Teen Sexuality Support Group

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what is a good amount of time to wait?????

LAURAAAAA
LAURAAAAA
hey so i'm seriously thinking about haveing sex with my bf for the first time(wich is a big deal for me since i'm a virgin) but i'm scared that i might be moveing to fast. i know he wants have sex and i do to but i just dont know.....what is a good amount of time to be going out with somebody befor you have sex??? i mean is there an ideal length of time or wat?? i've been dateing my bf for about three weeks, but i've known him practicly forever (since fith grade). but then we only started being friends in the last year or so. idk wat do you all think

oh and does anyone have any advice on how to make your fist time go more smoothly??

thanks lots xxxx
CuddlyPanda
CuddlyPanda
Well if you two are good friends if you plan on having sex just understand your friendship may crumble if anything goes wrong. And too me 4 months is a great time to start having sex
deleted_user
deleted_user
my friend lost her virginity to a boy shed been dating for about 2 months....he dumped her later that week.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You're only 16 and have only been dating him for three weeks. Wait until you've been dating for longer (like a year) and are sure you're ready. Sex can have serious consequences, both emotionally and physically, so you have to be 100% sure you're ready.
deleted_user
deleted_user
well, the presence of fear is a good indicator that you aren't there yet, for starters.

there is no formula if you remove the "wait until you are married" answer. Although I do think its sound advice, I digress.

The best advice I ever got concerning this, I will share with you....

Never have sex with someone with whom you are not COMPLETELY comfortable discussing all of the details of sex and sexuality. This means that you are comfortable talking about STDS, pregnancy concerns, birth control options and failures, cheating and the dangers of exposing your partner unknowingly to whatever a third party might carry, masterbation and the details of what pleases you, oral sex, anal sex, how you like to be touched, how you don't like to be touched, etc... etc... If you can't have a conversation about these things without giggling then its likely too soon. And when it comes to sexual satisfaction, you have to know your own body intimately before you offer it to someone else. Be prepared to teach them what you like, rather than have them try to figure it out for you. For me, a basic rule was, if I wasn't comfortable touching myself in front of them, then I wasn't going to let them touch me. After all, I own it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
oh, and about being able to talk... i should have included fantasies and fears.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You should be able to talk to each other about it, you are scared good sign that you still need to wait, it can and does ruin friendships big time, it can hurt you emotionally big time, and i personally think you should wait until you are old enough to raise a baby to have sex but thats just me. and by old enough i mean work and support yourself and your baby. anytime you have sex you have the chance of getting pregnant, not to mention contracting a disease. be careful whatever you choose to do and don't be bullied or rushed into by anyone.
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