The Tea Room Community Group
This is a private group by invitation only. It is a group for those who have a loved one with a brain injury. This group was not founded by me but I will serve as the founder temporarily as one of the first members.
My son reports to jail for a probation violation tomorrow. He got pulled over for taking a wrong turn on a newly closed on ramp (dec 2011). The cops noticed that he had a rx bottle in his jeep. It was just filled 2 days prior but only contained 10 of the 90 prescribed. I had the rest of them.....for good reason. I had the pharmacy give me 2 rx bottles thinking that it would be better for him to have a bottle rather than his valium in his pocket. So he might be looking at a DUI or a wet and reckless charge ( that part of court is not over yet). Because he has non-strikable felony he gets a probation violation because he got pulled over. Not sure if the jail will give him jail time or work release. My concern with work release is that he has no car........which then falls on my husband and my shoulders. Then what about the days he is down with migraines? This really is coming at a bad time. Son has been doing very well for a good couple of months. The stress could just take him over then edge so I am worried. I personally am exhausted. I swear if not for this damn tbi my life would be a breeze..........There are days when I am just amazed that this is my life. My son was a pretty good kid not a dang felon. Just a sad sad situation with much unknown in our future.
hugs...pam
hugs...pam
sorry this has happened.I hope ir doesnt make things worse for you.
Things wouuld be simp;er and we would spend more time wirrying about other things.
Praying that ball will work out for you.
In our situation, I found my son's probation officers (unfortunately he's had 3 now for different violations in different courts) to be allies. Since I had to drive my son to his probation meetings, I always went in with him. It just wasn't an option, or he'd have to find his own way there, which he couldn't. I made sure I explained everything to the POs, and they were very aware of my son's bi. They never excused the behavior, yet they were on his side in explaining the mitigating circumstances.
Now in your son's case, you have the direct evidence -- 2 Rx bottles -- which you can show the PO. The PO is the one who presents the case to the judge. Also, a recently closed ramp for someone with bi can be problematic. Routines and structure and all that.
I really do not think your son is looking at either jail time or work release, as long as you can get the PO on your side. Hopefully you have already developed a good relationship with the PO, and if you haven't yet, start doing so immediately. This is an important person to have on your side.
I wish you all the best. Like yours, my son was nowhere near being a felon before bi. As I explained in a special education to all of his teachers because his behavior was so ridiculous inappropriate upon return to school after his accident, my son was in trouble in school exactly 3 times in his life: in kindergarten for saying he was going to bring what he thought was a 'gun' to school to show to a friend (a rubber bow and error); in 4th grade for throwing gummy bears on the bus, and in 8th grade for acting like a goofball during graduation rehearsal. A year after his accident he's saying things like "Somebody oughta kill that b*tch" to his chemistry teacher, and he's getting arrested for many things -- including a felony, (which thankfully was reduced to a lesser charge.) So very sad to see our kids change in such a dramatic way, through no fault of their own.
I am so happy to hear that your son has been doing well, and for several months now -- that's terrific! This, too, should work in his favor as he goes in front of the judge today.
Wishing you all the best. Please let us know how things work out -
Many hugs,
HayMom
Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod -- please don't let this happen. I'm now praying for you, too.
Hugs,
HayMom
I wish he had a regular probation officer but he does not.....they have changed about 4 times on him. He was told after court last week to report to probation, so he did and they could not figure out why he was there. They are not concerned with him.........too low on the so called totem pole and not worried about him. I believe that they feel he was driving impaired from his medication and that is something they can and probably will charge him with. No way to prove otherwise at this point. But I think I fogot to mention that he had a friends (aka POS, if you get my drift)) with him, he had a oxycotin pill in his backpack. He says it is not his backpack....therefore it must be my sons. Whatever at this point, we need to just get it over with. Maybe it is kind of a blessing....maybe he has learned something ......only time will tell.
We have no control of what the jail people are going to do.........work release or serve 60 days ?!
I agree not the best place for him for many reasons, no medication given, in contact with douche bags and he will probably have a huge anxiety attack. Last time he was in jail the judge ordered he get his medications.......that did not happen because the jail does not believe what his doctor says and have a doctor talk with you via video phone. So during this 5 minute phone consult the doctor determined that son did not need his medication. But on the other hand if son did not really explain that he has had a TBI and has alot of issues from that then I can not blame the doctor either.
The system is not a good one, I feel it just sets most up for failure. Law enforcement people dont care either. I will know more later today. If he is lucky he will skate by on his charm. :)
hugs....pam
Hugs,
HayMom
I think that between my husband and I we are going to either meet or write to our District Attorney, we are tired of all the crap that has gone on. Giving that my sons circumstances have been caused by there office I think that they need an ear full! There is so much more to our story as you can imagine from his assault that I could write a novel. A definite miscarriage of justice !
hugs...pam
This is so unfair! You might want to consider an actual face-to-face meeting w/the DA. So, I would schedule an appt asap. I feel that when you meet w/someone face-to-face, they actually have to listen and deal w/your issues. Maybe some documentation of your son's injury could be presented too.
I sure hope this gets resolved . . . jail is not the place for him.