The Hen House Community Group
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I have a hard time with it. And I NEVER hardly EVER ask someone for help.
Why is that? Are any of you like that?
But......I LOVE LOVE LOVE to help others!! I mean it really makes my day!
So what makes me think I am the only one that feels that way?
And what a blessing it is and how good it makes me feel!!!!
What makes me think I'm the only one that deserves to feel that way?
So knowing this.....why is it still so hard for me to ask for help or except something someone does for me?
I'd love to hear your answers
I want to share a story with you that happened to me yesterday.
I'm such an emotional wreck! I don't usually cry easily, but, I went out to check the sunflowers that I planted up against the old barn....the chickens had eaten them all. It just made me start crying. I manage to get myself in the car and my first thoughts were: "I hope I make it to the hospital and back without getting a flat" . I knew my tires were getting really really bad but just haven't had the money to put new tires on.
So I get to the hospital and my brother leaves the room to smoke, when he came back in, he asked mom and I if we would step outside a min. because he wanted to talk to his wife alone a min. So we did, then he came out and asked me if I would take him to town, I said sure. He has me take him through town and to a tire store. Goes in, comes back out and tells me to pull my car up under the shade and shut the car off. So again I do. Then he tells me that he has paid for them to put two new tires on my car. I start crying all over again. ....and then I couldn't stop. So very sweet of him.
I cry all the way home. I've got so much going on in my life right now and his kindness meant much more to me than just tires. The tires were a very big thing but....it was just , I don't know.
I make it back to town, get gas, go home and by then I have a headache and my eyes hurt and are swollen from crying, so I turn off all the phones and go to bed. I actually fell asleep!!!
When I wake up, I don't open my eyes, but I'm thinking my chest feels heavy, I guess I should take some more allergy medicine and use my inhaler. I could breath ok, so that was kinda funny. When I finally decided I should get up, I open my eyes and find the reason my chest is so heavy feeling :) I have two cats on my chest :-) They are so sweet :) I'm so blessed to have found them at the pound.
Anyway, I tried and tried to get my brother to let me pay him back. He wouldn't. This made him feel good to be able to do it. I know that, but still I feel so guilty! I kept on and on with him asking him to let me pay him back until he finally said "Sis, do you remember that money you loaned me?" What money!! I absolutely could not remember until he reminded me. I had never thought anything about the money. well he never had. But he told me to consider it a pay back if I had to but that wasn't why he did it.
I just can't shut up. I just can't except help or charity without feeling guilty! Why is that? Why do we try to take the blessing away from someone else? We should feel ashamed. I guess I do, but I still can't get passed the guilt:(
How do you handle it? Better than me I hope :)
Why is that? Are any of you like that?
But......I LOVE LOVE LOVE to help others!! I mean it really makes my day!
So what makes me think I am the only one that feels that way?
And what a blessing it is and how good it makes me feel!!!!
What makes me think I'm the only one that deserves to feel that way?
So knowing this.....why is it still so hard for me to ask for help or except something someone does for me?
I'd love to hear your answers
I want to share a story with you that happened to me yesterday.
I'm such an emotional wreck! I don't usually cry easily, but, I went out to check the sunflowers that I planted up against the old barn....the chickens had eaten them all. It just made me start crying. I manage to get myself in the car and my first thoughts were: "I hope I make it to the hospital and back without getting a flat" . I knew my tires were getting really really bad but just haven't had the money to put new tires on.
So I get to the hospital and my brother leaves the room to smoke, when he came back in, he asked mom and I if we would step outside a min. because he wanted to talk to his wife alone a min. So we did, then he came out and asked me if I would take him to town, I said sure. He has me take him through town and to a tire store. Goes in, comes back out and tells me to pull my car up under the shade and shut the car off. So again I do. Then he tells me that he has paid for them to put two new tires on my car. I start crying all over again. ....and then I couldn't stop. So very sweet of him.
I cry all the way home. I've got so much going on in my life right now and his kindness meant much more to me than just tires. The tires were a very big thing but....it was just , I don't know.
I make it back to town, get gas, go home and by then I have a headache and my eyes hurt and are swollen from crying, so I turn off all the phones and go to bed. I actually fell asleep!!!
When I wake up, I don't open my eyes, but I'm thinking my chest feels heavy, I guess I should take some more allergy medicine and use my inhaler. I could breath ok, so that was kinda funny. When I finally decided I should get up, I open my eyes and find the reason my chest is so heavy feeling :) I have two cats on my chest :-) They are so sweet :) I'm so blessed to have found them at the pound.
