SURVIVORS OF SOCIOPATHS Community Group
A group where we support one another and share our experiences with each other about narcissistic relationships. a place to heal if you have been "touched" by a sociopath. there is hope. share your experience strength and hope here with others who have been where you are. together we help each other heal...
Psychopathic Relationship Experiment :-)
aagardfamily
Now I know a few might think it's cruel... and a few might feel I'm justified...
My stance: Is it really "cruel" to experiment with a robot?
On the other board a few weeks ago, I mentioned how I've started dating a sociopath. I only did it initially because I was afraid (after I discovered he was a sociopath) that he'd stalk me as we've all grown accustom to. Then I decided it might be a fun experiment to find out how the progression of a psychopathic bond works.
We started as neighbors, hanging out with a group of 6 people a few nights a week.
After about a month, we hung out alone one night until 6am (first kiss) and I grilled him. I didn't really talk myself aside from asking a ton of questions about him so I wouldn't give my own personality away. That's one thing I've learned from my past: I talked too much - I gave it all away early on so the P's knew what to say to create the "perfect mate".
So Red Flags that first night: He said he was a good liar. He was arrested once for kidnapping his senior year but it was the kid's (victim) fault. He also said he's often called a robot and he can fake cry at will. He used to make his girlfriend cry all the time (but of course, according to him, it was her fault because she was hypoglycemic or something) and she was controlling & never let him have any friends... see the pattern forming?
*******And if I didn't know psychopathy, I would've been sucked right in to his pity play... but I just let him keep digging his hole.********
I told him I like pumpkin lattes... and suddenly he likes pumpkin lattes but yet he never drinks them when we get them. He gives his drink to me after a few sips. Last week, we visited his regular Starbucks and they asked if he wanted his normal mocha. When he said "No, pumpkin today please" they all looked at him like he was nuts - they had that confused "what the hell?" look.
He says he doesn't camouflage who he is, he just "adapts" to the people around him. He repeats "he's a giver" over and over, like he's trying to convince both of us of it.
He was overly flattering: I'm so hot.... I'm so smart... I'm so thin... I look so young... he's never been with someone with such a hot body before... etc.
I asked him to name one thing he's done for others where he expected absolutely nothing in return and he fixated on it for literally days. He would randomly, mid-conversation on a totally different topic, say "Oh! I remember when I gave a lady and her child an umbrella in Korea. It was raining really hard but they needed it more than I did." (obviously fake story - his demeanor alone gave it away)
When I said I wasn't feeling it between us, he got a little scary and clingy. I told him we have absolutely nothing in common and he began insisting like a mad person that we have tons in common but yet he couldn't name anything in particular (remember, I've been keeping my mouth shut about myself).
Now he's started telling me that I'm clinically insane (but of course, in a joking manner - pshuah yeah right) and that the guys we hang out with want to sleep with me... that the girls don't like me. That he "doesn't want to share me" with anyone else, including our friends.
(isolation)
Then there was the constant texting last week and after a weekend of intense relations and spending quite a bit of time together, that's when I started getting the butterflies......... so of course, I slammed on the brakes and I've ignored him for the past 3 days and **POOF** butterflies are gone.
The skinny of it is this:
It's an addiction to the constant attention combined with the other behaviors... but primarily the attention thing.
My stance: Is it really "cruel" to experiment with a robot?
On the other board a few weeks ago, I mentioned how I've started dating a sociopath. I only did it initially because I was afraid (after I discovered he was a sociopath) that he'd stalk me as we've all grown accustom to. Then I decided it might be a fun experiment to find out how the progression of a psychopathic bond works.
We started as neighbors, hanging out with a group of 6 people a few nights a week.
After about a month, we hung out alone one night until 6am (first kiss) and I grilled him. I didn't really talk myself aside from asking a ton of questions about him so I wouldn't give my own personality away. That's one thing I've learned from my past: I talked too much - I gave it all away early on so the P's knew what to say to create the "perfect mate".
