as well.

Trapped Inside Myself

I am trapped inside my own body,
A body that does what it once to do,
A body that has a mind of its own,
A body that ignores me when I cry for it to stop moving, stop talking!
How can I hope that somebody else will listen to me when my own body wont?
What a horrible kid I must be if I even ignore myself!
Please help me to free me from myself!


Bedtime Ritual

Each night I lie in bed wide awake as the rest of the world sleeps.
My face tight from dried tears.
My throat dry and sore from coughing, talking and squeaking.
My muscles limp from twitching and jerking.
My head in pain from twisting and jerking.
My ears ringing from hurtful mockery.
My feelings numb from coping.
My heart pounding faster and faster, louder and louder as I tried to catch a breath of air
Exhausted, I finally go to sleep.

My son is now 19. I miss putting my son to sleep at night pretending to sprinkle sleepy sand into his eyes and patting him to sleep. When he is able to come home to visit, I look forward to hear a knock on my door.... Mom I can't sleep can I have some sleepy sand:)