jc, i just don't allow myself to go there any more. every time i do, i think my head is going to explode. i want the new people to to find an understanding place, but i can't take on the extra stress. please, give yourself a break and go the rooms where there is still harmony and real support.

i hope you know you can vent here and coe back and chat freely.

big hugs to you and open arms!

Jc,

There are many moments I think and feel the same way and my only reason for the most part is there are people that I do want to support and if I am gone they ask what is happening to me.

So I look things over quickly, take a very deep breath, might post something about my stuff and see if the ones I want to support need a hug. It does drive me crazy the comments made that are complete insanity and/or hurtful.

As I remember when Mt. St. Helens our local volcano blew it's top and killed people the volcanologist ( my cousin ) said that is just as if it were human. We cannot let things ferment inside of us without letting off steam and venting or otherwise the build up will kill us. A little venting goes a very long way.

Hugs,
Joanne

thanks, ladies..
haha...I think letting that out kept my head from exploding... :-)
sorry for being dramatic..
just had a moment.
hugs

jc, I'm so glad to see you here. We'll take you venting, kivetching, any old way we can get you. I've answered a few posts over there but mostly stay here. We're a close knit group and you are part of this group too.

You would fit perfect with us on Long Tall Tales! Big Hugs

Vent away, I'm known to go off on a tangent too on occasion here. Kinda like family here, even better then my real one! I know I've been reluctant in that group lately. So I'll just often welcome someone or reply to their post via hug. I even hijacked a post there and realized after i hit the button. Been doing that a lot lately and need to make a mental note to not reply if I haven't sleep in 3 days lol
It's good to see you!! :) Blaine

I had to lol when I read ur post, because I do the same thing. I do it to because:

1. I was once a newbie in that room and it's where I started out.

2. it was once such a supportive and fun room I can't hope but wish it would get back there again.

3. there r still some good people in it that are looking for the same things that I found in 1 and 2.

I pace myself in it though. I tend to point things out in an attempt to support, rather than hugs and such I use to give. It's just not the same.

I really get what I want here. We aren't afraid to express ourselves in everyway. I wish more that felt this way would come on in, but not the bullies! They would be X'd out!

You are a member of the group and free to express yourself and really i'm glad you do, it gets the brain a thinking!

Squishy Hugs!

thank you all so much.

Hello-
I have NEVER been on a social group ever- not face book nothing ever- I have only been on and off ds almost a year, I went stright to CP- because that's what I have is CP and I was in a state of thinking- I would rather be dead! Then to keep living with this chronic pain. I was looking for support!!! I wanted to see how others were coping living and dealing with there pain. When I first got there , I was'nt even sure how to use the site- being new I have to learn the language and such. I do not know all the termaolgy? on the computer. Still not sure- but I will try to learn.
Anyway- I has been over whelming for me and when I first got to CP. People would pm me and say nice things. Then I would see personal things like there were cliques. it was sad because if you were'nt in there group- they would slice your throat- with words!
I seen people attacking others and twisting what they would say or if someone put something down and did not mean for it to come across a certain way- someone else would take it personally.
That Being said I was and still am affraid to post anything sometimes! because I'm affraid I will word it wrong or someone will think I meant it for them.. ?
So I would go away! then I would come back- because I would get lonely and I' did and still have so much pain. I wanted to find people like me- that are sick and see if others were wondering if they were going to live or die? Through all this hell..... I was very sucidal when I joined and NO - ONE -Abosolutly NO one knew that of me until now. I would try to talk and be included and I remember till this day someone was trying to correct me on my disease I have lived with for years- because there son had the samething I had?
Give me a break. I was referring to my situation not her kids! I never said a word- because I don't support stupid with stupid. I Just went away- come back few weeks of more that or a month later....
I give it another chance then disappear again- because you could feel the tension- see the snide remarks- and the- inside back handed compliments. Sad again :( Honestly I would'nt even know what was going on half the time.
sometimes, I would figure some of it out.
So, I come and say hi give people hugs and wish them well- Because I would see they were hurting such as I was.
I sometimes see people- can't wait until someone says something -so they can pick it a part.
I mean come on! People are coming here to ds because it might be their last hope and are looking for some friends or just someone to understand them. YOU JUST MIGHT BE SAVING A LIFE! That has grandchildren and happy to still have their Grandma or someones mother- sister-brother-aunt- you get what I'am trying to say here. Alot of people don't want you to think they think such dark things like suicide.
Or come from a family that has dark things and they need to get it out and don't want to sit in front of someone looking at them.
I will still be going to CP because that's where I started and when the board is to much I will leave again or not go for a while & I see people over there that need help. and one of them might be the one that felt like me the day I showed up... I have so much love to give and it makes happy to make some else feel better about themselves. I really don't put anything on here and kind of just started saying a little more- because I do need help, it has taken me a long time and I have a lot of things I would like to share someday.Not all will beinterested and that's o'k they don't have to read it. But, I don't want to be affraid to write something someone might beat the crap out of me- with words.
I think I just could not do that to someone because maybe they are here for their last time???
Life is soooo short as it is and I want to go out feeling loved even if it's just someone on the other side of this screen. I mean if someone is here- it's because they are looking for something right?
I know they have the main- "support groups" and then the side- "my groups" like this one. That helps get a little more personal and needed.
Seriously- this is all new to me and I'm starting to figure the language and the rules and the how's of this. PLEASE- no one take this out of text. I mean no harm here and certainly would not want to hurt anyones feelings. because that is not what I'am all about.
I want to get to know others that understand this world of pain- that we have in our life's for some reason or another. I ask above all the time what am I suppose to be doing with this life of pain. Am I suppose to be doing something meaningful with this? I have a plaque hanging on the outside of my door:
That says:" The past can not be changed- but the future is what you want it to be." I try and put my mind there. Because God knows me and my heart. So I pray all the time for direction, sure I screw up here and there- I'am not perfect. I try to be happy and take my mind off this pain I have 24-7. Somedays it's very hard!
I would like to get some guidents from some nice people- that live like this. That's why I come here.
Thank you to the ones who have been so sweet to me and Toni for the invite to come to this group in the first place. I truly what peace and comfort for everyone- no one- -no-one deserves all this pain.
Pain comes in so many different forms. I know some are greater than mine.
If I should have posted this some place else to read- I'am sorry just eduate and PM me where it should have been posted. So I don't get imbarrassed.
Thank you again- I like the people here and really would like to be closer. I have a lot of crap on my plate and have a hard time expressing some days and some good things to share also. I have a hard time- just like others here. There has been days when someone has really touched me by sending a hug that has made me happy to be alive! and I like reading people's funny stories and not so. That's when I like to be there for others and let them know they are important and needed because there are a lot of you out there that have been very important to me and other's. .I know this was long winded- and I'm sorry for that. I'am can be wordy when I do decide to talk :)
God Bless all of you and Thanks again.
Angels2u:)