So Red Flags that first night: He said he was a good liar. He was arrested once for kidnapping his senior year but it was the kid's (victim) fault. He also said he's often called a robot and he can fake cry at will. He used to make his girlfriend cry all the time (but of course, according to him, it was her fault because she was hypoglycemic or something) and she was controlling & never let him have any friends... see the pattern forming?
*******And if I didn't know psychopathy, I would've been sucked right in to his pity play... but I just let him keep digging his hole.********
I told him I like pumpkin lattes... and suddenly he likes pumpkin lattes but yet he never drinks them when we get them. He gives his drink to me after a few sips. Last week, we visited his regular Starbucks and they asked if he wanted his normal mocha. When he said "No, pumpkin today please" they all looked at him like he was nuts - they had that confused "what the hell?" look.
He says he doesn't camouflage who he is, he just "adapts" to the people around him. He repeats "he's a giver" over and over, like he's trying to convince both of us of it.
He was overly flattering: I'm so hot.... I'm so smart... I'm so thin... I look so young... he's never been with someone with such a hot body before... etc.
I asked him to name one thing he's done for others where he expected absolutely nothing in return and he fixated on it for literally days. He would randomly, mid-conversation on a totally different topic, say "Oh! I remember when I gave a lady and her child an umbrella in Korea. It was raining really hard but they needed it more than I did." (obviously fake story - his demeanor alone gave it away)
When I said I wasn't feeling it between us, he got a little scary and clingy. I told him we have absolutely nothing in common and he began insisting like a mad person that we have tons in common but yet he couldn't name anything in particular (remember, I've been keeping my mouth shut about myself).
Now he's started telling me that I'm clinically insane (but of course, in a joking manner - pshuah yeah right) and that the guys we hang out with want to sleep with me... that the girls don't like me. That he "doesn't want to share me" with anyone else, including our friends.
(isolation)
Then there was the constant texting last week and after a weekend of intense relations and spending quite a bit of time together, that's when I started getting the butterflies......... so of course, I slammed on the brakes and I've ignored him for the past 3 days and **POOF** butterflies are gone.
The skinny of it is this:
It's an addiction to the constant attention combined with the other behaviors... but primarily the attention thing.
My Update:
N#1: I blocked him in response to a recent silent treatment. lol. I LOVE flipping it on them! They rage!
N#2: I have started a new thing I call, "I don't care:)" That's what I say every time he says I am doing something wrong...which can be as dumb as him telling me I cut a tomato with the "wrong kind of knife". I used to actually apologize and scramble for the "correct knife". Now I just smile and keep cutting hte damn tomato with a steak knife and say, "I don't care.:)" The look of shock on his face the first time I said that was priceless! :)
SO TRUE !!!!
I still have a problem with giving too much of myself away to N's in particular. Especially my mother. She only answers my phone calls about once a year and the whole time she is DYING to get off the phone and she keeps repeating, "So everything's fine?..." as her out to get off the phone. Then I find myself telling her everything that's happened in the past year in a flurry...I don't know why she has that effect on me. And it's so weird bcz everything I tell her, she responds, in a very sad and 'neglected' tone, "I had no idea! No one told me!" and that's so weird because I call her every time something awesome or terrible happens, to keep her apprised and in my life. But she never calls me back unless I call about HER. (LIke to ask her a question about HER.) She is so freaking odd!
@Bella .... ***HUGS***
@onthemend ... I feel your pain. My family is exactly the same way and I was brainwashed by my mother for YEARS and YEARS. I used to think it was only my father who was crazy but I believe they're actually both full blown narcissists. It's always about them and always has been. My father used fear to control us. My mother used guilt and pity. I even had to write my sister off the other night because she's doing exactly what classic co-dependents do: trying to fight their battles for them. Using my situation between my parents as a distraction from the crap sandwich that is her own life. Lashing out at me again.
