You may remember that almost 2 weeks ago, my doc started me on the gradual switch from Oxycodone to Methadone. Since I haven't responded very well to the class of opiates she's been prescribing, she thought the Methadone might do better since it works on different brain receptors.

Here's my problem. For almost 2 weeks, I've been taking 5 mg. a day of the Methadone and at the same time, she cut my Oxy in half. Thursday morning, I'm supposed to increase the Methadone to 7.5 mg. and cut the Oxy in half again...that leaves me with only 10 mg of Oxy a day!

My pain level shot up and has remained miserable so far so I can't even imagine how bad it will be Thursday and the next 2 weeks. A couple days into this, I spoke with my Pharacist who encouraged me to call my doc and request that I be allowed a little more Oxy while the dose of Methadone is like pissing on a forest fire. Well...I added that last part, but I wouldn't hesitate to say that to my doc.

So I left a specific message for my doc about a week and a half ago. She completely ignored it. Soooo...I continued to follow her lame instructions. Today, my pain has been horrendous and I still had to work a little. My legs cramped into paindful knots this afternoon and I can't even describe how bad the left leg that has Sciatica and Tendonitis was My knees have Arthritis and the left kneecap doesn't stay in place...sorry this is getting so long.

I almost called the clinic today because I was at the 'take me to the hospital' point. Not that it would do any good at our local ER, but if I lived near a decent hospital, I might have gone

I'm killing my neck and torn shoulder by blabbing on so long. One more thing and this where I need help.

I'm terrified at the idea of lowering my Oxy by half again since the increase in Methadone is so small and hasn't done a thing for me yet. Do I call the clinic again? How do I make them take this seriously? I feel like leaving a person who's trying to work and maintain a house in this kind of pain, is almost CRIMINAL!

My life is shit the way it's going. I've always taken my meds exactly as prescribed no matter how little good they did. Right now...I'm feeling panic from this amount of pain and am considering just taking what I have to for some bit of relief.

Again...I've written enough to feel I should dedicate this novel to someone! Thanks you for reading, if you made it through. I'm feeling very scared and vulnerable.

Hugs...