Anyway, I tried and tried to get my brother to let me pay him back. He wouldn't. This made him feel good to be able to do it. I know that, but still I feel so guilty! I kept on and on with him asking him to let me pay him back until he finally said "Sis, do you remember that money you loaned me?" What money!! I absolutely could not remember until he reminded me. I had never thought anything about the money. well he never had. But he told me to consider it a pay back if I had to but that wasn't why he did it.
I just can't shut up. I just can't except help or charity without feeling guilty! Why is that? Why do we try to take the blessing away from someone else? We should feel ashamed. I guess I do, but I still can't get passed the guilt:(
How do you handle it? Better than me I hope :)
But, like you, I have learned that there is a great joy in doing for others.
So..like you, again...I am learning that others do feel the same....and I am depriving them of that joy if I am unaccepting of those gifts.
I'm learning a lot about this on these boards. I find it difficult to ask for help..
And I'm so very grateful when I get support. I know I have found comfort here in being able to make others smile and sometimes laugh...or just listen to them cry......so...who an I to believe others don't find that same comfort in doing that for me?
Not always easy..somehow, I've come to believe if I'm not " funny"..... I'm tiresome. ( we'll..I kind of am..it votes the hell out of ME when I'm serious)
DS did.
I'm really starting to think DS has a personal thing against me..:-) :-) :-)
DS did.
I'm really starting to think DS has a personal thing against me..:-) :-) :-)
DS did.
I'm really starting to think DS has a personal thing against me..:-) :-) :-)
That is it though.....when someone gives it is from their heart like a child gives. It may be larger but whatever it is it comes from what they want for you. So we should accept it that way. It isn't charity. It is a gift.
Ah ha moment!! It isn't charity. It is a gift. That is it Dixie. It is a gift. Receive as a gift. Not charity. A gift.
Your brother is wonderful. He gave you a gift in the middle of May. Someday you will give him a gift as you have many other times before. That is life.
love and peace
hippy
ps
hope this makes sense
pps
jancam i think DS really is out to get ya!! peep peep :)
For sure, accepting what others offer makes them feel great and is indeed a blessing to them, as hippy points out. I guess this is something I should work on.
What I do that makes me feel better about it all is fix him lunch every now and then. He enjoys the home cooked meal and a little time with me and I get to feel justified. You could do this or make him his fav dessert or just do something special for him. This goes for anyone that helps you.
Just know you must be someone special to him or he wouldn't do this for you. That's what I keep telling myself!
Hugs,
Toni
I've learned to accept a few years ago the problem then was the person that was doing the giving always kept track of his good deeds and expected something in return. I believe giving/helping others unconditionally without looking for recognition is the ultimate most Godly thing a person can do.
Asking for help is the hardest thing to do. I still have trouble doing that. Rejection is hard to swallow. Great topic I think. That was a very sweet gesture giving you 2 new tires to keep you safe out on the road.
Healing hugs to all my clucking hen friends
I've learned to accept a few years ago the problem then was the person that was doing the giving always kept track of his good deeds and expected something in return. I believe giving/helping others unconditionally without looking for recognition is the ultimate most Godly thing a person can do.
Asking for help is the hardest thing to do. I still have trouble doing that. Rejection is hard to swallow. Great topic I think. That was a very sweet gesture giving you 2 new tires to keep you safe out on the road.
Healing hugs to all my clucking hen friends
I've learned to accept a few years ago the problem then was the person that was doing the giving always kept track of his good deeds and expected something in return. I believe giving/helping others unconditionally without looking for recognition is the ultimate most Godly thing a person can do.
Asking for help is the hardest thing to do. I still have trouble doing that. Rejection is hard to swallow. Great topic I think. That was a very sweet gesture giving you 2 new tires to keep you safe out on the road.
Healing hugs to all my clucking hen friends
I've learned to accept a few years ago the problem then was the person that was doing the giving always kept track of his good deeds and expected something in return. I believe giving/helping others unconditionally without looking for recognition is the ultimate most Godly thing a person can do.
Asking for help is the hardest thing to do. I still have trouble doing that. Rejection is hard to swallow. Great topic I think. That was a very sweet gesture giving you 2 new tires to keep you safe out on the road.
Healing hugs to all my clucking hen friends