I got rid of new stalker for about a week but he reared his crazy head again a couple of days ago and even went so far as to join my singles' group. When I canceled my evite last night, he texted me asking why, PROVING that he's following every move I make... but he's messing with the wrong person at this particular moment in time.
(don't worry, I still continue to hit the "ignore" button and haven't responded)
Crazy pants #1... the ex-husband... threatened to file for custody of our youngest son claiming neglect and parental alienation because child support services finally discovered his real salary and it increased his child support by almost $250/mo so he's going all sorts of psycho right now............... so it's back to court. Not something I'm looking forward to and it's just another way for him to try and ruin the holidays.
I'm really not as concerned or scared as I would have been 3+ years ago but it's still irritating and expensive.
He pulls this garbage every single year around the holidays.
Anyway, I'm off to take the kiddies to see a movie.
i keep thinking how hard it must be to grow up with narcissist parents and i feel very sad for those of you who did. growing up is hard enough in life , but to have a parent treat you the way those kind of people do just would be so confusing growing up. i feel very great full even though my mother had her issues she pretty much loved me i know she just wasnt ever there to teach me the basics and i know that is what happened to me to start the patterns of abusive relationships in my life. ( she had gotten in a car accident when i was about 6 and became a prescription drug addict to narcotics and somas and later died from an over dose )... im just sorry any child grew up without the basics from fucked up parents , little did they know they were setting us up for disaster. or maybe the narcissists do know they were doing that. it just makes me sad. i guess now we deal with the after math of screwed up parents. oh well.... so how are you doing other wise girl?? think about you all the time and keep thinking i gotta make a trip down so we can meet in person sometime soon. i think it would be so great to meet you in the flesh !!!! hugs and hang in there youll get thru this crap with #1 and #2, your way to smart for these guys now. hugs to you sister
You super made my night and I totally agree we need to get together soon. If you have a cell, I'll send you my number so we can text each other when I'm up north.
And "ignore" button finally had to be snoozed.
While we were at the movies, I got a sad, pathetic voicemessage from stalker#2 telling me he'll never call me again and he hopes I find love.
LOL
Then it's followed by 3 texts saying pretty much the same pathetic thing.
I told him to not contact me anymore.
He writes back with a happy veteran's day message and thanks me for my service and NAMES my squadron WHICH I NEVER TOLD HIM... but I google'd my name and found my military profile online so I know that's how he got that info.
But the final straw was when we got home........ there's a plastic bag hanging on my front door with all these bizarre gifts and unicorn crap.
What an idiot!!! Just because I think Charlie the Unicorn is hilarious doesn't mean I'm in love with unicorns (btw YouTube Charlie the Unicorn you guys ---- funny stuff!) but like I said, I haven't told this guy jack crap so he really only knows tidbits & the superficial things about me.
Anyway, the bag of unwelcome gifts just set me off and I told him if he contacts me again, leaves gifts or notes, I'm getting a restraining order.
These kinds of people are just beyond exhausting to deal with.
did i ever tell you guys that i had a blog about sociopaths?? it was called,,, sociopaths, the damage they do to those who love them. well i got a call from mexico a few months ago ( the night it happened ) it was my ex, saying he found my blog. OMG !!!!! i freaked out and hung up on him. he called 29 times that night. lol i was to scared to answer it. lol he finally sent me a msg and it said , is that really how you see me???? then he says not that i dont blame you . i can see how you may see it that way, its not the first time someone has said that to me. OMG..i was so freaked out. i googled my name and my blog showed up. even though it was written in cognito and with my name bellanomore from here. he used to always accuse me of spying on him so i couldnt help myself,,, i said ARE YOU SPYING ON ME??? LOL needless to say he still contacts me and acts like things are friendly between us and has never said, no im not a sociopath. but he was worried someone was going to find it and figure out it was him. i made it private for now because i felt weird knowing he was reading it. but someday..... lol just thought i would share that with you all , a little laugh for the night, lol omg they really do go to lengths to spy on you and find info... it was so weird , i couldnt believe i just freaked out and hung up on him lol what could i say lol