Hugs for you Pam. Trust your instincts. Why he wont listen must be very frustrating, when its only for his own good.

Pam, sorrythis is happening, stay strong. and mom radar is usually right . hugs to you a million of em
love
norma

Hugs Pam. I don't know why he won't listen to you. Could it be a control thing? It's the one thing he has left he can control and make a decision about? I would never condone it here ;) but someone posted and I can't remember who but they were spiking the BI loved one's morning coffee. Can you put a restriction on him - that if he wants to live with you and receive your help he needs to take his meds?

Wouldn't it be nice if there were magic wand kinds of answers? I'll be thinking about you.

Pam you have a double whammy going. Almost without exception kids never listen to parents about drugs after they have used. And number two you got the TBI thing going on. Larry almost never listens to me. He turns me off with, "Well, I'm SORRY!" or "OK". Sister you just gotta hang in there and do your best. There are no easy answers and at least you know we will listen.

Wildflower - my dh is exactly the same now.

Pam, I can completely relate, and I'm sorry you're going through this! I agree with the other ladies here that if your intuition is telling you something, then you're probably right. My Mom-radar has been 100% accurate in knowing when my son is involved in something troubling, and I honestly believe that had I not acted on those instincts, today my son would either be in jail, a homeless addict, or dead. Fortunately I always seemed to catch things early enough that my son wasn't so far invested in his behaviors that I couldn't get him out.

Today -- and I mean this very day as I am nowhere near the point where I would presume that this is the norm -- things are better. The only thing that's really worked for us to hold over our son's head is the fear of being kicked out of the house. If that's all you have, I recommend you use it, too; but you have to be prepared to follow through. We did -- several times -- and he always came back with the intention of following our rules. When he fell short, we kicked him out again. He's been home now for almost two years now, and while things haven't been nor are they currently all rosy and wonderful, it's a huge improvement from where we were 3 and 4 years ago!

Hang in there, follow your instincts, and do what you have to do. Meanwhile, we're here to support you in any way that we can.

Sending good thoughts and hugs your way,
HayMom

Haymom,
We have talked about doing kicking him out. We may have to. I just dont know anymore what is right and what is wrong. His sense of responsibility truly sucks , he was suppose to get up and go to his work release program yesterday. I woke him up and left for work....he did not go, as he fell back asleep. He was suppose to go today. I woke him up twice but not sure he even got up and going. If he does not go they will issue a bench warrant for his arrest.
Part of his issues is the lack of being able to sleep. He just does not sleep well at night, I suspect some of that has to do with the tbi and the other is from ptsd. Hell, many drugs too.
Then I get myself all freaked out reading about all these football and hockey players who have committed suicide probably due to brain injuries they incurred from their sport. I guess it just validates all the shit people go thru when they injury their brains. I can only hope that something positive comes from their deaths.
I guess today is my day to feel scattered , frustrated and conflicted............thank goodness it is my friday and I will have a 3 day weekend.

hugs...pam

My God, Pam, but you're taking me back. . . my son also has also had a pretty serious sleep issue since his accident. It was compounded in the early years by alcohol, late nights, no structured schedule, etc. He slept until noon one day when he was supposed to be at his job at 9:00, and on another job, he feel asleep during break and didn't wake up for 3 hours. The sleep became more manageable when he stopped drinking, but he still wasn't sleeping well. He's been asking his neuropsych for sleep meds for about a year -- they tried melatonin and Benadryl, and each had a small effect for only about a week or two. He finally DEMANDED (according to him -- he doesn't let me come in to see the doctors with him anymore) meds when he went on Monday, and they prescribed Trazadone. He has slept like a baby for 3 nights in a row, and we will see if that continues. Hopefully he won't experience any side effects as he is now on 3 major medications (mood stabilizer, stimulating anti-depressant, sleep aid)! And at the age of 20 -- pretty scary. However, we've seen such huge benefits from the meds. They seem to make up for what his brain can't do alone anymore.

The scariest thing we ever did was kick our son out of the house, so I completely understand how you are feeling. Things probably could've gone in the completely opposite direction for our son, but we lucked out, and it helped him. I can only hope and pray that if you ever get to the point, the same will be true for your son.

Enjoy your 3-day weekend, Pam. You have definitely earned it.

Many hugs,
HayMom

Pam, it is very hard and frustrating when a loved-one with a BI has the ability to make their own decisions, yet they don't have the ability to reason or make 'good' decisions and they won't listen to anyone who can guide them in the right direction. Definitely listen to your instincts. I have noticed with my husband that stress, loss of sleep and change in routine seriously negatively effects him! Hang in there! Your in my thoughts & prayers! Love & Peace, RunGirl

Moms have callouses on yhier k eesfrom spending dsomuch time on them in prayer oversons. I pray foryour situation and that it improves dear