Lisa, you may have to talk to the parent, babysitter or guardian of this kid. She just needs to find somewhere else
to play. I wouildn't sacrifice the whole grouip's fun for one child's bullying and nonsense. If you don't get support from the kid's parents, I would just kick her out before she gets near the kids. I don't see this child coming back all sunshine and light although I hope she does. Good luck!

I'd go welcome the parents to the neighborhood and mention the rules of playing in your area. Be straightforward that if any child doesn't follow your rules they are sent home. Mention how she is asserting herself a bit too much "trying to adjust to a new neighborhood" and how it is making everyone uncomfortable. I'd leave it on the note "hope you can make her understand she has to follow the rules so she can join the other children".

I've noticed the lack of manners too! Planet of the Apes might become a reality!

If the hcild's that bratty, odds are her parents aren't necessarily capable of handling her as it is, or do not want to, and believe me, my sis was a bully---I know. So a combination of approaches might work--- go right to the parents, mention the behavior, mention the rules, and ask politely if pershaps the child has a behavioral disorder or other issue---and that if not, you can and will call the police to report the situation to the police and child protective services. Sounds harsh, but if the girl is that out of control, then the parents probably need ome social services help if they don't receive it already.

Luck!

Hi Lisa, as others have mentioned I would go welcome the new neighbors. You should be able to get a feel for how they are. Tell them I'll call her Sally is welcome to come and play in your yard, however due to the amount of children that are always there you've needed to set some guidlines/rules so that everyone is on the same page. I would strongly mention no one is allowed in the pool if an adult is not present. Even if you have to grit your teeth tell them you look forward to getting to know them

On a side note I adopted my son when he was 12 & also took in a foster son about the same age & I had two stepsons who were 10&12 & slightly delayed. I say all this because this little girl is demonstrating behaviors of someone who gets very little love or positive attention at home. With kids & even adults it's better to get negative attention then no attention at all. I realize your plate is already full & she's not your responsibility

It may take a little bit, but I'll bet you dollars to donuts that once she begins to trust you she will settle down. Even just giving her a compliment on her outfit, or how her hair looks watch her eyes brighten. Now I realize there needs to be consequences for bad behavior. I may be off my mark here but I bet all she hears at home is yelling. Try taking her aside and saying Sally you know we have rules here & I really want you to come over to play as I think your really special, but you can't continue to keep doing xyz. I don't know the ages of the other kids but if she's amongst the oldest you could try saying Sally because your a little older the other kids look up to you, but that does not mean you can boss them around. If sometimes you bring treats out to the kids tell her I could really use your help would you please help me to bring these treats out & then thank her for being such a big help, even give her half a hug....meaning you just put one arm across her shoulder and give a little squeeze.

Both my son & foster son were abused in every way you could possibly think of by the time they were four. They acted out much like this little girl. By no means am I saying she's being abused she sounds like a scared kid who is modeling the behavior she sees & gets at home. We all know sometimes it takes a village to raise our kids. If after a few weeks none of the above works, I would then tell her "Sally I'm really glad when you come over to play, but I've told you the rules several times and you don't follow them so as sad as it makes me you may not come over to play anymore until your ready to apologize to everyone for how you've treated them & you must follow the rules in order to come back and play.

I'm sorry this turned into a novel, but in today's age kids don't have manners. From the time I was old enough to open a door if I didn't do so for an elder I heard about it. I would have never thought about talking back to my parents or any adult for that matter. Please, thank you & excuse me were drilled into my head from the time I was around two. It could also be that "Sally" has had to move a lot. In any case if your up for it you have a chance to change a little ones path. I really hope things work out as you sure don't need the extra stress. I apologize if I over stepped my bounds as that sure wasn't & isn't my intention.

Love, Hugs & God Bless
Lisa

Lisa, I have to respectfully disagree.

ssLisa, she needs to shape up or ship out. You've got enough kids of your own to watch. If she can behave herself, that's great. And taking cookies to the parents to welcome them to the neighborhood isn't going to change this kid's behavior, although it would be a nice gesture.

ssLisa, do you think maybe that more supervision might solve the problem?

Thank you all for your kind words and advice. I haven't seen the child again since she left my yard and I think she may keep her distance for a while. As my grandchildren are at their dad's this week and bf's daughter is away at camp the yard will likely be very quiet this week.

I am prepared to be nice to her and try to do somewhat as Lisa said above. As far as supervision that isn't usually a problem. my 28 year old son usually supervises the back yard when any kids are around and bf is just in the garage most of the afternoon. If my grandchildren are there I am either outside or just in my living room where I have full view of the back yard and can hear everything. She behaves the same regardless of adult presence. I will just wait and hope if she comes back around that she is more willing to listen when we remind of the rules rather than waiting until we get angry.

Thanks again everyone, big Hugs
ssLisa

wonder why this kid is so angry, I would ask her why she gets so mad just wait tell right of course get to know her little better to make sure she well not hurt someone. time tell her you have rules she must go by them or stay away then ask about her parents try to get a feel for who they are .
take your phone out if have any further trouble and video tape it one to protect you but maby she should see why she looks like hugs minnie

We had this problem in another state. The Chief of Police lived across the street and knew what was happening with 2 sisters from the same family. He said never ever confront the parents. He told us of serious repercussions to the reporting families that quickly get out of control. My hubby is a therapist and he agreed. Do not engage the child and ask any questions as this can escalate if reported to the parents.

He said we were not to let the child come and play. All we had to say was - " there are many children already playing so you will need to go home. ".............now if the parents come down to the house just calmly tell the parents they cannot be responsible for any other child.

It worked. Good luck!
Joanne

Thanks Joanne, so far so good. She hasn't been back but I do see her playing with other children in the neighborhood which is great. Mind you my grandchildren are at their dad's this week so our yard is normally alot quieter. We'll see how next week goes when they are back.
Thanks again everyone
ssLisa