SURVIVORS OF SOCIOPATHS Community Group

A group where we support one another and share our experiences with each other about narcissistic relationships. a place to heal if you have been "touched" by a sociopath. there is hope. share your experience strength and hope here with others who have been where you are. together we help each other heal...

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DamlaSu 11/17/2016

It has been nearly 2 months since last time I saw him. I was in sociopathic hell for all these times. I was drinking like crazy, didn't want to see or talk to anyone and I had suicidal thoughts. The pain was so deep I couldn't even cry. I was feeling angry, weak, guilty, very hurt and at the same time I was craving him so badly like a drug addict craves his drugs. How it was possible for me to crave a sociopath who damaged me in such a cruel way? That contradiction was making me mad. It was like a black, sticky, suffocative hole that I didn’t think I can find the way out. I thought I was losing my mind. My brain wouldn't stop to analyse every details of the relationship of the times we were together. I know it will sound crazy but one night I read all the chats we had all these months to try to find out if there was a little moment that he really loved me. No, he was just playing with me. The puzzle was too big to put all the pieces on their places. It was mentally very tiring. But last week I started to feel better and better. I finished the puzzle and I guess accepted the fact that it was an unlucky situation in my life. Yes, his love never existed for real, but at least mine was REAL. I am lucky to be a human being who can love, care for other people and empathise. The loneliness that I was feeling at the beginning of the separation is now bearable. I restarted to breath, and the palpitations gone. I love myself more now and can see the light again. I advice anyone who had an experience with a sociopath to have NO CONTACT and PLEASE to be patient. Trust me the pain will go away with time. You are more strong that you think and you can love yourself more than those soulless people. Please don’t forget that they can’t love anyone, not only you, so don't take it personally. I wish you all the strength to overcome this difficult situation. You can send me message here if you want to talk. I really know how you feel, and maybe I can help. Best best wishes and have a beautiful evening.

PS. If you want to read, I wrote my experience with my sociopath in my previous post,

I am very sure you'll find so many similarities with your one :)

kmichellern 12/13/2016

This is great! I am 5 weeks out from my sociopath husband. I am still very distraut and sad.

DamlaSu 12/13/2016

It will get better, please be patient. I know it's very very difficult but try to focus on other things. Try to socialise with people. Attend to some workshops that may give you pleasure. If you crave to see him, read everything about sociopaths again and again, that also helps to avoid contact him. I still feel pain when I remember him, and miss good times that I lived with him although they were all lies. But the pain is so much less compare 2 months ago. Message me if you need to talk with someone. I send you my Best wishes :)

Mack2016 01/19/2017

Knowing others have gone through something similar gives me comfort. Thanks for sharing. I'm struggling, but I hope i find the strength to get through this.

DamlaSu 01/20/2017

Dear Mack, It's been three and a half months that I didn't see him. I was like a wreck. I even had suicidal thoughts. I have never felt that weak before in my life. I must confess it wasn't easy at all. I have been where you are now and I promise you, it will pass. Everyday you won't see him, you'll start to heal. Slowly, but definitely for better. If you need to talk please send me a message. I felt the pain very deeply but now I feel so much better so I want to help anyone who had similar experience. I send you my best wishes and I am ready to help you. :)

siren73 03/06/2017

Just hang in there, kmichellem, I am four weeks out from my sociopath husband who abandoned and ghosted my kids and I. I am feeling a little better, but there are times where I feel like I can't breathe, and the pain is too heavy. I pray. I talk to people. I read self-help books. I hug my kids. I work. Just breathe....and the breathing out is healing already taking place.

survivor11 04/10/2017

It's really hard for me to believe the pain will go away, but if you say so, maybe it will. I don't know at the moment. It's already starting to go, but I'm skeptical of whether I can completely heal.

