Hi, so I am a second year university student currently taking civ eng. last semester I struggled a lot with depression, probably should have been admitted to hospital a few times but i wasnt. I ended up getting help from a friend who is a part of a support group at my school. anyways end of september this year i attempted suicide, only reason it didnt go all the way was because the knife i used was incredibly dull and barely skin, tried a few more times that night with blades but couldnt go through with it. ended up messaging a friend around 1 am but i dont remember this, there is about an hour and half of the night i dont remember. my friend helped me through the following days but even now i still cannot think to deeply about what happened. I hate myself for not going through with, but i hate myself for attempting, and as well for people knowing about it (there is a rule at my school that if someone attempts suicide certain people must be informed) things are going well now but because of what happened and because of how many people know i feel like they look at me differently or treatment differently, as if i am going break if they say something wrong. guess i am just wondering if anyone else has gone through the same thing or has any advice. Im just trying figure why everything happened and how i can put it behind me for good. Thanks!
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