I feel like in the case of my ex.....who got out of an eight year relationship with his ex wife (who he lied to me about) and had a four year old kid (who he lied to me about), he needed to find someone who would "side" with him and tell him what an amazing person he was after his whole family and ex wife pretty much deserted him and said all of it was his fault. He needed someone to pet his head and tell him what an awful person his ex wife was for taking his kid away and breaking his heart into a million pieces.


I think about her (who I have never met before) all the time and honestly glorify the woman for her strength in leaving such an awful man.
I remember on our first date he told me "I wish I met you five years ago...(five years ago being, before his son was born). And then told me that he never thought he would ever meet someone again and then he met me and I changed his world and showed him what true love was blah blah blah
I was his rebound, basically. He needed a pick me up. And of course after he used me again to sleep with me after he broke up with me he asked me- How do I look? Did you notice I lost weight? Don't I look good?

Its gross. Just gross.

You're right...it is about power. I think they are on such a quest for power that they don't understand the kind of bullshit they are spewing and the kind of things that they say. Like mine said how he wanted to see me every day, how I'm all he thinks about, how I'm his world and he wouldnt be able to live without me and then the whole marriage thing. And he told me I was crazy for telling him I loved him and that it "freaked him out"? How does that make me any crazier than him?
I think they brainwash themselves in the process. They take NO responsibility at all for the things they say or do. Absolutely NONE.

no they dont. most of them actually believe the crap that comes out of their mouths. maybe thats how they are so convincing. its all about power and control with them. nothing more. and no your not crazy he just says that to confuse you and beat you down. narcissists are the worst i think.

It is quite sad. I think mine believed it at the time but just as easily could have dismissed it...I think the feelings they feel are all temporary and for the sake of accomplishing a goal. And when they can't accomplish the goal they give up and toss everything away as though it never happened.
It makes me sad that people like this exist at all. No one deserves to be treated this way. And the sad part is...theyll continue hurting others. Theyll continue to collect victims until they find one that isn't strong enough to leave, or that they can manipulate continuously. I don't know how these people live with themselves.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that my SH asked to marry me, and then discarded me. How is that possible to take a wife, and dispose of her as if she never existed? It is beyond comprehension, no matter how well researchers explain. How do you make sense out of nonsensical? I know, I just became heated again in trying to understand these individuals....I think the other poster was right, I'm going back to being angry.

Breakfree- my ex proposed to me too. You have to realize they take no responsibility for their actions and ore tend like they never did or said any of those things. Yes it is possible. People with their kind of cruelty really exist. We deserve to be angry and upset at how we were treated

Heyvee - Thanks for that. It really angers me what these individuals are able to do to so many of us. I'm calm now.