I'm afraid I'll just never enjoy sex.

I was sexually assaulted in the past, and I believe I was also raped... It's a long story as to why I'm not sure... But it's not even really about that, which is why this isn't in the sexual abuse forum. Even if none of that had happened, I still think I'll just be forever cursed to not like anything sexual.

I'm not even going to worry about doing anything with guys. I have a girlfriend, right now, whom I plan on being with for a very long time. But, still, the fear stands.

I've always had a really wild libido. I've been masturbating since I was nine or ten, but I could never get off to anything just... normal. I can't stand the feeling of anything being inside me -- even before the abuse and whatnot -- and my fingers alone could just never cut it. I've found strange but efficient ways to take care of things.

So, I'm afraid now, that when my girlfriend and I reach that level, it's just going to... fail. I mean, I'm sure it'll be fine for her, and I'll have a lot of fun... well, doing that for her. But it'll just feel unbalanced. I just don't think anyone can do anything to get me off.

Anyone actually have this problem?