thank you, Angels.
it's so
nice to hear you opening up so much.

i was like you when I came to the CP site..
didn't know social media at all..
and..didn't know how to keep living with the pain I had.

I hope your post here gets seen

hugs
jc

Angels, you are an asset here in our Circle!!

IMO, it is good to open up here. Please dont feel bad about doing so!

You ARE a very loving, encouraging person.

My personal darkness is so similar to yours. I joke around on here, but many wouldnt believe how dark my real life gets. I think my depression is improved somewhat when Im here in our group.

So thank you, all! Hugs, Dawn

(((((JC))))))..... so believe in how, You and Toni feel, returning that welcome and the support the board provided,.. ummmm,.... provides, (seems a bit awol at the moment) but,... I can't take the weirdness and stress thats going on there at the moment...

Hmmmmmm...... it's quite sad really, a lot of positive and good people, are all staying away too,
Sigh..... all that experience and information that people have is not being shared, that, I think, would be saddest part at the moment..

He He...... so I'm hiding and enjoying the support, good friends and the peace here, Haaaa, the Peace... 8-)

So glad you found the Circle Angels,.... Huge ((((Hugs))))

Admire your strength and courage for playing in there at the moment... Sweet (((JC)))).... xo LOL...

JC,

I feel the same and have not wanted to post at all but didn't want to leave either. Diana convinced me yesterday to come over here and I did. It'sjust hard because there are a few peopleI really care about over there and it's where I first joined over one year ago. So I'msure for know, I'llbe doing double duty, but I'mnot sure.

I'm tired of all the crap over there. I just want to be there to help people and have people there for me. I don't know. It becomes hard sometimes for me to even go there.

Don't mean to complain by any means.

Hugs,

Mary ellen

So glad for my friends here that aren't afraid to open up without fear of being blasted.

There are a few rules, we can't blast each other, but it's pretty open in here.

Angel I think we all feel that darkness with this life we've been dealt with. It's ok for someone to relate to what u say, BUT it's not ok for someone to write a book on their own life when u r explaining ur own trials. I see that too many times in that room. I just ignore the shit out of them. they can read their own journals if they want to hear themselves LOL!

Never b afraid to write what u want! I see it as u r going to have way more supporting u than those negative. ignore the negative and count those supporting u.

bring it on over here we'll help hold u up my friend :) that goes for everyone!

mary ellen I hope u feel the same u r always welcome here for that support. complain all u want this room was created as a safe haven away from that drama!

Huggles!!

Irocket, Yes, I remember those books...that went on for a week :)- or more

Toni,

Thank you for welcoming me here. I appreciate it so much. I was getting to the point where Ididn'twant to come here anymore and I missed being here at the same time. I made so many connections over thepast year which helped me so much and hopefully, I can help others along the way. But the dramaand fighting, and journals and rules,.it was sad.

So thank you again for making me feel so welcomed. I truly appreciate it. Hope you have a low pain, no stress day.

warm hugs,

(((((((()))))))))))

Mary Ellen