Teen Anxiety Support Group

The Teen Anxiety community is focused on teens who are suffering from or concerned about anxiety. Teenagers commonly experience many different forms of stress as they continually face new situations. The purpose of the community is to help facilitate teens communication, and in the process share ideas, and develop the knowledge, tools and techniques that may effectively...

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Ending self depreciation

dmb1
dmb1
I'm 19 years old. I'm an artist, and I want to be a songwriter/vocalist. I'm sickly thin and barely eat. I'm unemployed. I'm sleep-deprived. Every day feels like groundhog day.

I am discontent with myself. I hate myself.

This prevents me from getting a job. Understand I've never been a social outcast or anything of the sort, in many regards I am very social. Being around friends and working with the public is very different.

I'm losing my hair. I have been for years. Shaving it is out of the question because of my odd-shaped head. It's already noticeable because of my hairline and it will only get worse. It's flat at the back and goes up at a 40 degree angle at the front, like a primate.

Nobody likes people who look like this. Everything is so reliant on physical appearance nowadays. People who look that way are viewed as creepy manchildren or pedophiles.

Who wants to be that guy who gets hair plugs or surgery, anyway? What the hell is even the point? I could buy a new car with the money I could spend on getting my hair back, and it's not even guaranteed to work. Nobody will respect my decision either way. "It's just hair", they'll probably say.

I've heard the same crap every single time, too. "There's only one you." "You are beautiful." "You are unique." "Physical appearance doesn't matter."

All of it's crap. Of course my friends mean what they say, but that doesn't change anything about how everyone else views me.

"That doesn't matter."

How does it not? Who wants to hang out or hook up with a teen who looks like he's pushing 38? Who wants to see a guy like that working the register? You'd be apt to turn the other way, if not run. Hell, who wants to hire a guy who looks like 10 miles of bad road in the first place? Nobody.

I can't do anything because I'm so unbelievably anxious. I feel like I'm rotting.
styliyah
styliyah
Hey your not rotting,I should know I felt that way for a long time hell i still do.What you need is something that will pull you out of your dark mood.Now i am sure you are not as revolting as you think you are.maybe all you need is a friend who feels for you.If you ever need some to talk to I'm here lol.I'm styliyah by the way.
monkeyinatree79
monkeyinatree79
That's already one cool thing about you that you're an artist! Are you a visual artist along with musical? It seems like you need to focus less on what you think others will criticize about you and more on the qualities you like about yourself. Since you want to be a vocalist, you must have a great voice:). It also seems like you need to think more positive, which I know seems impossible, but believe me, it is very possible to change the way you think. You just have to believe you can change and you have to want to change. When I was younger, I would always put myself down and make myself cry, and I still have low self-confidence, but I'm much more positive now. The thing is that you have to believe that you can change and whenever you catch yourself thinking that you hate yourself, you need to stop, do some breathing exercises (which are very helpful with anxiety, I like the one where you breath in for 5 seconds, hold your breath for 5 seconds, and breathe out for 5 seconds. I usually repeat this about 10 to 15 times and it's calming, but you have to believe it will work for it to work.), and after the breathing exercises, you need to think of about 3 things you like about yourself or 3 things that you're grateful for. I know it's very hard at first, so it may help to brainstorm all the positive qualities about yourself on a piece of paper and you can bring it with you everywhere you go. So if you forget how amazing you are, you can take your paper out and look at all the great things about you. Also, If you're assuming that no one will hire you, you're wrong. It may take a long time, but if you keep trying, you can get a job:). You just have to stay hopeful and believe. And by the way, you write really well with many expressions I would've never thought of. There's another thing to like about yourself and I'm sure there are a lot more likable qualities about you that you just need to think about to find:). Maybe if it's too hard to think positively by yourself, you can seek help from a positive friend who can help you write down the things that you like about yourself. And do you have a favorite song that cheers you up?
monkeyinatree79
monkeyinatree79
It also may help to go out for a hike in nature, that always cheers me up:). And you may have depression, so if you're not in that support group, it may help to join it. Meditation and yoga might help too. :)
brockblack
brockblack
Yeah I agree, people are disgusting now a-days. They do judge you based off of appearance. Their morals are completely mixed up.

My challenge to you is to make it your goal in life to spend as little time around people like that as possible, who needs them? Be a stand up person with well defined values. And to hell with it, shave your head!

It'll look cleaner even if your head is oddly shaped, I will tell you based off of personal experience that the older you get the less people care about your looks. Plus you stop giving a crap too.

Make up for your hair by making everything else look presentable (clothes and such). Girls are also very forgiving of appearance, especially if you can let your personality shine through.

Just some advice from one ugly guy to another.

Best,
Brock