DamlaSu 04/11/2017

Hi Survivor11, The pain will go away, and you will completely heal, the only thing that will change will be you. After you'll recover, you'll feel so much stronger and more self confident. It has been probably 6 months since last time I saw him, I can definitely tell you that I feel so much better and stronger now. I am more aware of myself, I know what I want from life and I learned to be happy with myself, not being happy because of "someone". Of course I am not happy every second but definitely I feel way better compare before, during and after him. In a way I grew up, evolved. I totally understand how you feel. It's a feeling like someone very close to you died in your life. But trust me it will pass, and you will feel so much better. I lost my father in 2005, the pain was unbearable, and even that pain is gone after couple of years. So a horrible sociopath's pain on you definitely will go away :) You are strong, you have all the power inside of you to be "real you" and to be happy. If you need any help, please send me a message. I wish you all the strength to overcome this difficult period. Xxx

ImmabOK 08/14/2017

I just broke up with my boyfriend and although he displayed many of the sociopathic traits, I still wish somehow that it's not true. How could I be morning the loss of someone who conned me? It was all just a game to him. A game to get what He wanted.
The hardest part for me to deal with is that he NEVER cared for me. This is so different from other relationships because at least there is a chance for reconciliation but in this case, if they do try to "reconcile" you have to run for the hills but chances are, they won't because you meant NOTHING to them. The REALLY hurts.

ImmabOK 08/14/2017

DamlaSu - New here. Not sure if you will get this but my father passed away a week before my Ex and I broke up but for me personally, I dealt with the death of my father better than with the break-up and here's why. Death is final. It is permanent. My father is no longer on this earth and I accept that. This however feels worse because my Ex isn't dead. He's still very much alive and is only a phone call away. I have to live knowing that he is alive, living his life and I'm angry at myself for thinking this way but he never cared for me so why should I care for him. Perhaps because at the same time I found out my dad had died, the stress of it caused me to lose our Baby. He wasn't JUST any boyfriend. I was about to have a child with him. I feel that losing the baby was for the best because who knows how he would have messed up our kid or use my vulnerability as a mother to mess with me even more but still. It hurts. Losing my father, our unborn child and him all in the space of a week. And through all that, he still could not be kind to me. He simply wasn't capable. Didn't have it in him. It's a lot to take in but for some reason, HE is the hardest part to deal with in this equation and I'm angry at myself about it but most of all I feel disgusted at the entire situation and very much hurt. I meant NOTHING to him. NOTHING.
(Sorry if I'm all over the place in this post. Typing through the tears and trying to get it all off my chest).

DamlaSu 08/17/2017

Hi Immabok, I just sent you a private message.

lovebombyourself 08/18/2017

Thank you for this post. Gives me hope. I felt like my life was over too. It's amazing what we all go through and what we learn. I'm glad you are in a good place ❤️❤️

Heartrippedout 08/20/2017

Hi good that I found this I was going to try to set up a support group if not as I feel so alone in my despair at the moment & losing my mind! suddenly walked out on & heartbroken angry very sad .

Heartrippedout 08/20/2017

ImmabOK I feel the same I meant NOTHING our 'love' meant NOTHING how do we deal with this?? He just walks away carries on not a care in the world aarrrrr!!!!! the last 5wks has been hell hard to get through the day & what I need to do to survive - him in my head every min going over & over everything - cant breath! How dare you , so many people get away with this behaviour & we have to live with there actions - I just want us back as it was b4 but how can I want that it was fake love it seems omg this is so hard -

DamlaSu 08/20/2017

Hi Heartrippedout, I am very sorry about what you have experienced. I have a big empathy for you. I assume here all of us we have been trough exactly the same feelings as you are having now. I had too many contradictions with myself exactly like you. When I realised that he was a sociopath, I still wanted him so badly. Wanting him desperately, was making me feel less and less worthy. You need to be strong my dear friend. Please know your own value and accept the fact that they can never love not only you but anyone. The earlier you accept this fact the earlier you'll start to heal. It is very hard, I truly feel your pain but you can do it. You need time. Focus on other things, try to eat healthy, don't stay alone very much. Try to do things that you really enjoy. Treat yourself as much as you can and give yourself some time. If you need to talk, you can write me here or send me private message. I send you all my love and best wishes. You can do it!

DamlaSu 08/20/2017

Thank you lovebombyourself :) I am glad you feel better as well. Big hugs :)

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